And Patty was undeniably very into her son. Thought Jessica was the more obvious credit to her parents – smitten with books, devoted to wildlife, not so pretty as to be morally deformed by it, admired even by Merrie Paulsen – Joey was the child Patty could not shut up about. In her chuckling, confiding, self-deprecating way, she spilled out barrel after barrel of unfiltered detail about her and Walter's difficulties with him. Most of her stories took the form of complaints, and yet nobody doubted that she adored the boy. She was like a woman bemoaning her gorgeous boyfriend. As if she were proud of having her heart trampled by him: as if her openness to this trampling were the main thing, maybe the only thing, she cared to have the world know about. (1.1.10)
Wow guys, doesn't Jessica sound awesome? We'd really like to hang out with her. In fact, we'd like to call the Berglund house, and Patty would pick up the phone, and she'd be like, "Oh, would you like to talk to Joey?" And we'd say, "No, actually, we're calling for Jessica." And she's say, "Wait, Jessica, really?" Then we'd say, "Yes, Jessica." And she'd say, "Oh, I'm sorry, Jessica's not here; she's out saving orphans. Can I take a message?" We'd say, "Yes, please tell her that she's much cooler than Joey, and that Joey is lame for being so mean to his mother just for loving him too much. Oh, also ask her if she did the biology homework, and if she can help us with question five. Thanks! Bye."