The King of the Bulgars goes to battle with the King of Abars.
The battle kills several thousand men on each side. Throughout the battle, Candide tries desperately to hide. As soon as it’s safe to come out, he deserts.
Candide wanders through scenes of horrible carnage, which Voltaire so kindly informs us include "arms," "legs," and, of course, "brains."
Candide decides it is necessary now to devote some time to ruminating on cause and effect.
He wanders philosophically into another town and requests charity from a Protestant minister. The man asks Candide to express his religious allegiance, but Candide is only able to respond with Pangloss’s signature philosophical statements about cause and effect.
The minister’s wife, in a fit of rage, dumps a bucket of human waste on Candide’s head.
An Anabaptist named James sees the incident and offers Candide a change of clothes, a meal, and an an apprenticeship in his rug-making business.
Candide’s faith in the world is restored.
The following day, Candide sees a beggar with terrible sores, which momentarily threatens his newly restored faith.