Harry Potter and the Prisoner of Azkaban Summary
Our favorite wizard (apologies to the entire cast of Wizards of Waverly Place) is beneath his bedsheets secretly trying to read a book. It's hard for Harry Potter to get anything done in the Dursley household. His reluctant foster parents, Uncle Vernon and Aunt Petunia, hate the boy for simply existing.
We learn that this hatred runs in the veins of the Dursley family (alongside either ice water or turkey gravy) when Aunt Marge visits. She makes the evil aunties from James and the Giant Peach seem warm and cuddly.
After she insults Harry's dead parents, Harry magically inflates Marge like the Goodyear blimp. Afraid he'll be booted from Hogwarts for using magic outside of school, Harry runs away from the Dursley household.
In a nearby park, Harry is almost attacked by a mangy black dog. He's saved in the knick of time by the Knight Bus…which is (k)not what it seems. It's a magic bus, zipping through the streets invisible to the eyes of Muggles. It deposits Harry at the Leaky Cauldron, where the Minister of Magic forgives Harry for inflating Marge like a pigeon at a wedding.
At the Cauldron, Harry's reunited with his buds Ron and Hermione. Ron's father informs Harry that Sirius Black, who just escaped from Azkaban, wants to kill Harry, and that Harry needs to be safe:
HARRY: Mr. Weasley, why would I go looking for someone who wants to kill me?
(If Mr. Weasley believes this line, he clearly hasn't seen the other two movies.)
Aboard the Hogwarts Express, Harry, Ron, and Hermione return to the greatest boarding school of all time: yup, that'd be Hogwarts.
However, the cabin air soon turns cold. The window frosts over. Evil soul-sucking beasts have come aboard. No, not Men's Rights Activists, but Dementors. These ringwraith rejects attempt to siphon Harry's soul from his body, but are stopped by Professor Remus Lupin.
When Dumbledore welcomes the student body back to Hogwarts, he informs them that the Dementors will be on Hogwarts grounds because they're searching for Sirius Black, El Chapo of the wizarding world. Professor Lupin is introduced as the new Defense Against the Dark Arts teacher. And Hagrid, our favorite gentle giant, has been promoted to teach Care of Magical Creatures.
Speaking of Magical Creatures, Hagrid introduces the students to a Hippogriff during their first class. Provoked by Draco Malfoy, Buckbeak the hippogriff injures the blonde brat, who threatens to tell his father and have Hagrid fired. And worse, poor Buckbeak is sentenced to death.
Meanwhile, Harry learns that Sirius Black isn't just a crazy killer. He was James and Lily Potter's best friend. He betrayed them to Lord Voldemort and was responsible for their deaths and the death of their friend Peter Pettigrew. Oh yeah, and he's also Harry's godfather. What's next? A hippogriff head in Harry's bed?
Harry isn't allowed to visit Hogsmeade because his permission slip wasn't signed. (Even wizards have to deal with paperwork.) The Weasley twins help Harry sneak to Hogsmeade with the assistance of the Marauder's Map, a magical piece of parchment that shows Harry the whereabouts of every person within Hogwarts walls. The Map appears to be on the fritz, though, because it shows Peter Pettigrew…even though Harry knows he is dead. Spooky.
To help Harry defend himself against Dementors, Professor Lupin teaches Harry the Patronus charm. A Patronus won't save Buckbeak, though. Harry, Ron, and Hermione watch the poor Hippogriff be executed by a man with a giant axe. Buckbeak, we hardly knew ye.
All Hades breaks loose (oh, sorry, this isn't Percy Jackson) when Ron's rat, Scabbers, escapes. Ron finds the rat near the Whomping Willow. He also finds the giant black dog that approached Harry at the beginning of the movie. The dog grabs Ron by the ankle and drags him into a tunnel at the base of the Willow. Hey, at least he didn't pee on Ron.
Harry and Hermione follow Ron inside, where they discover that the dog is Sirius Black, an Animagus. They are joined by Professor Lupin, Sirius' friend. They inform Harry that Sirius is a good guy. The person who actually betrayed the Potters was Peter Pettigrew, who is also an Animagus. Pettigrew has disguised himself as Scabbers, Ron's rat.
Snape shows up, with bad timing as always, and Harry blasts him with a disarming spell. Ouch. Considering what a jerk Snape was to Hermione earlier, Harry should have let her do it.
