Study Guide

Deadpool Summary

Deadpool Summary

Wade Wilson is a New York City mercenary—a.k.a. he roughs up bad guys for a quick and relatively easy buck. At his favorite bar, Sister Margaret's School for Wayward Girls, he meets a prostitute named Vanessa and they strike up a relationship. Shortly after Wade and Vanessa get engaged, Wade is diagnosed with late-stage cancer. He leaves Vanessa in the middle of the night, claiming that it's to spare her from the pain of his cancer battle.

That night at Sister Margaret's, Wade's friend (and bartender) Weasel tells Wade that there's a mysterious recruiter waiting for him. The recruiter says that the people he works for will not only cure Wade's cancer, but also turn him into a superhero. Wade initially declines on the grounds that heroism isn't his cup of tea, but later changes his mind.

Bring on the super powers.

Wade is rolled into a grimy workshop on a gurney, home to a project known as Weapon X. Ajax is in charge, and he explains that he's going to stress Wade until it either kills him or activates his dormant mutant DNA, which will bring any extraordinary abilities Wade might have to the forefront, as well as cure his cancer. As Ajax tortures Wade, it becomes clear that Ajax is a sadist and his motives are uh, murky.

After several days of torture, Wade's mutant DNA is triggered. It cures his cancer and mutant abilities…but also leaves him horribly disfigured. Ajax decides to torture Wade further, just because he can. After Ajax leaves, Wade sets the building on fire in order to escape and pursues Ajax. Ajax manages to hold Wade off by promising that he can fix his face; then he impales Wade on a post in the burning building and leaves him to die.

Except Wade doesn't die.

One of his mutant abilities is regeneration. Now, it's nearly impossible for him to die, and he has a single mission: Find Ajax. To cover his gnarly appearance, Wade fashions a costume, including a full mask, and reinvents himself as Deadpool. He moves into an apartment with an elderly woman named Blind Al, and begins working his way through Ajax's organization, trying to track down Ajax. All the while, Wade doesn't tell Vanessa that he's alive for fear of her reaction when she sees his new look.

After killing several of Ajax's low-level thugs, Deadpool meets the recruiter again, and he tells Deadpool where to find Ajax. Deadpool intercepts their convoy as they charge down the highway, causing a massive collision and maximum carnage. Colossus sees this on the news, and he and his protégé, Negasonic Teenage Warhead, travel to the scene of the accident to apprehend Deadpool—and recruit him for the X-Men. While Colossus gives Deadpool his pitch, Ajax escapes from Deadpool. Deadpool then escapes from Colossus.

Ajax goes to Sister Margaret's and spots a photo of Wade and Vanessa that Weasel tacked up behind the bar. Ajax then kidnaps Vanessa and takes her to an abandoned shipyard that boasts a massive, decaying ship. Aided by Colossus and Negasonic Teenage Warhead, Deadpool battles Ajax, who's backed up by his right-hand woman, Angel Dust, and a team of armed thugs. Deadpool and Ajax face off once again, and when Deadpool has Ajax down for the count, Ajax reveals that there's no cure for Deadpool's disfigurement; he was lying the whole time. Just as Deadpool is about to kill Ajax, Colossus tells him not to; he urges Deadpool to make the heroic decision to spare Ajax's life. Deadpool shoots Ajax in the head.

Lastly, Deadpool has to deal with Vanessa. She's more than a little bit ticked that her fiancé has been alive this whole time without telling her. Deadpool removes his mask, and while Vanessa is taken aback by his appearance at first, she quickly tells Wade she doesn't care, and that she'll get used to it. They make out amidst the rubble while Deadpool plays Wham's "Careless Whisper" on his phone.

  • Scene 1

    Scene 1

    • These opening credits aren't like any we've ever seen before. For starters, they're all taking place as we pan across the elements of a frozen fight scene—like a car on fire in mid-air, coffee in mid-spill, and a car's cigarette lighter whizzing by some poor dude's face.
    • These credits also don't use the real names of the cast and crew. It's "Some Douchebag's film," for example, starring "God's perfect idiot." That would be Ryan Reynold's, whose People magazine "Sexiest Man Alive" cover is part of the fight's detritus. Sick burn, "Some Douchebag."
    • Oh, look. "A hot chick" and "a British villain" are in this movie, too. That uber-earnest early '80s pop song in the background is "Angel of the Morning" by Juice Newton.
    • Cut to Deadpool riding in the back of a cab. He shoves a brochure for a Segway tour in his utility belt, sticks his hand out the window, and pulls some gum off the ceiling. He's bored.
    • Deadpool crawls through the partition and sits up front with the cab driver, Dopinder. He spots a photo of a pretty woman. Dopinder explains that it's Gita. He loves her, but her heart's been stolen by his cousin. Deadpool tells Dopinder not to let true love get away.
    • Dopinder asks Deadpool what the deal is with the red suit. Deadpool tells him it's because it's Christmas Day, and he's after someone on his "naughty list."
    • Cut to Ajax in a parking lot surrounded by a caravan of SUVs and motorcycles. A helicopter lands, and its passenger disembarks. Ajax has a large crate of…well…something to give him. We don't know what's in there, but, based on their back-and-forth, it's something for waging war. We're going to guess weapons of some kind. It's definitely not a big crate full of grilled cheese sandwiches.
    • Ajax tells his business associate that next month's shipment is going to be delayed. When the man protests, Ajax grabs him by the neck and lifts him several feet in the air. The man stops complaining.
    • Ajax and the would-be warlord part ways, and, as they do, the man curses mutants under his breath. Ajax is a mutant, then. Got it.
    • Back in the cab, Deadpool realizes he forgot his ammo bag. He counts up his bullets—he has a dozen—and decides he can make it. Then he stiffs Dopinder for the fare and wishes him a Merry Christmas before he gets out of the cab.
    • It's not actually Christmas Day, by the way. According to Dopinder, it's just some Tuesday in April. This Deadpool guy may be just a wee bit unhinged.
  • Scene 2

