Wade rises from the ashes of the burned-out torture facility. He's no longer impaled. Through voice-over, he tells us that he didn't just get the cure for cancer; he got the cure for everything. Problem is, there was only one thing that mattered.
It's Vanessa, obvi.
Cut to Wade, in a hoodie, following Vanessa down the street. The people he passes stare at him and whisper. He can't take it. He watches Vanessa go into her building without saying anything.
At Sister Margaret's, Wade explains to Weasel that he can't let Vanessa see him like this. It's too horrible. Weasel questions how bad it could be. Wade lowers his hoodie and gives his bartender buddy a good look. Weasel's repulsed and suggests Wade star in horror movies.
Wade says his actual plan is to find Francis, force him to fix his face, and then kill him—so a slightly more revenge-fueled plan, then.
All that he needs now is a mask and a name. Wade pulls "Deadpool" from the bar's dead pool up on the chalkboard and briefly flirts with "Captain Deadpool" before he and Weasel agree on just Deadpool.
Montage time! Wade dons a ski mask and sunglasses and starts beating up bad guys en route to Francis. As he tries to scrub an absurd amount of blood out his white hoodie at the laundromat, an old blind woman tells him to use seltzer or, you know, wear red. Duh. Wade sews himself a new, red costume, and busts up an underground boxing ring. That costume muffles his voice, so he makes another costume. This one's a keeper, and we see—as the Deadpool we recognize—beat up several more bad dudes (and dudettes) all in the name of finding Francis. He even kills one guy, very slowly, using a Zamboni.
Finally, Deadpool tracks down the recruiter. He tries to make a run for it, but Deadpool catches him. The recruiter says he knows exactly where Francis is. Deadpool still tortures the recruiter first, although he kindly turns the camera away so we can't see the carnage. What a gentleman.
Cut to Deadpool running for a cab. Hey, it's Dopinder! Looks like we're back where this whole story started, before the massive collision and Colossus showing up. Wait, are we moving in a circle?
It's like Deadpool reads our mind. "And we all know how this turned out," he says, and we fast forward, VHS-tape-style, to the present, i.e., Deadpool in the back of the garbage truck.