Read the full text of The Merry Wives of Windsor Act 3 Scene 4 with a side-by-side translation HERE.
Outside Master Page's house, Anne and dreamy Fenton get cozy and talk about their future together.
Fenton is bummed out that Anne's dad hates him and won't let him marry his daughter.
Fenton tells Anne that her dad doesn't like him because he thinks he's a spoiled brat who wasted all his money and wants to marry Anne because she's rich. Plus, Master Page isn't crazy about Fenton's misspent youth.
Hmm, Master Page might have a point.
Fenton confesses that, yeah, at first, he only wanted Anne for her dough but now that he's gotten to know her, he's fallen in love.
Fenton swears up and down that he loves Anne for herself and thinks she's worth much more than a giant bag of "gold."
Anne encourages Fenton to take another crack at her dad. Who knows? Maybe Master Page will change his mind. (Yeah, right.)
Just then, Slender, Shallow, and Mistress Quickly show up: Slender wants to talk to Anne.
We find out that Master Page wants Anne to marry Slender because Slender's loaded.
Mistress Quickly distracts Fenton as Slender tries to flirt with Anne.
Slender has zero game with the ladies, so Shallow tries to help him out. He says Anne will be living large if she marries Slender.
Plus, if he dies, she gets a big widow's pension.
Anne is not impressed. She warns Shallow that he should let Slender "woo for himself."
Fed up, Anne confronts Slender and asks him what he wants from her.
Slender says "I would little or nothing with you" (translation: he doesn't actually want anything from her), and points out that Anne's dad and his uncle are the ones who want him to marry her.
See? We told you Slender's got no game.
Master and Mistress Page show up and get mad when they see Fenton.
Master Page tells Fenton to scram and says he'll never let Anne marry him.
When Master Page leaves, Mistress Quickly tells Fenton to talk to Anne's mom.
He does, telling her how much he loves her daughter, and Anne pipes in with "Please don't marry me off to a fool." (That would be Slender).
Mistress Page says she won't. She has her eye on Doctor Caius.
Anne says she'd rather be buried alive than marry that guy.
Mistress Page orders Fenton to go home and takes Anne inside the house, promising to ask who she does want to marry.
Mistress Quickly gives us a little aside that she likes Fenton the best, but she's still going to help out all of Anne's suitors.
Because why? Oh, why not. She's probably getting money and trinkets from them all.
Then Mistress Quickly runs off to relay a message to Falstaff from Mistress Ford and Mistress Page.