Study Guide

Autobiography of My Dead Brother Chapter 19

By Walter Dean Myers

Chapter 19

Jesse's reflecting on the artistic process. He likes watching C.J. play the piano, especially when he gets really into it. Sometimes Jesse feels the same way when he's drawing.
But now is not one of those times. Jesse's trying to paint, but the strokes won't come—instead he keeps thinking about Rise.
Jesse thinks about the meeting that's scheduled. He feels like he's been sucked into it, and he knows he needs to pull back, but he isn't sure how.
Jesse's mom asks him if he wants something to eat. Eggs? Nah. But when she offers tuna on toast, he can't refuse.
He thinks about ratting out Rise. But what if there's nothing to the meeting and Jesse ends up looking dumb?
Jesse calls C.J., who says he's going to the meeting. Jesse confesses that Sidney told him something might be going on with the Diablos,
C.J. doesn't really seem to care—or at least he's trying to act like he doesn't care. He seems resigned to going to the meeting.
Before they hang up, Jesse tries to make a pact that they'll watch out for each other, but C.J. is noncommittal.
Jesse has lost the heart for tuna on toast. He sets his plate aside and starts looking through his material for the book. He reflects back on a time he and Rise went to a church picnic.
Jesse calls Rise and tells him about the Sidney thing, but Rise seems totally unconcerned.
After they hang up, Jesse wonders why Rise didn't seem nervous. He wonders if Rise even cares whether he lives or dies.