BARBARA: Is this a punishment or something? What are we gonna do?
ADAM: We're not completely helpless, Barbara. I've been reading that book and there's a word for people in our situation: ghosts.
These two are about to get their haunt on.
OTHO: I have a feeling there's something very interesting behind this door.
DELIA: Yeah, ghosts, of the people who died in this house and they want us out of here. So let's do them a favor.
Otho might be a bit of a moron when it comes to design, but he's actually rather perceptive when it comes to the supernatural. Delia, meanwhile, hits the nail right on the head without realizing it.
JUNO: Okay, have you been studying the manual?
ADAM: Well, we tried.
JUNO: The intermediate interface chapter on haunting says it all. Get them out yourselves. It's your house. Haunted houses aren't easy to come by.
BARBARA: Well, we don't quite get it.
JUNO: I heard. Tore your faces right off. It obviously doesn't do any good to pull your heads off in front of people if they can't see you.
ADAM: We should start more simply then?
JUNO: Start simply, do what you know, use your talents, practice. You should've been studying those lessons since day one.
We thought scaring a bunch of Manhattanites would be child's play, but apparently it takes a whole lot of work. Adam and Barbara are gonna need to crack the books to get rid of the Deetzes.
LYDIA: Are you the guys hiding out in the attic?
ADAM: We're ghosts!
LYDIA: What do you look like under there?
ADAM: Aren't you scared?
LYDIA: I'm not scared of sheets. Are you gross under there? Are you Night of the Living Dead under there? Like all bloody veins and pus?
ADAM: Night of the what?
LYDIA: Living Dead. It's a movie.
BARBARA: You know, if I had seen a ghost at your age I would have been scared out of my wits.
LYDIA: You're not gross. Why are you wearing sheets?
BARBARA: We're practicing.
ADAM: You can see us without the sheets?
LYDIA: Of course I can see you.
ADAM: Well, how is it that you see us and nobody else can?
LYDIA: I read through that Handbook for the Recently Deceased. It says, "Live people ignore the strange and unusual." I myself am strange and unusual.
We guess ghosts are much less frightening when they look like they stepped out of Laura Ashley and Gap catalogs.
BERNARD: Otho, I didn't realize you were into the supernatural.
OTHO: Well, of course! You remember, after my stint with the Living Theatre. I was one of New York City's leading paranormal researchers, until the bottom dropped out in '72.
BERYL: Paranormal? Is that what they're calling your kind these days?
OTHO: Don't mind her. She's still upset, because somebody dropped a house on her sister.
Otho seems to follow whatever trend is hot at the moment whether it's the paranormal or the decorating biz.
LYDIA: I saw some ghosts.
DELIA: It's a little private joke that Lydia and I share.
LYDIA: It's not a joke.
DELIA: Yes, it is. Just today she tried to convince me this house is haunted. Kids! You know, I love them!
GRACE: By ghosts?
DELIA: In designer sheets, no less […].
OTHO: Now, Lydia, favor us about your ghosts.
DELIA: No. I am sick of that subject.
OTHO: Oh, Delia, lighten up.
DELIA: I would rather talk about... Day-O!
Delia doesn't want to scare of her classy guests. She doesn't know yet how much they're going to enjoy this haunted dinner party.
CHARLES: It was like being in an amusement park. Wham!
GRACE: I didn't even know I could do the Calypso.
DELIA: Who has more fun than us?
OTHO: We're dealing with Tracy and Hepburn here. A very sophisticated pair. I mean, they even appear in sheets.
GRACE: But Charles, what I wanna know is why didn't you tell us about this before?
DELIA: Well, we're not sure we want our little secret out. I mean, everyone's gonna want them for their parties.
CHARLES: People will pay big money for this, right, Grace?
BERYL: The Enquirer is offering $50,000 for proof of life after death.
DELIA: Fifty thousand?
OTHO: This is it, Charles. You can get Maxie Dean up here now.
CHARLES: You think so?
OTHO: Sarah loves the supernatural. She'll have him sprint up here in his helicopter if you can produce ghosts for her.
We guess the bottom didn't drop out of the paranormal market after all. Right now Charles and Delia see dollar signs and that's all that matters.
DELIA: This was not a hallucination. This was real. We all just experienced a very super-powerful, paranormal experience, and it was real.
BERNARD: Delia, you are a flake. You have always been a flake. If you insist on frightening people, do it with your sculpture.
Didn't we tell you Delia's sculptures were the scariest thing in the film?
OTHO: Oh, you family types, you got other things to worry about. Maxie Dean's coming up here tonight. You've got to figure out a way to sell these ghosts. I can only do so much.
CHARLES: What are you gonna do, Otho? Viciously rearrange their environment?
OTHO: I know just as much about the supernatural as I do about interior design.
This worries us.
DELIA: What's happening to them?
OTHO: I don't know.
LYDIA: They're dying!
MAXIE: No, they're not. They're already dead. They can't feel a thing.
LYDIA: That's not true! Look at them!
CHARLES: All right, that's enough now. Can you stop this? Otho?
OTHO: It's too late, Charles. I'm sorry.
This moment actually breaks down our characters pretty perfectly as we see their reactions what's happening. Delia and Charles are starting to panic. Maybe this whole thing actually was a bad idea? Lydia is horrified at what's happening to her friends. But Maxie Dean seems to be enjoying their suffering or else doesn't really care (hey, they're already dead, right?). And Otho realizes for the first time that he's totally in over his head.