Eugene Wadell in Dancing on the Edge

Eugene Wadell

It's bizarre enough that Gigi meets her future husband, Eugene Wadell, at a paranormal conference—this alone tells us that this guy is at least a bit of a weirdo—but it doesn't stop there. According to Miracle, he's: "funny-looking […] like a bowling pin about to tip over" (10.10-11), as well as fat and balding. Plus, as Aunt Casey tells Miracle, "He leers at you like he's the Big Bad Wolf come to eat Granny and her Little Red Riding Hood" (10.18). To recap, then, the guy looks like a taller, more misshapen version of George Costanza and may or may not be a pedophile. Yep. Sounds like a winner to us.

Eugene does, however, have one absolutely stellar quality that Gigi surely considered as she sized him up for a potential husband: Dude is loaded. And because he and all his dollars marry Gigi and whisk her off to Tennessee, effectively getting her out of Miracle's life, we probably have him to thank for Miracle's recovery in a small way—a very small way.