Minor Characters in The Earth, My Butt, and Other Big Round Things

Minor Characters

Brie Newhart

One of the popular girls, a.k.a. the Bri-girls, who wears purple boots from Paris and always wins the Model Brewster Student award. She's secretly suffering from an eating disorder.

Brinna Livingston

Another of the Bri-girls.

Briar Schwartz

Yet another Bri-girl. They're kind of interchangeable.

Ms. Crowley

Virginia's cool language arts teacher, who allows her to come in during lunch period and grade papers. Ms. Crowley is also heavy—and knows students call her Ms. Cowley—but doesn't care.

Mademoiselle Kiefer

The evil French teacher who refers to Virginia as la vierge, or the virgin.

Mr. Moony

The ancient geometry teacher who sings songs about all his students and dies of a heart attack near the end of the book.

Nurse Paul

The school nurse, who overcompensates for his male-nurse status by freely writing get-out-of-gym passes for girls with menstrual cramps.

Alyssa Wu

The new friend Virginia makes at the end of the book, a fiendish knitter, and the co-founder of Earthquack.

Hamster Boy (Shawn)

Byron's friend at Columbia who asks if he's going to the Virgins and Sluts party. After Annie's rape, Hamster Boy stops by the Shreves' place to get a DVD back from Byron, accompanied by (and obviously dating) the girl Byron likes.