I could not imagine why she had chosen Idaho. I thought perhaps she had opened an atlas and pointed a finger at any old spot, but later I learned that she had a cousin in Lewiston, Idaho. "I haven't seen her for fifteen years," my mother said, "and that's good because she'll tell me what I'm really like."
"I could tell you that, Sugar," my father said.
"No, I mean before I was a wife and a mother. I mean <em>underneath</em>, where I am Chanhassen." (23.6-8)
It seems like Chanhassen can only identify as a wife and a mother, and not as a human being with her own personality, hopes, and dreams. But what is identity if not who you are to your loved ones? What else is there? What do you think?