Anyway, Pettigrew resumes human form, still looking awfully rat like. Instead of feeding him to a life-size game of Mouse Trap, they decide to turn him in to the Dementors, which is even worse. Outside, it appears that Lupin forgot to check the moon phase on the Weather Channel that morning. The full moon appears in the sky, and Lupin, a werewolf, transforms.
As a werewolf, Lupin's unable to control himself. Or to tell friend from foe. To this giant werewolf, everyone else looks like a tasty slab of bacon on legs. Sirius shifts into a dog and fights were-Lupin to defend Harry and the gang. In the commotion, Peter Pettigrew escapes. Harry finds Sirius injured by the lake, which is swirling with Dementors. The Dementors latch onto Harry and Sirius like leeches. But someone across the pond lets out a blinding burst of Patronus, frightening the Dementors away.
Harry wakes up in the infirmary. Ron is there, recovering from being dragged half a mile by Sirius. (Why didn't Sirius just snatch the rat from his hands?) Dumbledore shows up, and tells Hermione to go back in time and fix things. He doesn't say it that bluntly of course, as the old man always speaks in riddles. (If we were in his shoes, we'd just play Cher's "If I Could Turn Back Time.")
With her Time Turner—no relation to Tina—Hermione can turn back time, and she can find a way to take back that axe that killed Buckbeak. After saving Buckbeak, Harry and Hermione wait to rescue Sirius. Harry believes his father conjured the Patronus that saved him. Hermione reminds Harry that his dad is dead, as if he forgot, but he still believes it was his father.
He's wrong. It turns out that Harry's the one that conjured the Patronus and saved himself. (Time travel makes our eyes cross, so let's not think about that one too much.) Harry and Hermione fly on Buckbeak to Hogwarts tower and break Sirius out of his little cage. He flies away on Buckbeak to fight Voldemort another day.
Harry has to say goodbye to Lupin, who has resigned…because no one wants a werewolf teaching their children. But Harry does receive some good news: a new broomstick, courtesy of his fugitive godfather. Harry flies into the Dementor-free sky, happy.
You'd be happy too if you could fly and there wasn't something lurking in the sky to suck out your soul.
- We begin with Harry Potter trying to read a book under his bedsheet.
- Most teenagers would keep a secret flashlight for this purpose, but Harry uses his lumos maxima spell to illuminate his wand.
- Uncle Dursley keeps checking on him, forcing him to keep his night-time activities a secret.
- The next day, Harry needs Uncle Vernon to sign a permission slip, which Vernon promises to do with Harry "behaves."
- That's going to be hard, because the Dursleys have a visitor: Vernon's sister, Marge.
- She's the Dursliest.
- She disparages Harry's dad as a drunk, and Harry defends him. He also breaks Marge's glass.
- When she continues to talk smack about Harry's parents, his magic goes haywire.
- Lights flicker and large Marge becomes even larger, inflating like the Michelin Man.
- She floats into the garden like an untethered hot-air balloon.
- If there's one thing the Dursleys are full of (that we can say while keeping this PG) it's hot air.
- Harry retreats to his room, angry at everything large Marge said about his poor dead parents.
- That night, he drags his trunk downstairs.
- Vernon demands Harry set Marge right, but Harry pulls his wand on Vernon.
HARRY: Anywhere's better than here.
- You tell him, Harry.
- Harry drags his trunk through the dark, mean streets of Little Whinging.
- With nowhere to go, he stops for a rest in a public playground.
- The swings start swinging by themselves, like in a Korean horror movie.
- Or maybe a Universal Wolfman flick: a mangy dog emerges from the bushes.
- Before it can attack, the mysterious Knight Bus emerges from thin air and welcomes Harry aboard.
- The bus driver, guided by a shrunken head, drives through the streets wilder than a Boston driver. (No offense, Bean Towners.)
- Aboard the wild Knight Bus, Harry scopes the front page of the Daily Prophet.
- Above the fold is Sirius Black, one of You-Know-Who's biggest supporters.
- Black has escaped from Azkaban.
- After squeezing between two double-decker buses, the Knight Bus drops Harry off at the Leaky Cauldron.
- Inside the Cauldron, Minister Fudge chastises Harry for inflating his aunt, but doles out no real punishment.