    Scene 2

    • Deadpool sits on the edge of a highway overpass, cars whizzing past behind and beneath him in a series of exchanges. He's coloring a picture of himself beating up a guy named Francis—a picture we saw in the opening credits montage—and listening to "Shoop" by Salt-N-Pepa on a small tape player.
    • We don't know who this Francis is, but if he has anything to do with the fleet of bad guys chasing Deadpool, he can't be up to anything good.
    • Suddenly Deadpool turns to the camera and acts surprised by the fact he has an audience: us. He breaks the fourth wall to address us directly: He's just as surprised as we are that he got his own movie. He also suggests that he had to perform a sexual favor for Hugh Jackman—a.k.a. Marvel Cinematic Universe mainstay Wolverine—in order to get it. G'day then, mate.
    • Deadpool tells us he has a face to fix and bad guys to kill.
    • When he spots an approaching caravan of SUVs, he stands and drops off the edge of the overpass—right through one the sunroof of one of those ominous SUVs.
    • The thugs inside are listening to—yep, you guessed it—"Angel of the Morning." Looks like we're about to see the frozen fight from the opening credits—except, you know, unfrozen.
    • Deadpool fights the men inside the car, quipping all the way. "Rich Corinthian leather," he coos, as a thug shoves his face into the back of the driver's seat.
    • The high-speed combat continues as more SUVs and men on motorcycles pull up alongside Deadpool's SUV. The entire scuffle is brutal and really, really gory. Deadpool burns one thug with the car's cigarette lighter, then shoves it in his mouth. Another thug gets decapitated. Yet another thug slams into a freeway sign so hard that his body is instantly rendered a pile of brisket. Yuck.
    • Even in the middle of such a hellacious blood-and-guts-fest, Deadpool brings the jokes. "S***," he grouses as we see his upside-down SUV fly through the air in slow motion. "Did I leave the stove on?"
    • The SUV hits the ground and skids to a stop.
    • Cut to Xavier's School for Gifted Youngsters, a.k.a. home base for the X-Men. Over breakfast, Colossus watches the new report of the massive collision that Deadpool was involved in. As soon as they mention a guy in a red suit, he knows it's Deadpool, and he seems perturbed.
    • He calls for Negasonic Teenage Warhead, and as they head for the X-Jet together, Colossus complains that he's given Deadpool every opportunity to stop acting like a child and join the X-Men. No dice.
    • Back at the accident site, everything's in chaos. Innocent bystanders run screaming from the cars. Men with automatic weapons approach Deadpool's overturned SUV. He's using it for cover. He waves; they fire.
    • Deadpool tells them to hold up; he only has 12 bullets, so they're going to have to share.
    • Deadpool emerges from behind cover, and everything goes slow-mo once more. He counts down the bullets as he kills bad guy after bad guy. He also gets shot. He sticks his finger all the way through the bullet hole in his forearm. Then we see the wound immediately start closing up. Rock on, regenerative healing powers.
    • Deadpool expends 11 of his 12 bullets, stopping to pose and make wisecracks as he goes. He even throws a little dancing in for good measure.
    • Three more thugs roll up. Deadpool only has one bullet left. He waits for just the right moment, when they're all lined up by their SUV, and then he shoots all three through the head with that final bullet.
    • It's impressive and gory.
    • Unlike most action films, when people get shot in this movie, it makes a splattery, brain mattery mess.
    • Deadpool stops to smell his smoking gun barrels and then literally skips off to find Francis.
    • What's this? The last of the trio Deadpool just shot in the head gets up. He pulls the bullet from his forehead, rolls up his sleeves, and draws two knives. Deadpool whines, then pulls the pair of swords from his back and impales the guy. Freeze frame!
    • As the camera pans across the tableau of Deadpool turning this poor schmuck into a kebab, Deadpool addresses the women in the audience who he thinks probably feel like they got duped into coming to this sophomoric, bloody action flick. He points out two things: First, this may be a super-hero movie, but he's no superhero. Second, this is actually a love story.
    • To tell it right, we need to go back in time. Two years, to be precise.
  • Scene 3

