Rooney pulls up in front of the Bueller house. He rings the doorbell, and—what's this now?—Ferris answers. Rooney says he wants to have a word with him, but Ferris says he can't come to the door at the moment. Cut to an audiocassette labeled "Doorbell" playing on Ferris's super stereo. First the snoring, now this? Is there nothing Ferris's magical '80s hi-fi can't do?
Rooney argues with the tape until he's the only one talking. Thoroughly peeved, he rings the bell again, and the tape starts over. Rooney finally gets it. He steps back and surveys the house, and then he creeps around it, looking in windows. You know, just like your school's dean of students always does.
Peering in one of the windows, precariously perched on a spigot, Rooney slips and thrusts his foot into some deep mud, losing his shoe. Then he accidentally turns the water on. And then, while fishing his shoe out of the mud, the hose springs to life. Rooney curses, then grabs the hose to rinse off his shoe. When he bends down to put the hose back, though, he splits his pants. Nothing is coming up Rooney.
Speaking of all things Rooney, award yourself +10 Music Nerd XP if you guessed that the band Rooney—featuring Robert Schwartzman, a.k.a. Jason Schwartzman's little bro, a.k.a., that dude from The Princess Diaries—takes its name from the ineffective school administrator.
Next, we cut to a shot of the Chicago skyline, as viewed from the end of a long road. Suddenly, a car bursts into frame from above. It's the parking attendants, and as the theme from Star Wars plays, we see them take a small jump in slow motion. The speedometer reads just over 100 m.p.h. They touch down on the concrete and continue speeding back toward the Windy City.
Back at Casa de Bueller, Rooney's slouched on the back step, putting his wet shoe back on. He stops, realizing he's sitting in front of a large doggie door. Irrational, ill-conceived light bulb moment: Rooney sticks his head through the doggie door and into the house.
One of the meanest dogs we've ever seen rounds the island in the kitchen and spots Rooney. The dog growls and then chases Rooney back and forth across the backyard.
From a lack of smarts to a montage of the arts. Ferris, Cameron, and Sloane are at the Art Institute of Chicago. While an instrumental version of Dream Academy's cover of The Smiths' "Please, Please, Please Let Me Get What I Want" underscores the action, we see an epic "buddy system" line of adorable schoolchildren holding hands as they traverse the museum; in the middle of the line are Ferris, Sloane, and Cameron.
Ferris, Cameron, and Sloane all mimic the defiant, folded arms pose of Rodin's sculpture "Portrait of Balzac" and then contemplate a trio of side-by-side Picassos.
Then they split up: Cameron looks deep—like single dot deep—into Georges Seurat's pointillist masterpiece "A Sunday on the Island of La Grande Jatte" while Ferris and Sloane make out in front of Marc Chagall's "America Windows." Have they no respect for the arts? (We hope you read that in a haughty British accent.)