- He warns him there's a criminal on the loose (Sirius Black) and sends Harry to his room. We hope it has a few extra super-strong magical locks on the door.
- If you thought your homework was annoying, be glad your schoolbooks don't try to eat you.
- Harry is attacked by one of his books: the Monster Book of Monsters.
- It's furry, it has teeth, and it makes the Necronomicon look as cuddly as a hedgehog.
- In the hallway, Harry sees Crookshanks the cat and Scabbers the rat, which means only one thing: his two BFFs are in residence.
- Harry reunites with Ron and Hermione, and joins them and the rest of the Weasleys for a bit of brekky.
- Mr. Weasley pulls Harry aside and tells him he's in "grave danger."
- According to Mr. Weasley, Sirius Black escaped from Azkaban, not because the food was really bad, but because he wants to kill Harry Potter. Gulp.
- Aboard the Hogwarts Express, Harry, Ron, and Hermione take a cabin with Professor R.J. Lupin, who's taking a catnap.
- Harry fills Ron and Hermione in on the fact that Sirius Black wants him dead. Stop bragging, Harry.
- Suddenly, the train stops.
- And the lights go out.
- And it gets really, really cold. Cold enough to freeze a bottle of water in the cabin. (This would be a handy ability to have in the summer.)
- A spectral figure appears at the door, and slides it open with one bony, gnarled hand.
- The hooded creature peeks inside, and appears to be sucking Harry's soul from his body like one big pasta noodle.
- Before it can slurp up Harry, Professor Lupin stands and banishes the beast with a blast of silver light from his wand.
- Harry regains consciousness, and is told the creature was a Dementor, a guard of Azkaban, searching the train for Sirius Black.
- Thank you for tuning in to Scared Straight: Hogwarts Edition.
- OMG GUYS WE'RE AT HOGWARTS AGAIN.
- In the Great Hall, Dumbledore welcomes students to another year at Hogwarts.
- And he introduces Prof. Lupin as the new Defense against the Dark Arts teacher. Oh, he won't last long.
- Dumbledore has another announcement: Hagrid has been promoted to professor too. He will teach Care of Magical Creatures.
- It's not all fun and games this year, though. The Dementors will be roaming the halls of Hogwarts, watching out for Sirius Black.
- This is basically like lining the halls with landmines to catch a mouse.
- Our first class is Divination, taught by the batty Professor Trelawney.
- Today she's teaching the reading of tea leaves. You can practice this technique at your local Starbucks after a hot Oprah chai.
- Hermione thinks this whole class is a load of rubbish.
- When Trelawney looks into Harry's teacup, she says he has "the Grim." Is that a new Frappuccino flavor?
- After class, Hermione says Ancient Runes is the superior class.
- Ron doesn't understand how she would know that, because that class is at the same time as Divination.
- Hermione: how could anyone be in two classes at once?
- Maybe Hermione has a twin. You know, we've never seen Emma Watson and Hermione Granger in the same room at the same time…
- Hagrid's going to teach us a lesson.
- Of course, Draco Malfoy thinks it's an insult to his education that Hagrid is a teacher now.
- Harry stands up for his friend Hagrid, but Draco taunts him by saying there's a Dementor behind him.
- At least Dementors have better breath than Malfoy. Ooh, burn.
- Hagrid introduces the students to Buckbeak, a hippogriff.
- It doesn't look like we'd pictured it from the book: a mixture of hippopotamus and Merv Griffin.
- Hagrid puts Harry on its back, and off it goes, soaring into the sky.
- In fear, Hermione grabs Ron's hand. Awwwwwkwaaaard. Or as the hippogriff might say, squawkward.
- Aboard Buckbeak's back, Harry does his best Kate Winslet impression.
- And he returns to Hagrid safely.
- Malfoy, trying to show off, approaches Buckbeak and is promptly knocked to the ground.
- Like he's milking a World Cup foul, Malfoy acts like he's mortally wounded, and needs to be carried to the hospital.
- At dinner, there are reports of Sirius being sighted in the area.
- But don't worry. The Dementors are on guard. They kill plants just by walking by. We hope Hogwarts has the budget for extra gardeners this term.
- In Defense against the Dark Class, there's a boggart inside a wardrobe.
- What does it look like? Is it something you find inside your nose? No, that's a booger.
- Lupin teaches them the riddikulus charm to repel boggarts.
