The Old Woman recounts her life story to Cunégonde and Candide:
The Old Woman is the child of Pope Urban X and the Princess of Palestrina. Voltaire, in a footnote, applauds his discretion in inventing this pope rather than attributing an illegitimate child to a real one.
As a young woman, she is super hot.
She has a brief marriage, but her (also super hot) husband dies.
The woman and her mother set sail for a vacation estate, but on the way, "Moorish pirates" capture their boat. She, her mother, and all of their servants are strip-searched and raped.
When the ship arrives in Morocco, they find the country embroiled in conflict.
Countless men fight over her and her mother. Ultimately, everyone is killed. Except her.
She passes out and wakes up when she feels someone "moving up and down her body." While all her encounters to date have been with black men, she makes a point of telling us that this man is "fair-faced."
His actions over her body seem like rape until she hears the man, who speaks her native language of Italian, say, "O che sciagura d'essere senza coglioni!"
This means, "Oh, what a misfortune to be without testicles."