    Scene 3

    • A pizza guy named Jeremy tries to deliver a pizza to a customer named Merchant. Jeremy's thin, pale, and awkward. Merchant is a meathead and insists that he didn't order any pizza. Jeremy, in turn, insists that somebody made the call.
    • Deadpool—or, since he's not Deadpool yet, Wade Wilson—suddenly walks into the living room and says it was him. Merchant is understandably unnerved by the fact that some pizza-loving rando was hiding in his house.
    • Wade's packing a gun and a giant, serrated knife. It turns out he's here for Jeremy, who's been stalking a girl named Meghan. Wade's a mercenary, which means he'll fight or, in this case, intimidate a nerdy pizza guy, if the price is right.
    • After Wade scares the heck out of Jeremy and threatens his life, Jeremy insists that he'll leave Meghan alone. Wade leaves. With his pineapple and olive pizza. Gross.
    • Wade finds Meghan at a skate park. He drops the pizza and a handful of Polaroids of Jeremy—gun to his head and holding a sign that says "I'm sorry"—at Meghan's feet. Wade tells her that Jeremy won't be bothering her anymore, and she says that Wade's her hero. "That I ain't," he counters as he walks away.
    • Wade heads over to Sister Margaret's School for Wayward Girls. It's a grimy bar. Or, as Wade puts it, "It's like a job fair for mercenaries."
    • He returns a gold card with Jeremy the pizza guy's name on it to the bartender, Weasel. He also tells Weasel to let Meghan keep her money. Aw. What a softie.
    • Next, Wade orders a drink and sends it over to a big, burly dude named Buck. He tells the waitress to tell Buck that it's from another big, burly dude named Boothe. Weasel isn't happy.
    • Buck and Boothe fight. Barstools are thrown. Weasel's really not happy. Boothe gets knocked out. Weasel confirms that he's still breathing, and everybody in the bar is audibly bummed.
    • Then we find out why: They have a dead pool. Everybody bets on who they think is going to die next. Wade's money was on Boothe; that's why he sent the drink that started the fight. Weasel had Wade. Wade's offended.
    • Weasel apologizes and explains that he just wanted to win some money. He never wins anything. Womp womp.
    • Wade's not exactly moved by this explanation. He buys the whole bar a round of drinks—although it seems like he might be making Weasel buy them.
    • Just then, Vanessa approaches. Wade thinks she's gorgeous. Buck says he'd hit that and taps her on the butt. Wade starts to chew Buck out, but Vanessa grabs Buck in a, uh, very sensitive place. He apologizes immediately. Clearly, she can take care of herself.
    • Wade's impressed. Then he finds out Vanessa's a prostitute. He asks her if she had a rough childhood, and they try to one-up each other with just how terrible their upbringings were. His bedroom was a closet. Yeah, well, hers was a dishwasher box. In other words, they totally hit it off—albeit in their very weird, very own way that involves competitive suffering.
    • Wade buys 48 minutes of Vanessa's time for $275. Cut to…Skee-ball. He wants to get to know the real her. Also, he's awesome at Skee-ball. After some light, pre-game trash talk, he chucks a ball overhand into one of the holes.
    • Cut to Wade and Vanessa at the rewards counter. He uses his armful of tickets to get a pricey (by arcade ticket standards) Voltron ring. She gets an eraser.
    • His 48 minutes are up. Wade asks what he can get for his Voltron ring. Three minutes, Vanessa says in mock admiration of his rad robot ring.
    • Cut to Wade and Vanessa having sex. They continue having sex through a holiday-based montage that spans from Valentine's Day to Thanksgiving, when Wade tells Vanessa that he loves her. Well, that's one way to advance the story.
    • It's Christmas. Wade and Vanessa are lounging around the apartment. He tells her that they're so good together because her type of crazy matches his type of crazy. We're inclined to agree. Then he proposes with a ring pop. She says yes.
    • Wade's ecstatic. Vanessa starts making Star Wars jokes, and Wade's so happy that he says it's like he made her in a computer. He takes off his clothes and on his way back to bed he passes out.
    • Cut to a doctor's office. Wade has late stage cancer. Oof.
    • While Vanessa starts trying to formulate Plan A, Plan B, and so on with the doctor, Wade stares at her, memorizing her face.
    • Cut back to Deadpool with the thug-kebab—you know, the dude he had skewered on his swords when this whole flashback started. Time unfreezes, and Deadpool finishes the skewering. Now, where can he find Francis, he wonders.
    • Suddenly, a helmeted rider that must be Francis revs the engine on his bike and tries to flee. Deadpool deftly throws one of his swords through Francis's front tire, bringing him down. Then Deadpool starts exacting his revenge, savagely beating Francis up, calling the play-by-play like a sportscaster. At one point, he hits him so hard his helmet flies off.
    • Finally, Deadpool runs Francis through with a sword, impaling him on the wall of the overpass. He takes off his mask to show Francis just who's been wailing on him. Francis laughs.
    • Deadpool tells Francis that he needs to undo what he did to him, i.e., making him look like he was bit by a radioactive Shar-Pei puppy. Francis says Deadpool should thank him; it looks like he made Deadpool immortal. Yes, it does kind of look that way.
    • Deadpool raises his fist once more, and—clang!—he hits Colossus who's standing behind him.
    • Colossus picks up Deadpool by the arm and flings him out of the way like a rag doll.
  • Scene 4

