Billy Lynn's Long Halftime Walk Chapter 9

Jamie Lee Curtis Made a S***ty Movie

• While Billy and Faison were bumping up against each other, there were big goings on with the movie deal. All of a sudden, it turns out that Norm Oglesby may be the Bravos' best shot for producing their film.
• The Bravo guys are all anxiously wondering why it's so hard to find funding for their movie.
• Dime is in a silent funk, and Billy desperately needs him to snap out of it so that he can talk to him about Faison. Their interaction was so perfect, like a wet-dream come to life, and Billy wonders if maybe he was delusional.
• Josh walks up to the Bravos accompanied by some cheerleaders (but not Faison, dang it) and dumps a bunch of footballs at their feet to be used as props for a photo shoot.
• The Bravos are just standing around, waiting in the freezing cold for the network people to show up with their cameras.
• Bored, Billy gets Dime to heave a pass downfield for him to catch.
• Dime has a cannon for an arm, but Billy's ready for it. Touchdown.
• Dime and Billy go back and forth like that, Dime heaving bullets, and Billy catching TDs. The other people milling around the end zone start to cheer for them.
• Then all the Bravo guys are on the field, tackling, kicking, throwing, and dodging each other to wild fanfare from the crowds.
• Eventually, the Bravos are unpleasantly asked by three obese men in Cowboys gear to "get the HELL off the field." The Bravos, of course, mock them ruthlessly.
• Even Norm thought the tussle was funny, and he apologizes for his over-eager field manager, Bruce.
• When the shoot finally happens, Dime keeps wildly veering off-script, to the delight of Bravo and the consternation of the "medias." (Nobody ever told them that media is already plural, and that the singular is medium.)
• Billy eavesdrops on Dime and Norm as they discuss the potential movie deal.
• We were wondering why Ben Fountain felt the need to diss Jamie Lee Curtis with this chapter title, and it turns out it's a case of mistaken identity. Norm has confused Hilary Swank with Jamie Lee Curtis in True Lies. How…wha-…does he even?
• Norm informs the Bravos that those footballs are theirs to keep—but first they've got to get them signed.