- But what boggarts really hate is laughter. Every time you watch Broad City, a boggart cries.
- Lupin brings Neville forward for a demonstration.
LUPIN: I want you to imagine Professor Snape in your grandmother's clothes.
- The wardrobe opens, and out comes Snape.
- Neville uses the charm to transform his black robes into his grandmother's furs. Frankly, Snape looks fab in that getup.
- A comic montage of shape-shifting follows.
- When it's Harry's turn, the boggart takes the form of a Dementor.
- Lupin jumps in to defend him. His fear? The full moon.
- Either he's a werewolf, or he's afraid of Snape bending over and lifting his robes.
- Lupin sends the evil scary moon away with a riddikulus charm, and we're back to normal.
- Or as normal as things get at Hogwarts.
- Professor McGonagall escorts the student body to Hogsmeade.
- But Harry can't go, because he didn't get his permission slip signed. Isn't there a forgery spell he can use?
- Harry spends his time talking to Lupin about Dementors.
- Lupin explains that a person's pain becomes a Dementor's power.
- Speaking of pain, Harry believes that the female scream he hears whenever a Dementor approaches is his mother.
- Lupin knew her. And like everyone who knew her, he thought she was a total babe.
- Lupin also believes that Harry inherited his father's "talent for trouble." He means that as a compliment.
- Gryffindor students are unable to enter their common room because the Fat Lady has disappeared.
- Someone—or something—has slashed her painting.
- Dumbledore finds her in another painting, hiding behind a hippo. Not a hippogriff.
- She says Sirius Black did it. We can add "art destroyer" to his resume of crimes.
- All the kids are rounded up into a central room, and the teachers conduct a search for Black.
- No one finds him. And Snape finds it unlikely that Black breached Hogwarts' defenses all by himself.
- He blames Lupin, who was a friend of Black, for letting him in. This is a curious case of who let the dogs in?
- It's Defense Against the Dark Arts time.
- But Prof. Lupin isn't there. Instead, it's everyone's favorite substitute: Snape.
- He says Lupin is "incapable of teaching at the present time."
- Today's lesson: werewolves.
- Once again, Hermione seems to appear out of nowhere to be her usual Brainiac self.
- They discuss the difference between an Animagus and a werewolf.
- What's the diff? An Animagus has choice to transform; a werewolf does not.
- Snape assigns a long essay on werewolves.
- It's Quidditch time. And there's a vicious thunderstorm.
- Even though no one invited them, Dementors chase Harry around the Quidditch pitch.
- He ends up falling off his broomstick.
- Harry wakes up in the infirmary.
- But they're going to need a carpenter, too. Harry's broomstick shattered into pieces when he fell.
- The next day, Lupin promises to teach Harry how to fend off Dementors.
- But…not until after the holidays. Gotta built up dramatic tension somehow.
- Once again, everyone but Harry gets to go to Hogsmeade for the holidays.
- But this time, Potter has a plan.
- He sneaks through the snow wearing his invisibility cloak, not realizing that it doesn't cloak his footprints in the snow.
- George and Fred Weasley see Harry tromping through the snow and pull him aside.
- They present him with the Marauder's Map, which shows the presence of everyone inside Hogwarts. It's like a magical paper version of Google Earth.
- The map shows a secret route to Hogsmeade, which Harry takes.
- If we had a secret passage to a village full of magical candy, well…it wouldn't be too long before we were too large to fit through the secret passage.
- Ron and Hermione are checking out the Shrieking Shack, "the most haunted building in Britain."
- They get taunted by Malfoy, but Harry, in his invisibility cloak, shows him and his toadies how it's really done.
- He pelts them with snowballs and pulls off their pants until they flee in terror.
- Back in Hogsmeade, Harry witnesses the Minister of Magic enter the Three Broomsticks pub with Professor McGonagall.
- Harry decides to get his eavesdropping on, following them under his invisibility cloak.
- McGonagall says that Sirius Black destroyed his friend Peter Pettigrew when Pettigrew tried to warn Harry's parents about Voldemort's return.
- And an even bigger bombshell: Sirius Black is Harry Potter's Don Corleone. i.e., his godfather.
- Hermione finds Harry crying in the woods.
- Harry is upset that Sirius, his parents' friend, betrayed them.
- Harry says he'll kill him. Kill him dead.
