Ma'ahes
Ma'ahes
Imagine there’s a man with a lion’s head standing behind you, with two giant knives in his hands. Sorry to break it to you, but he’s not your imagination: He’s Ma’ahes, the original Avenger, and the biggest, baddest, most brutal god northern Egypt has to offer. (Down south, toward Nubia, there’s another guy just like him called Apedemak. Maybe they’re the same god, but nobody’s got the guts to ask.)
Basic Information
| Name | Ma’ahes, Maa-hes, Maihes (Mihos or Miyeses to the Greeks) |
| Nickname | True Beside Her, Lord of Slaughter, The Punisher, The Red Lord, Son of Sekhmet, Lion-O |
| Sex | Male |
| Current city | Taremu (Leontopolis, modern Tell el Muqdam) or Per-Bast (Bubastis, modern Zagazig) |
Work & Education
| Occupation | I kick butts and take names. (I’m a war god. What do you expect?) |
| Education | Battlefield Earth (the place, not the movie) |
Beliefs
| Political views | Kill ‘em all and let Ra sort ‘em out |
Family & Friends (& Enemies)
| Parents | My mother’s name is Bast. Or it's Sekhmet. Or maybe it's both of them—I don’t know, don’t ask me. My father might be Horus the Elder, or Atum, or Ptah, or Ra. Ugh—don’t ask me about this either. |
| Siblings | Nefertem and sometimes Imhotep are my brothers |
| Children | Snoop Lion (just kidding) |
| Friends | Horus the Younger, Anubis, Montu, Osiris, Horus the Elder, the pharaohs |
| Enemies | Apep (Apophis). I really hate that guy… er, snake… er… Whatever he is, I hate him. |
Relationships
| Relationship status | Single |
| Interested in | War, not love |
Favorites
| Quotations | “Always run from a knife and rush a gun.” – Jimmy Hoffa “You must be willing to protect yourself and what you cherish, no matter what the cost.” – Christopher Paolini in Eragon“The lion and the calf shall lie down together, but the calf won’t get much sleep.”– Woody Allen “I am a champion and you’re gonna hear me roar” – Katy Perry “An army of lions commanded by a deer will never be an army of lions.” – Napoleon Bonaparte |
| Books | Revenge of the Witch (The Last Apprentice) by Joseph Delaney Tom’s a good kid, and Spook is one of my favorite mentors. Aunt Jennifer’s Tigers by Adrienne Rich Why tigers? Why not lions? Ripoff. Titus Andronicus by William Shakespeare Okay, maybe this is going a little too far with the violence. The Lion, The Witch, and the Wardrobe by C.S. Lewis I’d read this to my kids, if I had any. Aslan’s a hero and he doesn’t even need a knife. Marvin K. Mooney Will You Please Go Now! by Dr. Seuss I could’ve kicked him out with a big knife or two. But nobody asked. Grimms' Fairy Tales by the Brothers Grimm Would the Brothers Grimm have written about me if they knew about me? I wonder. Face to Face with Lions (Face to Face With Animals) by Dereck and Beverly Joubert National Geographic: Making me look good for a really long time. Knives and Swords: A Visual History by DK Is this a book, or my holiday shopping list? |
| Music | Can I Kick It? by A Tribe Called Quest Kick it, punch it, stab it… just for starters…? Mack the Knife by Bobby Darin Mmm, knives… And bad people getting them where they deserve. Welcome to the Jungle by Guns N’Roses Life’s tough, baby. You gonna die? The Marines’ Hymn I like all your armed forces anthems, but this one is especially wicked! Hoochie Coochie Man by Muddy Waters I’ll kick your butt with magic, too. Black cat bones are for wusses. Burn by Ellie Goulding Fire’s cool. Bring the knives, too. Demons by Imagine Dragons Show me your demons, and I will eat them all. Kung Fu Fighting by Carl Douglas It was a little bit frightening. For the bad guys. Fight Fire With Fire by Metallica The gods are laughing! Take your last breath. Heartbreaker by Motörhead It won’t be just Apep’s heart I break—watch out, snake boy. |
| Movies | Fight Club I need to ask Mom for a bunk bed. Which means maybe I need to figure out who my mom is. Edward Scissorhands He should’ve tried knives, but I’ll give him credit for creativity. Is there a better way to spend a weekend than watching silly Chuck Norris movies? I don’t think so. Bloodsport Jean-Claude Van Damme is almost as cool as Chuck Norris. Almost. The Scorpion King Just look at all those weapons… House of Flying Daggers Mmm. Daggers. RoboCop I'm old enough to remember the original, but the remake isn't too shabby. Iron Monkey It should be iron lion. Duh. |
| TV Shows | Criminal Minds It’s important to know your enemy. Do you think Marvel’s Agents of S.H.I.E.L.D. would hire me? I wonder. I’m watching Game of Thrones, but only until I can figure out how to get the swords off that Iron Throne. They aren’t killing bad guys on Hell’s Kitchen, but they’re good with knives! |
Activities & Interests
| Likes | Knives Swords Machetes Daggers Pusheen.com |
| Activities | Skateboarding Seeking out evil (and smacking it) Mortal Kombat (I like the fatalities, even if they are only virtual.) Sharpening my blade-like claws Banging my head at metal concerts |
| Interests | Martial arts Military tribunals Criminal justice Desert ecology Endangered species |
| Groups | Ancient Egyptian Gods Egyptian Mythology Lions Clubs International Badass of the Week Knifewerks ArmyAttack! |