Autobiography of My Dead Brother Chapter 19
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- Jesse's reflecting on the artistic process. He likes watching C.J. play the piano, especially when he gets really into it. Sometimes Jesse feels the same way when he's drawing.
- But now is not one of those times. Jesse's trying to paint, but the strokes won't come—instead he keeps thinking about Rise.
- Jesse thinks about the meeting that's scheduled. He feels like he's been sucked into it, and he knows he needs to pull back, but he isn't sure how.
- Jesse's mom asks him if he wants something to eat. Eggs? Nah. But when she offers tuna on toast, he can't refuse.
- He thinks about ratting out Rise. But what if there's nothing to the meeting and Jesse ends up looking dumb?
- Jesse calls C.J., who says he's going to the meeting. Jesse confesses that Sidney told him something might be going on with the Diablos,
- C.J. doesn't really seem to care—or at least he's trying to act like he doesn't care. He seems resigned to going to the meeting.
- Before they hang up, Jesse tries to make a pact that they'll watch out for each other, but C.J. is noncommittal.
- Jesse has lost the heart for tuna on toast. He sets his plate aside and starts looking through his material for the book. He reflects back on a time he and Rise went to a church picnic.
- Jesse calls Rise and tells him about the Sidney thing, but Rise seems totally unconcerned.
- After they hang up, Jesse wonders why Rise didn't seem nervous. He wonders if Rise even cares whether he lives or dies.