    Scene 4

    • Back at their apartment—and back in time—Wade and Vanessa have an argument. He wants her to leave him before the cancer gets bad so that she'll remember him as he is in that moment. Vanessa says nope; she wants to remember them as an us. Wade tells Vanessa he loves her.
    • They can fight this, she insists. Also, he officially wins: his life is way more messed up than hers. Callback!
    • Cut to Sister Margaret's. Wade walks in and takes a seat at the bar. He looks terrible and tries to order three shots of Patrón. Weasel suggests some wheatgrass instead.
    • Wade tells Weasel about all of the clinics that Vanessa's been contacting. His tone suggests he thinks it's a dumb idea. Weasel hold up a photo of Wade and Vanessa and points out how happy they look in it. Then he asks if he can put the photo up behind the bar to remember what Wade looked like when he was alive. That gets a chuckle out of Wade.
    • Then Weasel slides Wade a black business card with a phone number on it, and only a phone number on it. A shady dude came in looking for Wade, and he's seated at a table on the other side of the bar.
    • Wade takes a seat with the mysterious man in the black suit. His deal is this: He's a recruiter—for what, we don't know, but he knows all about Wade: what an impressive Special Forces soldier he was, how now he sticks up for the little guy, and how he has terminal cancer. He says the organization he works for can not only cure Wade's cancer, they can give him abilities most men only dream of. They can turn him into a legit superhero.
    • Wade reacts about how you expect he would to a strange little man that claims he can cure his cancer and make him Superman. Wade doesn't take the recruiter seriously, and heads back to the bar.
    • When Weasel asks Wade what the man wanted, the look on Wade's face suggests that Wade is actually considering what the man said, though.
    • Cut to Wade and Vanessa's apartment. It's the middle of the night. Sirens wail in the distance. Wade sits by the window, thinking and sniffling.
    • Vanessa wakes up and asks what he's doing. He makes a joke about having a Liam Neeson nightmare and gets back in bed. Vanessa falls back to sleep.
    • Cut to Wade packing a bag. Before he leaves, he takes one last look back at Vanessa, asleep in their bed. Through voice-over, Wade implies that he's leaving Vanessa to spare her the pain of watching him succumb to cancer. Might've been nice to give her a vote, Wade. Just sayin'.
    • The door closes behind Wade, and Vanessa wakes. She touches the empty sheets next to her.
    • Out on the street, as he walks away from home, Wade makes a phone call. We're pretty sure he's not ordering another pineapple and olive pizza.
  • Scene 5

    Scene 5

    • We cut back to Deadpool in the present, mid-Colossus-fling. Colossus explains to Deadpool that he and Negasonic Teenage Warhead have come to apprehend both Deadpool and Francis. Deadpool's not into it.
    • Colossus persists. He wants Deadpool to act like a superhero, do the right thing, and join the X-Men. Deadpool unleashes a tirade of insults aimed at the X-Men that essentially boils down to another big, fat "Nope."
    • While Deadpool and Colossus go back and forth, we see Francis start removing the sword that, truth be told, really should've killed him by now. Then we hear his motorcycle rev, and he's gone. Deadpool's ticked.
    • Deadpool tries to take his anger out on Colossus. Each time he hits the imposing man of steel (not that Man of Steel), he injures himself. Badly. By the end of the "fight," Deadpool's suffered a host of badly broken bones and damage joints. Colossus handcuffs Deadpool to himself and drags him away the way a toddler might drag his teddy bear around the living room.
    • Before Colossus and Negasonic Teenage Warhead can take Deadpool away, presumably to the X-Jet, Deadpool cuts off his own hand and escapes. He dives into a passing garbage truck on the highway below, leaving Colossus holding his self-amputated hand, middle finger outstretched.
  • Scene 6

