Study Guide

The Unbearable Lightness of Being Part 4, Chapter 8

By Milan Kundera

Part 4, Chapter 8

The narrator defines flirtation as leading another to believe that sex is possible while at the same time preventing that possibility from becoming a certainty.
When Tereza works behind the bar, the men flirt with her, Yet it doesn't bother her.
On the contrary, she wants to expose her body to that "undertow" (4.8.2).
Tomas is always trying to convince her that love and sex are two different things.
She now wonders what it would be like to have sex with the men who flirt with her at the bar.
The narrator clarifies; it's not that she wants to take revenge on Tomas; it's just that she wants to "learn lightness," so as to be less of a burden to Tomas (4.8.4).
But flirting doesn't come naturally to Tereza.
Instead, she studies it seriously, and in doing so, deprives it of its lightness.
She doesn't understand how to suggest sex without promising it, and she ends up giving everyone the impression that she's easy.
When men try honestly and are turned down, they think she's a tease.

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