Study Guide

Deadpool Weasel and Blind Al (T. J. Miller and Leslie Uggams)

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Weasel and Blind Al (T. J. Miller and Leslie Uggams)

You know the old saying: Behind every super hero, there's a dorky bartender and a blind senior citizen.

What? Like we're the only ones who've ever heard that chestnut before?

Weasel and Blind Al are Wade's support system. They're minor characters, but each has Wade's back, albeit in their own unique way. As a BFF, Weasel's best attribute is the fact that he can sling shots of realism just as fast as he can tequila. When Wade shows up, fresh from the Weapon X workshop, cancer-free(!) but disfigured and feeling sorry for himself, Weasel cuts through the self-pity and gets practical:

WEASEL: Yeah, well you gotta do something to remedy this because as of now, you only have one course of action.
WADE: Damn straight. Find Francis.
WEASEL: Star in horror films.

When Wade rejects that idea, it's Weasel who quickly brainstorms the basic tenets of Deadpool's revenge plot:

WEASEL: …But the douchebag does think you're dead, right?
WADE: Yeah
WEASEL: That's good. You should keep it that way.
WADE: What, like wear a mask?
WEASEL: Yes. A very thick mask. All the time. I am sorry. You are…haunting. Your face is the stuff of nightmares.
WADE: Like a testicle with teeth.
WEASEL: You will die alone. I mean, if you could die. Ideally, for others' sake.
WADE: That'll do.

Weasel's help may be tempered by near-constant insults, but that doesn't make his advice any less useful. He's a smart aleck who cares. It's Weasel who points out how warm-blooded Wade is for a mercenary. He tries to substitute immune system-boosting wheat grass shots for Wade's usual Patrón, too.

When Wade needs to round up all the weapons and ammunition he can for his shipyard showdown with Ajax, Weasel helps with that, too. Then he doesn't mince words about the fact that he has zero intent of accompanying Wade into battle:

WEASEL: Wade, I'd go with you, but I don't want to.

While Weasel aids Wade by keeping things real, Blind Al supports Wade by letting him vent. Like Weasel, she also delights in giving Wade a hard time, and he gives it right back. Check out this exchange that goes down when Wade returns to their shared apartment, minus the hand he cut off to escape Colossus after Ajax escaped:

BLIND AL: Why such a douche this morning?
DEADPOOL: Let's recap. The cock thistle that turned me into this freak slipped through my arms today.
Deadpool pauses and looks at his missing hand.DEADPOOL: Arm. Catching him was only chance to be hot again, get my super sexy ex back, and prevent this s*** from happening to someone else.

At times, these two bicker like an old married couple. We mean, it's not any married couple we've ever met, but there's an honest easiness to their relationship that illustrates their closeness. Wade and Blind Al lean on each other, sometimes literally.

These unlikely roommates give each the support they need to recover from yet another confrontation with their respective nemeses: for him, a sadistic scientist; for her, a sadistic shelf from IKEA.

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