    Scene 6

    • Deadpool lies in the back of the garbage truck, minus one hand. He's at his rock bottom, he tells us, and explains that when your life gets to the point that it's super-messed-up, it can usually be traced back to one tremendously bad decision.
    • Cut to Wade being wheeled through a grimy medical facility on a hospital bed. He passes the recruiter from Sister Margaret's who's glad to see that Wade has changed his mind. Wade tells him to take good care of him so he can take good care of someone else. It's a pretty safe assumption that he means Vanessa.
    • As Wade is wheeled away, he passes a variety of scary and/or seriously distraught people. One woman has a bunch of horns coming out of her back. He hears screaming and the sound of a man being choked.
    • Wade comes to a stop and the, for lack of a better word, orderlies tie him to his bed using thick leather restraints. He's gagged. Then he's greeted by none other than Francis, only Francis says his name is Ajax. Say what now?
    • Ajax explains what's going on, kind of. He's the guy who runs this workshop. This isn't a government program; it's Weapon X, a private program that turns people into super-humans, and it's going to hurt. A lot.
    • Deadpool won't stop cracking jokes, and this annoys Ajax's imposing right-hand woman something fierce. Her name is Angel Dust, and she's always chewing on an unlit match. How tough.
    • Wade is gagged and injected with a serum that'll bring any mutant DNA he might have to the forefront. Ajax and Angel Dust were both patients there, too, once. It made Angel Dust super-strong. It made Ajax's reflects quicker and scorched his nerve endings so he no longer feels pain. In fact, he says, he no longer feels anything. Then he just stares at Wade for a beat. Um, creepy.
    • Wade struggles to speak. Angel Dust removes the gag. Wade thanks her profusely, and then tells Ajax he has something in his teeth. Right in the middle. Maybe it's a bit of Romaine lettuce. Ajax encourages Wade to joke away; nobody leaves this place with a sense of humor intact. Wade says they'll see about that.
    • In order to active the serum, Wade has to be stressed. Not like you might sweat a big math test; no, he has to suffer, big time, because adrenaline acts as a catalyst for the serum. They'll stress him until his mutation surfaces or until he dies, whichever comes first.
    • We're then "treated" to a montage of Wade being tortured in a variety of gruesome ways—being sprayed with a hose, dunked in goo, shocked, locked in a coffin full of ice water—all set to the jaunty tones of "Mr. Sandman" by The Chordettes.
    • Following the torture montage, Wade rests in his bed, still restrained, near another "patient" named Cunningham. They talk about their bucket lists. The items on their lists are all jokes (like naked tandem base-jumping with the WNBA's Sacramento Monarchs) until Cunningham mentions making banana pancakes for his kids. Wade says he wants to see Vanessa.
    • Ajax shows up. Cunningham apologizes for all the bucket list talk. Ajax says it's fine; they welcome distractions. They wouldn't want Cunningham giving up on them. The whole exchange is unnerving.
    • Wade tells Cunningham not to take any guff from Ajax, then reveals that Ajax's real name is Francis. With a name like that, how tough can he be?
    • Angel Dust looks at Ajax like "Is that true?" and Ajax looks like he wants to tear Wade limb from limb.
    • Ajax tells Wade he's annoying and advises him to shut up. Wade says the problem with 24/7 torture is that there's no way to step it up, to take it to the next level. Ajax says "O RLY?" We have a feeling that things are about to go from incredibly bad to a whole lot worse for our mouthy pal Wade.
    • Cut to Wade being restrained on a bed in front of a large, foreboding tank. Ajax explains that they're going to lower the oxygen levels in the tank and basically keep Wade suspended at a near-death state in there where he feels like he's suffocating. Sounds lovely.
    • Still, Wade keeps mouthing off. Eventually, Ajax has had enough. He tells Wade that he's not being turned into a superhero; he's being turned into a super-soldier-slave that they'll auction off to the highest bidder.
    • Before Ajax sends Wade into the tank, Wade begs him to wait. He does. Wade tells him this time he really does have something in his teeth. Ajax tells him to have a good weekend, locks him in the tank, and leaves.
    • Wade begins choking and struggling. His skin stars to bubble from head to toe. It's gross. Through voice-over, Wade tells us this isn't a love story; it's a horror movie. Then he sees his deformed reflection in the machinery and screams in horror. The screen goes black.
    • Cut to Ajax and Angel Dust returning to check on Wade. Ajax opens the tank and Wade gasps for air. He still looks like he's been severely burned.
    • The good news is his mutated cells can attack and kill the cancer as fast as it can crop up. The bad news is Ajax won't take care of the nasty side effects that make Wade look like raw meat. He can cure them; he just won't. Then he locks Wade back in the torture tank just because he can, but not before asking Wade to say his name. Wade won't.
    • In the tank, Wade produces a match that he stole from Angel Dust. He lights it, and the entire facility bursts into flames. That's one way to escape.
    • Ajax walks through the burning facility with a fire extinguisher, perplexed. Uh, we think you're going to need a little more fire extinguishing power than that, Francis.
    • Just then, Wade busts through the flames and attacks Ajax. They fight in the burning building, Ajax wielding a fire extinguisher, Wade wielding an oxygen tank. Did we mention that Wade is literally on fire at points in this fight? Because he is.
    • Mid-fight, Ajax tells Wade that he shouldn't want to kill him; he's the only who can fix his "ugly mug." Then Ajax gets the upper hand on Wade.
    • Wade lies on the floor, struggling, and Ajax impales him with a large metal pole. Then Ajax bends the end of the pole over so it looks like Wade's stuck on a big, tetanus-filled candy cane.
    • Ajax asks Wade to say his name one more time and then leaves. "Wade," Cunningham croaks from the floor nearby. Wade just looks at him, eyelids heavy.
  • Scene 7

