VANESSA: Rougher than yours. Daddy left before I was born.
WADE: Daddy left before I was conceived.
VANESSA: Ever had a cigarette put out on your skin?
WADE: Where else do you put one out?
VANESSA: I was molested.
WADE: Me too. Uncle.
VANESSA: Uncles. They took turns.
WADE: I watched my own birthday party through the keyhole of a locked closet, which also happens to be my—
VANESSA: Your bedroom. Lucky. I slept in a dishwasher box.
WADE: (Gasps) You had a dishwasher. I didn't even know sleep. It was pretty much 24/7 ball gags, brownie mix, and clown porn.
VANESSA: Who would do such a thing?
WADE: Hopefully you, later tonight?
Wade and Vanessa have a, uh, unconventional way of flirting. As a mercenary and a prostitute, they've seen some stuff. They may be exaggerating and downright lying here, but they've both undoubtedly been through a lot, and it bonds them together, right off the bat.
DEADPOOL: Here's the thing: Life is an endless series of train-wrecks with only brief, commercial-like breaks of happiness. This had been the ultimate commercial break, which meant it was time to return to our regularly scheduled program.
Gee, could Deadpool be any more of a nihilist? He thinks life is a meaningless sludge through suffering. That allows him to take risks, ignore the established law and order, and make his own rules—all from behind the safety of his cynical, sarcastic mask.
WADE: Listen, we both know that cancer is a s***-show. Like, a Yakov-Smirnoff-opening-for-the-Spin-Doctors-at-the-Iowa-State-Fair s***-show. And under no circumstances will I take you to that show. I want you to remember me, not the Ghost of Christmas Me.
ANESSA: Well, I wanna remember us.
WADE: I swear to God I will find you in the next life, and I'm gonna boom-box "Careless Whisper" outside your window. Wham!
VANESSA: No one is boom-boxing s***, okay? We can fight this. Besides, I just realized something. You win. Your life is officially way more f***ed up than mine.
WADE: I love you.
There are a couple of things to unpack here. First, Wade's whole "I want you to peace out so you can remember me this way" thing isn't chivalrous; it's actually pretty selfish. Vanessa loves him and wants to be with him; Wade's worried about a loss of dignity. That's why she points out that she wants to remember "us;" Wade may have the cancer, but he's not the only person in their relationship.
The second half of this exchange is a callback to Wade and Vanessa's first conversation, when they tried to out-suffer each other with talk of AWOL dads and sleeping in dishwasher boxes. When Vanessa concedes that Wade has won, it's a reminder both to Wade and to the audience that he and Vanessa are in this together, if he'll let her in.
WADE: The worst part about cancer isn't what it does to you, but what it does to the people you love. Who knew if this guy could save my life, but I knew there was only one way that I could save hers. Isn't that what superheroes do?
Wade thinks returning to Vanessa will save her life. We have no doubt that he loves her, but that's pretty gutsy to think that her life is destroyed without him.
AJAX: Oh, joke away. One thing that never survives this place is a sense of humor.
WADE: We'll see about that.
AJAX: I suppose we will.
Oh, we know Wade's sense of humor is going to survive. That's one of his chief methods of dealing with suffering. Also, this quote's from a flashback, so…
AJAX: I've cured you, Wade. Now your mutated cells can heal anything. It's attacking your cancer as fast as it can form. Yeah, I've seen similar side effects before. I could cure them, but where's the fun in that? Now, I'm gonna shut you in again, Wade; not because I need to—because I want to.
See, Ajax is what we'd call a sadist. He enjoys watching Wade suffer. Maybe it's because he can't feel anything. Maybe it's because he's a terrible, awful mutant man.
WADE: No way. I'm not making her life as ugly as mine.
Throughout the movie it's unclear why Wade thinks his presence, post-mutation, in Vanessa's life would be disastrous for her. He seems to suggest that it's solely because he's not as easy on the eyes as he was before, which is a pretty insulting assumption if you're Vanessa.
WADE: Better find her fast before numb-nuts does.
WEASEL: How do you know she's in here?
WADE: Because I'm constantly stalking that fox.
This is what we're talking about when we say that at least some of Wade's suffering is self-inflicted. He's torturing himself by following Vanessa around and coming this close to her without ever talking to her.
DEADPOOL: You were right, beautiful. Red really is my color.
DEADPOOL: Don't worry, baby. I'mma get you out of that s***-box.
AJAX: What better way to crawl back inside that head of yours.
DEADPOOL: Oh, you never left.
VANESSA: But you did, asshole!
Turns out Deadpool isn't the only one's who's been suffering, and he seemingly never takes a minute to see things from her perspective. Vanessa's cancer-stricken fiancé walked out on her in the middle of the night and presumably died. Now he's back?? Girl's got a right to be seriously ticked off.