A nurse goes through
a questionnaire with James, and we learn that he pretty much drinks from sun-up
to sunset and uses every drug on the street (except Krokodil, although he'd
probably try it). His drug use is insane, and it's not going to be easy to stop
pumping his body full of that stuff.
I am crushed by images and sounds […] Dark shadows and
bright lights […] The bugs crawl onto my skin and they start biting me and I
try to kill them. (1.2.140-1.2.141)
No, James isn't
suffering through the Johnny Depp flop <em>Dark
</em>he's having withdrawal dreams—pretty much on the second night of
not being an addict. It's only going to get harder from here.
I started drinking at ten, doing drugs at twelve. (1.4.186)
James is 23, so he's
been drinking and doing drugs for over ten years. Most kids are just addicted
to candy and fast food at that age, but hey, those may be even harder
addictions to break.
They are hard, weathered, worn-out and desperate.
Intimidating and thuggish, addicted and insane. They are all different and they
are all the same and as I sit there smoking my cigarette, they scare the living
s*** out of me. (1.4.258)
James believes that
addiction reduces everyone to the same level, but we're not sure if he's scared
of these people because they <em>are
</em>him or because he somehow thinks they're scarier than he is…
even though they're all on the same level.
I feel good again, perfect, magnificent and invincible, like
the power of every orgasm I've ever had, could ever have and will ever have has
been concentrated into a single moment. (1.6.6)
Now we have a good
idea why James does drugs, and keeps doing drugs, over and over again. He's
trying to escape into an intense feeling that, once had, is hard for him to
live without, even on a day-to-day basis.
The divisions among the men are not made by class, but by
drug of choice. Drunks sit together, Cokeheads sit together, Crackheads sit
together, Junkies sit together, Pillpoppers sit together. (1.8.105)
Well, that's one way to
divide people up. Instead of prison, where people might group up together by
race, people in rehab seem to group up together depending on whatever drug they're
trying to get off of.
I sat and stared at her. I forgot that I was drunk, forgot
that I was sick. (2.4.61)
addiction to alcohol and drugs with an addition to an unnamed girl. Just like
drinking and drug use, the girl is pretty much an object to feed his need.
I have an empty bottle in one hand. I have an empty pipe in
the other. I am standing on a Street Corner littered with trash. There are
shoes hanging from the telephone wires. The ghosts of the rock are screaming.
No, Dwayne "The
Rock" Johnson isn't haunting James Frey's nightmares; these are crack
withdrawal dreams he's going through. We imagine it must be hard to kick the
habit if you're still smoking in your dreams.
I'll give me life heart soul money future everything please
give me more. I want need have to have more. Give me more and I'll give you
everything. Give me more and I'll do whatever you want. Give me more. Give me
more. Give me more. (3.1.4)
James is either
here, or he's writing about
how strong his addiction is. He would give anything, even his life, for that
Any Idiot, especially an Addicted Idiot, knows that if you
do drugs or drink when you're trying to stay sober, even if that drug or drink
is not your chemical of choice, then you are probably going to get hooked on
Could love apply
here? Because it seems that James is replacing his chemical dependency on his
dependency on Lilly. Of course, any Idiot should be able to see that.