    Scene 7

    • Wade rises from the ashes of the burned-out torture facility. He's no longer impaled. Through voice-over, he tells us that he didn't just get the cure for cancer; he got the cure for everything. Problem is, there was only one thing that mattered.
    • It's Vanessa, obvi.
    • Cut to Wade, in a hoodie, following Vanessa down the street. The people he passes stare at him and whisper. He can't take it. He watches Vanessa go into her building without saying anything.
    • At Sister Margaret's, Wade explains to Weasel that he can't let Vanessa see him like this. It's too horrible. Weasel questions how bad it could be. Wade lowers his hoodie and gives his bartender buddy a good look. Weasel's repulsed and suggests Wade star in horror movies.
    • Wade says his actual plan is to find Francis, force him to fix his face, and then kill him—so a slightly more revenge-fueled plan, then.
    • All that he needs now is a mask and a name. Wade pulls "Deadpool" from the bar's dead pool up on the chalkboard and briefly flirts with "Captain Deadpool" before he and Weasel agree on just Deadpool.
    • Montage time! Wade dons a ski mask and sunglasses and starts beating up bad guys en route to Francis. As he tries to scrub an absurd amount of blood out his white hoodie at the laundromat, an old blind woman tells him to use seltzer or, you know, wear red. Duh. Wade sews himself a new, red costume, and busts up an underground boxing ring. That costume muffles his voice, so he makes another costume. This one's a keeper, and we see—as the Deadpool we recognize—beat up several more bad dudes (and dudettes) all in the name of finding Francis. He even kills one guy, very slowly, using a Zamboni.
    • Finally, Deadpool tracks down the recruiter. He tries to make a run for it, but Deadpool catches him. The recruiter says he knows exactly where Francis is. Deadpool still tortures the recruiter first, although he kindly turns the camera away so we can't see the carnage. What a gentleman.
    • Cut to Deadpool running for a cab. Hey, it's Dopinder! Looks like we're back where this whole story started, before the massive collision and Colossus showing up. Wait, are we moving in a circle?
    • It's like Deadpool reads our mind. "And we all know how this turned out," he says, and we fast forward, VHS-tape-style, to the present, i.e., Deadpool in the back of the garbage truck.
  • Scene 8

    Scene 8

    • The garbage truck drops Deadpool off at home. He lives in with the old blind lady from the laundromat, Blind Al. We cut away to the laundromat flashback again, and Deadpool speaks, pointing out that he's now breaking the fourth wall inside a breaking of the fourth wall. That's, like, 16 walls.
    • Blind Al's building a bookshelf from IKEA, and she and Deadpool launch into a big discussion about IKEA shelves. They both give each other a hard time. She's happy to be blind so she'll never have to see the pair of Crocs he slips into when he gets home, for example.
    • Al finishes her shelf and collapses into the armchair. Deadpool lies on the floor. They're both tired and irritable.
    • Al's shelf falls apart, and she asks Deadpool why he's being such a jerk. Deadpool explains that he's having a bad day because Francis got away, and Francis is the only one who can fix his face so Vanessa will get back together with him. Then, with a fart, he leaves, presumably for his bedroom. Classy.
    • Cut to Ajax on his motorcycle. He arrives at what looks like testing facility 2.0, just as a handful of what must be super-slaves are being collared, sedated, and packed into crates.
    • Ajax tells Angel Dust that he knows who the mystery man in the red suit is. While she patches up his chest wound, he explains that he's going to get rid of Deadpool once and for all. Deadpool can't heal himself if there's nothing to heal. Okay, then.
    • Back at Deadpool and Blind Al's apartment, Blind Al tells Deadpool he needs to find Vanessa and tell her how her feels. Looks don't matter; she won't care. Love is blind. No, Big Al's blind, Deadpool points out.
  • Scene 9

