"Wherefore art thou zombie?" Julie asks. Okay, not really, but she does ask "What's in a name?" (2.2.58).
She's talking to her tape recorder (which she really should have named "Sally"), but she gets mad and chucks it off the balcony. R secretly puts it in his pocket, then calls out Julie's name.
Julie sees R and runs downstairs to meet him. She wonders if she kisses him, would she get infected?
Before she can find out, the patrol comes by, and she has to sneak R inside.
She introduces him to her friend Nora and shows him the stolen art in her room: Salvador Dali. Yeah, we're guessing museum security is not a priority when zombies are on the loose.
Nora can't believe how Living R looks, but she wonders if he can wean himself off his living food diet. He says he can.
As they lay down for bed, R and Julie talk about how they really want to change the world. If only they could figure out how...
More Perry time. He overhears a tense conversation between Julie and her dad about her mom leaving. Julie comes downstairs and they go to Colonel Rosso's house.
Perry tells Rosso that his dad died in a construction accident: "No battle, no noble sacrifice" (2.3.22).
Rosso tells him about The Epic of Gilgamesh,"a journey to find eternal life" (2.3.37). He says that you can keep people alive by remembering them, but Perry doesn't want to remember.
R wakes up and tells Julie he wants to see the city. So they wash his clothes, give him a quick makeover and take him out on the town.
Because we haven't had enough death talk in this book, Julie takes R to the graveyard where her mom (or the pieces of her they could find) are buried.
She tells R that one day, mom just ran out of the house, out of the stadium, and got devoured in the wild.
Before they leave the cemetery, R sees a familiar grave (could it be Perry's?) and falls into another vision.
We're taken back to Perry's last day alive. He's put in charge of his first scouting mission, and he intends it to be his last.
Things are complicated when Col. Rosso tells him that Julie and Nora have signed up. Guess it won't be the suicide mission he was hoping for.
The vision shifts to R's jet plane, except this time it's flying. Perry warns R that something bad is coming.
R wakes up in the graveyard, and something bad comes: Julie's dad.
She introduces R to her dad as Archie, Nora's boyfriend.
After that tense encounter, it's time for a drink. Off to the bar.
The Orchard isn't a hardcore kind of bar. Prohibition is in full swing in this stadium, so it's a juice bar.
Julie's not one for rules, so she ducks out to spike their drinks. Meanwhile, Nora tells R that Julie really likes him. He has "some of that same... sparkle [Perry]had when he was younger" (2.6.28). Zombies sparkle now? No wonder Stephenie Meyer loves this book.
R confesses that he ate Perry's brain, and Nora's not surprised. She says that Julie would probably forgive him.
She's big on forgiveness. The girl that Perry cheated on her with, that was Nora.
Julie returns and they have a few stiff drinks. Then R experiences an unfamiliar feeling for a zombie: he has to pee.
In the bathroom, he stares at his "mythical instrument of life and death" (2.6.61). Wow, someone has a high opinion of his own manhood.
After a quick tinkle, R returns to the bar. He feels really dizzy and drunk, so he goes outside for some fresh air... and to listen to Julie's audio diary. Yes, it somehow stayed in his pocket and still works even though Julie chucked it off a balcony and ran that shirt through the washing machine four chapters ago.
Outside, a couple of jerks talk trash about Julie. R knocks them both out and runs...
R feels he has no other choice but to eat the guy. So he takes a nice big bite... then changes his mind. Too late, dude! He runs away.
Julie finds him outside her house. Before they go in, he wants to show her something.
He takes her to the orphanage that Perry grew up in, and confesses that he knows about it because he ate Perry's brain.
She forgives him. Awwww…?
Just as R is about to spill the brains that he ate the guard, a stadium-wide alert goes up. Security breach.
R tells her what happened, and she realizes she has to get him out of there.
However, they fall asleep before they can think of a plan. Feel the urgency!
The phone rings, and Julie wakes up to get it. She passes it to R. "It's for you" (2.7.36).
It's M. He's outside, and he's amassed a whole army of changing zombies. He thinks that Julie can help them complete the process, so R decides they need to go outside and meet them.
They take another nap first. Seriously. We guess all this not coming up with a plan is exhausting.
In the morning, there's an announcement: the security breach has been contained, but the zombie who did it is still on the loose.
While security searches all houses, all the citizens are supposed to gather in the open. We have no idea why this is a good idea.
Before R, Nora, and Julie can escape, Julie's dad comes home. He grills "Archie" about his relationship with Nora, where he's from, etc.
Then he stabs R in the shoulder. Ouch. Well, since he's a zombie, it doesn't hurt.
An argument breaks out about saving R. Julie is pro, obviously, her dad is con.
General Grigio presses his gun against R's forehead, but Julie slices him with a knife, knocking the gun to the ground.
Nora grabs it and holds Major Dad at gunpoint, giving Julie and R an opportunity to make a break for it.
At the edge of the stadium, they run up eight flights of stairs and open a door they find. That's about as smart as going out this dooreight stories above the ground.
Julie almost falls out. Then Rosso shows up and demands that Julie hand over R.
Instead, R grabs Julie and leaps backwards out the door to nowhere. They plummet to the ground and his dead body cushions her fall. Good thing he's well preserved.
As they run, R realizes that he might actually be healing. Weird.
They run toward M's army, but they're pursued by Rosso in a Chevy Tahoe: "You can't save the world by yourself!" he shouts (2.7.231).
But R and Julie have a whole army with them, so they're going to try.
This whole saving the world thing might be a little easier if they had a plan. R and Julie decide to go back to the airport and, we don't know, brainstorm?
Problem: M says they can't go back because the Boneys are furious.
On cue, armies of Boneys arrive and it all hits the fan.
R and Julie decide to lead the Boneys to the stadium where the guards have tons of guns.
Problem #2: The Boneys have already taken over. The armed guards are outnumbered.
They take advantage of the chaos to go back into the stadium and find Nora.
She's hiding in the stadium's skybox because she's wanted for assaulting Major Dad.
Speaking of the devil, Major Dad starts making crazy announcements to the whole stadium about Julie's "tantrum" (2.8.140). Leave it to this guy to embarrass his daughter in the middle of a large-scale zombie assault.
Julie, Nora, and R flee to the roof of the stadium, where Julie says she believes that humans caused the plague themselves. "[We] buried ourselves under greed and hate and whatever other sins we could find until our souls finally hit the rock bottom of the universe" (2.8.170).
Yep, R agrees that must be it. Problem solved! But how do they fix it?
They don't know how to fix it, so they decide to just smooch instead. Not only that, Julie bites R's lip. Never thought you'd see anyone bite a zombie, huh?
Or kiss one, now that we think about it.
After their tongue wresting, something changes. Julie's eyes turn gold for one thing. And they both develop a new scent that "rushes out from [them] like an explosion of pheromones" (2.8.180). Hot. They should figure out how to bottle that.
All the skeletons stop moving. Major Dad doesn't, however, and he pops up on the roof.
Thinking Julie is infected, he orders Rosso to shoot her. When he refuses, Major Dad takes the gun and points it at his own daughter.
Rosso stabs Major Dad in the ankle and he falls right off the stadium.
He slides down the sloped roof, but before he can pull himself back up, a skeleton grabs him.
Major Dad doesn't fight it. He lets the skeleton bite him and pull him over the edge.
On the way down, "his remaining flesh peels away in the wind, dry scraps floating up like ashes, leaving the pale bones underneath" (2.8.219). Yep, he instantly turns into a Boney.
Julie's upset, but it doesn't last long when she realizes that R is bleeding. Actually bleeding, from the little hole in his forehead where Julie stabbed him.