She had a perpetual sense, as she watched the taxi cabs, of being out, out, far out to sea and alone; she always had the feeling that it was very, very dangerous to live even one day. (1.15)
Clarissa has two very different mindsets: one is her belief in beauty and life’s precious moments, and the other (deep beneath that) is a fear of death and isolation. This second feeling she holds deep inside, but it’s always there.
It rasped her, though, to have stirring about in her this brutal monster! to hear twigs cracking and feel hooves planted down in the depths of that leaf-encumbered forest, the soul. (1.22)
Clarissa tries to control her feelings of deep hatred for Miss Kilman. She doesn’t want Miss Kilman to get the better of her by showing that she’s affected by her – but, of course, she is.