    Scene 9

    • Weasel's behind the bar at Sister Margaret's when Ajax and Angel Dust roll in. They want to know where Wade Wilson is. Weasel says he doesn't know that name. Angel Dust spots the photo of Wade and Vanessa tacked up behind the bar. Whoops.
    • Angel Dust grabs Weasel in a chokehold, lifts him up, and pins him to the wall. Every patron in the bar draws his gun and points it at her. Also whoops.
    • Ajax tells Angel Dust to put Weasel down. Now that they know who Vanessa is, they have everything they need. As soon as they leave, Weasel calls Wade to let him know they have a massive problem, and by "they" he means "Wade."
    • Cut to Wade and Weasel walking down the street. Wade's half-afraid and half-angry because he's on his way to talk to Vanessa. He's "afrangy."
    • Wade and Weasel enter a strip club. He needs to find Vanessa before Ajax does, and they take a lap. Weasel promptly gets distracted by a woman.
    • Stan Lee cameo alert! That's him announcing the next performer, Chastity.
    • Marvel Comics legend Stan Lee has made a cameo in almost every Marvel film.
    • Wade sees Vanessa. She's a waitress. He walks up right behind her but chickens out and heads for the men's room. She looks like she just caught a chill or sensed a ghost or realized she may've left the curling iron this morning.
    • In the bathroom, Wade splashes water on his face and gives himself a pep talk of sorts. "This isn't about me; this is about Vanessa," he says. What a novel thought.
    • Vanessa's manager tells her that there's someone out back looking for; something about an old boyfriend. She looks alarmed and heads out into the alley, where it's pouring rain. She sees a hooded figure leaning against the wall. She says she knew it was Wade.
    • It's not Wade. It's Ajax. He tells her that she has Wade Wilson to thank for this, and then Angel Dust knocks her out.
    • Back in the strip club, Wade finds Weasel who says he saw Vanessa go out back. Wade heads for the alley and finds Vanessa's bag. He's enraged.
    • He takes that rage straight home, and orders Weasel to help him pack up all the guns they can find. Blind Al helps, too. She was going to build another IKEA shelf tonight, but this is more interesting. After a brief argument about which shelf they agreed that she'd build, Wade has her turn over the gun in her sock, too.
    • Ajax texts Wade. If he wants Vanessa, he needs to meet Ajax at the scrapyard at noon. Once he has his bag full of guns and his red suit on, Wade—er, Deadpool—takes off, but not before telling Blind Al he loves her. Weasel says he'd go with Wade, but he doesn't want to.
  • Scene 10

