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Memories and the Past
There are plenty of times when we can't remember what we had for breakfast the other day. (And this will keep happening until we turn to Soylent and give up food forever.) So needless to say, we can't imagine what it would be like to remember past lives. In Life After Life, Ursula doesn't really know what that's like either, though. She has strange echoes of the past, but she's never quite sure if she's remembering past lives or not, even though we know she is. But just like regular memories, these echoes of the past shape Ursula's present and future.
Ursula never knows for sure that she's being reincarnated, she can only assume she is and act on her strange memories accordingly.
Sometimes Ursula's memories get crossed—for instance, she remembers meeting Hitler in a life where she hasn't—but this only seems to happen when she is near death and everything bleeds together.
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