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Book 4, Chapter 29
- In the morning, Martine's still trying to cure Sophie of her bulimia by cooking her fattening foods. Sophie tries, again, to explain that a cure is not that easy.
- And then, Martine drops a bombshell: she's pregnant. That's what she went to tell Marc the night before.
- Once again, Sophie asks if Martine will marry Marc. But it's clear that Martine's super unhappy with herself and can't imagine that Marc could be happy with her, either.
- Sophie asks what she'll do about the baby, but Martine doesn't know. She does assert that it's her decision alone whether or not to continue the pregnancy.
- She's riddled with doubts: she feels that she was a bad mother the first time, that she's already had a second chance at life after surviving breast cancer. It seems another child would be too much.
- Martine admits to Sophie that she still has the nightmares and that she knows she should seek therapy, but she's fearful.
- She's worried that a psychiatrist might make her confront the rape, and she doesn't want to relive it.
- Martine admits that when she found out she was pregnant with Sophie, she tried to abort. Nothing she or her mother did worked, so they guessed the baby was a fighter.
- She feels that this baby is strong, too, but the nightmares are worse. But she's tormented when she thinks about having an abortion.
- Sophie encourages her to seek professional help, because Martine's feelings are really intense—and frankly, a little scary.
- Martine is certain that she won't survive through the pregnancy because of her mental suffering. Sophie is a little helpless, suggesting only that she marry Marc.
- But Martine knows that marrying Marc won't fix her head. She lends Sophie her car so that she can drive back to Providence and Joseph.
- On the journey, she remembers living with her mom and waking her from her nightmares. It was terrifying. Most of the time, she had to stop Martine from harming herself.
- We also learn that Sophie herself had suicidal thoughts when she left Brooklyn to marry Joseph. She thought that she might have "inherited" her mother's issues, though that seemed impossible.
- Sophie is encouraged by Brigitte's love of sleep—it meant that the baby had not inherited the nightmares or anxieties of the other women in the family.
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