    Scene 10

    • Ajax and Angel Dust lead Vanessa across the shipyard, which is full of scrap and features a giant, decaying ship. Vanessa's hands are tied, and her mouth is covered in duct tape. When Angel Dust removes the tape, Vanessa wastes no time in insulting Ajax, who comments on how she's a talker, just like Wade.
    • Vanessa says they've got the wrong girl. Her ex-boyfriend is dead. Ajax says you'd think that, but he just keeps coming back—like a cockroach.
    • Then in classic movie villain mode, he explains his master plan: He (as in Ajax) may not be able to feel anything, but Wade does. They're going to see how he fights when Vanessa's head is on the block. Vanessa looks thoroughly confused.
    • Cut to the X-Men mansion. Negasonic Teenage Warhead answers the door. It's Deadpool. He wants her and Colossus to help him fight Ajax, especially on account of them letting him get away and all.
    • He also gets in a quick meta-jab about how funny it is that he only ever sees Colossus and Negasonic Teenage Warhead. It's almost like the studio couldn't afford another X-Man. Well played, Deadpool. Well played.
    • Cut to Dopinder's cab; he's giving Deadpool, Colossus, and Negasonic Teenage Warhead a lift to the scrapyard. Deadpool mentions that Colossus agreed to help on the grounds that Deadpool would consider joining the X-Men—or, as Deadpool calls it, Colossus's boyband.
    • Deadpool wants to know how things are going with Dopinder and Gita, the love of his life that was stolen by his cousin Bandhu. Turns out Dopinder took Deadpool's advice, and he has Bandhu tied up in the trunk of his cab. He's going to gut him like a fish. Deadpool pretends to be horrified about this for the X-Men's sake, but whispers to Dopinder that he's proud of him.
    • Dopinder drops them off at the shipyard, and they make a dramatic walk on to the scene backed by DMX's "X Gon' Give It to Ya." Then Deadpool realizes he left his bag full of guns and ammo in Dopinder's cab. D'oh.
    • Flash to Dopinder crashing the car. Deadpool's going to have to do this the old-fashioned way, with just the weapons he has on him—and, of course, "maximum effort."
    • Ajax, Angel Dust, and a squad of armed men meet Deadpool and his partners. Angel Dust hits Colossus and sends him flying. That's a surprise. Time to see what Negasonic Teenage Warhead can do…as soon as she finishes her sour-faced tweet.
    • Negasonic Teenage Warhead tosses her phone, takes off running toward Angel Dust, surrounds herself with a ball of energy, and sends Angel Dust flying. It's game on, y'all.
    • Ajax's henchmen open fire. Angel Dust and Colossus go toe to toe. Deadpool removes his underwear and waves the white flag, so to speak.
    • The henchmen stop firing. Deadpool offers them the chance to surrender. They start firing again. Fight's totally back on.
    • Deadpool emerges from behind cover and does his thing. Lots of acrobatic swordplay and flying knives as he cuts his way, often literally, through the heavily armed henchmen. Colossus and Angel Dust keep duking it out, too. Negasonic Teenage Warhead uses her force blasts to dispense with some henchmen.
    • Ajax drags Vanessa over to the top of the ship to survey the battle below. Wade has spelled out "FRANCIS" in dead bodies.
    • The fight continues. Negasonic Teenage Warhead instructs Deadpool to climb onto the large sheet of scrap metal that she's crouched beneath. He does, and she blasts the sheet onto the deck of the ship as Deadpool holds on for dear life.
    • Deadpool finds Ajax and Vanessa. Vanessa's imprisoned in a tank just like the one that turned Wade's face into ground beef.
    • Ajax makes it clear that he's going to hack Deadpool to bits, thereby making it nearly impossible for him to regenerate. Deadpool's like, "Okay, then. Let's try to kill each other," and that's exactly what they do—but not before Ajax turns on the tank and Vanessa starts gasping for air.
    • Ajax clutches a pair of axes, and he and Deadpool charge at one another. They fight.
    • Deadpool throws a sword into the front of the tank, stopping its nasty effects. While Deadpool and Ajax throttle each other, Vanessa eventually breaks out of the tank.
    • Ajax stabs Deadpool in the head. Ouch. Vanessa grabs the sword from the tank and charges it through Ajax. She, Ajax, and Deadpool all lie on the ground.
    • Deadpool, knife still lodged in his head, stares at Vanessa. He hallucinates happy cartoon animals all around her while Chicago's "You're the Inspiration" plays in the background. The knife in his brain is making him hallucinate. He makes a heart symbol with his hands. She calls him an a-hole.
    • Ajax gets back on his feet, picks up Vanessa, and flings her across the deck.
    • Colossus and Angel Dust? Yep, still fighting. She's choking him with a rope.
    • Negasonic Teenage Warhead launches herself at Colossus and Angel Dust, causing an explosion that sends Angel Dust flying toward the ship. The ship tips on impact, sending Deadpool, Vanessa, and Ajax sliding down the deck towards what looks like a grisly fate if they continue sliding off the deck.
    • Just as Deadpool and Vanessa are about to go over the edge, he throws her back in the tank. The tank then snags the edge of the deck and stops them from falling over the edge. For now, anyway. The massive ship continues to fall over.
    • Colossus grabs Negasonic Teenage Warhead and Angel Dust and runs them out of danger, away from the path of the capsizing ship.
    • As the ship finishes tipping over, the tank breaks free and lands. Vanessa's safe. Deadpool's safe, too, until he gets tackled by Ajax. Deadpool pummels Ajax amidst the debris, then demands that Ajax fix his face.
    • Ajax laughs and calls Deadpool an idiot. He can't fix his face. There's no cure for that.
    • Just as Deadpool's about to put a bullet in Ajax's forehead—after all, the guy just said he can't do the one thing for which Deadpool was keeping him alive—Colossus tells Deadpool to stop.
    • Colossus then launches into a heartfelt speech about what it means to be a hero. It only takes four or five moments in your life to be a hero, moments when you have to make a decision to do the right thing, like sparing an enemy's life, for example, or
    • Before Colossus can finish his speech, Deadpool shoots Ajax in the head. Colossus barfs. Deadpool says he was taking too long.
    • Next, Deadpool has to face Vanessa. She immediately begins beating him up, and then orders him to start talking. He apologizes for leaving and for being away for so long, but it's been a rough couple of years. "Rough?" she questions indignantly.
    • They stare at each other in silence for a moment, then Deadpool launches into a tall tale about how he lives in a crack house with a family of 12 now. "So you live in a house," Vanessa says. And that's their version of making up, we guess: trying to "out-suffer" each other.
    • Vanessa removes Deadpool's mask. She's taken aback at first, but then tells him that, after an adjustment period, everything will be back to normal. They start getting romantic (or their version of romantic), when Colossus interrupts, telling them to cool it; there's a teenager present.
    • Deadpool's all "What are you two still doing here? Go be heroes!" He calls Negasonic Teenage Warhead Sinéad O'Connor again, and she says it's okay; he's cool. Deadpool is shocked and proud. Negasonic Teenage Warhead and Colossus leave.
    • All alone in the destroyed shipyard, Deadpool and Vanessa kiss. Suddenly, they hear "Careless Whisper" by Wham! Deadpool's playing it on his phone. Smooth.
    • Through voice-over, Deadpool tells us you don't need to be a superhero to get the girl. The right girl will bring out the hero in you.
    • Then he instructs the camera to continue its epic wide shot, and it does, as he and Vanessa continue making out amidst the rubble.
    • Wait—there's more! After the credits, Deadpool comes out in a bathrobe and tells everybody to go home; the movie's over. It's an homage to the end of Ferris Bueller's Day Off, where Ferris does the exact thing, in a similarly '80s-decorated house. Deadpool also unleashes a pretty big spoiler for the sequel: It's going to have Cable. Sweet.