Looking for Alaska Intimacy, Sex, and Love

The Colonel on dating Sara, ladies and gents. How much of their relationship continuing happens just because they are used to each other? How does theirs differ from other relationships in the story? How much do you think the Colonel is influenced by his parents's relationship?

Miles wants to say three little words to Alaska, but she shoves him away. "Don't ruin it." What is there to ruin? What would happen if Miles busted out the L word with her?

The "she" here is Edna St. Vincent Millay, who did actually have a lot of sex. But she also wrote some pretty great poems and was an active feminist… sort of like Alaska. You may find it useful to read up on Millay if she's Alaska's hero.

Focus on the sentence, "It didn't matter." What didn't matter? Why is the sexual experience with Lara unfulfilling but simply kissing with Alaska is beyond Miles's wildest dreams? And what's the significance of him saying the three words he couldn't say before? And the fact that he doesn't say them when she's awake?

Check out the language here. "Dancing" and "intertwined" are much more poetic and passionate than the language Miles uses about Lara. And the writing is much more fluid and less choppy, too. Kissing is different with Alaska than with Lara. Why?

Miles isn't very comfortable with Lara; he focuses on how they don't really talk, but she's really cute. Think back to Miles's thoughts when he and Lara made out in the barn—he thought he was the greatest kisser, but she thought he was slobbering on her nose. What does this say about people's perspectives of intimacy?

This happens right after Miles's first sexual experience with a girl. Note the words "embarrassed" and "nervous," and also the fact that the two characters still don't know how to talk to one another. Keep this in mind when reading the next quote.

Ah, yes—this is a good time to think about what love is to Miles. He says he loves Alaska, he pursues her throughout his time at the Creek, but the question arises: does he really love her, or does he love parts of her, or does he love an Alaska who doesn't exist?

(Reminder: Pudge equals Miles.) These harsh truths are from the mouth of the Colonel, of course. Maybe Miles needs other people to tell him truths he could never admit to himself. And we have to say, we're inclined to trust the Colonel's analysis here… How about you?

Okay, now we're getting somewhere. Miles is starting to have some pretty important realizations about his relationship with Alaska, the intimacy he thought he had with her, and his acceptance of her death. As the Old Man said, 'Everything that comes together falls apart.' How does this relate to what Miles is thinking?

And yet Miles finds the strength to realize that the mystery of Alaska and her death don't stop him from loving her. We have to think about how Miles's perception of love and his view of intimacy have changed throughout the novel.