- Back at Hogwarts, it's time for Harry's lesson with Lupin.
- Lupin teaches him the Patronus charm.
- It can work as a shield against Dementors.
- For it to work, Harry must think of a very happy, powerful memory, which, as expected, is pretty difficult for an orphan who is often being hunted by evil wizards who want to kill him.
- Using the boggart as a dummy of sorts, Lupin trains him to say "Expecto Patronum."
- Harry faints. That's not how it's supposed to work.
- Every time Harry passes out, Lupin gives him chocolate. We should pass out more often.
- Lupin asks Harry what happy memory he was thinking about.
HARRY: The first time I rode a broom.
- Eh. He'll have to do better than that.
- Lupin unleashes the Dementor/boggart, and Harry tries again.
- This time, it works.
- A beam of silver light issues from Harry's wand, shoving the boggart back into its box, where it belongs.
- What was Harry's memory? His parents, of course.
- Harry gets more chocolate as a reward. Lupin must singlehandedly keep Cadbury in business.
- Ron lost his rat. Way to go, Ron.
- He accuses Hermione's cat of killing it. We thought orange cats only ate lasagna, not rats.
- They speak to Hagrid, who had a hearing to attend about Buckbeak's fate.
- Lucius Malfoy recommends the death sentence for Buckbeak. Dang, that's harsh.
- That night, Harry scopes out the Marauder's Map and sees a name he never expected to see, the name of someone who is supposed to be dead.
- No, John Lennon isn't visiting Hogwarts. But Peter Pettigrew is.
- Harry tries to find Pettigrew, but he's intercepted by Snape.
- Snape, whose disciplinary style is stop and frisk, demands Harry turn out his pockets.
- The Marauder's Map is a blank sheet of parchment, and it won't reveal itself to Snape.
- Lupin joins them in the hall and tells Snape he's sniffing up the wrong tree.
- He says Harry isn't up to no good. (Solemnly swear.)
- Lupin brings Harry to his office, where he reveals he knows exactly what the Marauder's Map is.
- He chastises Harry for not turning it in.
- In the wrong hands, it could be a map leading directly to Harry.
- Lupin confiscates the map.
- Harry tells him that the map is on the fritz, like when Google Maps takes you the wrong way down a one-way street.
- Harry says it showed Peter Pettigrew, even though he is supposed to be dead.
- According to Lupin, that's impossible.
- In Divination, Hermione storms out after being insulted by Professor Trelawney.
- She knows how to make an exit, kicking a crystal ball down the hallway. Bend it like Beckham? Try bending it like Hermione.
- Harry returns the crystal ball to Trelawney's room.
- She appears to be in some sort of trance, and she speaks in an ominous voice.
TRELAWNEY: He will return tonight.
- Who will return? The Jedi? Jafar?
- We'll have to wait and see.
- In the courtyard, Buckbeak's executioner sharpens his axe.
- Hermione yells at Malfoy, and pulls her wand on him…because Buckbeak's imminent execution is all his fault.
- Malfoy laughs at her, so she shows him who's the boss by punching him in the face. She doesn't need a wand to defend herself.
HERMIONE: That felt good.
- The gang visits Hagrid, who's upset about the impending execution.
- While in Hagrid's hut, someone throws rocks through the window, hitting Harry in the head.
- Hagrid tells them to get back to Hogwarts before Dumbledore sees them, so they sneak out the back door.
- But they don't return to the castle. They hide behind Hagrid's big pumpkins. (Not a euphemism.)
- Hermione hears a stick snap in the woods, and she sees something, but she won't tell the guys what she saw.
- The gang watches the execution from high upon the hill.
- The axe falls, and Hermione cries. Someone conjure her a Kleenex.
- Scabbers, who doesn't seem to take executions well, bites Ron's finger and runs away, straight for the Whomping Willow.
- Because a murderous tree isn't enough, a mangy dog appears and drags Ron into a hole in the tree's base. Whoa.
- One woody thwack knocks Harry's glasses off, and another wild limb grabs Hermione, sending her flying through the sky.
- They manage to escape and follow Ron into the tunnel beneath the tree.
- It leads them to the scary Shrieking Shack.
- They find Ron in a room, but he isn't alone.
- The dog has transformed back into a human. Not just any human, but Sirius Black.
- Harry pins Sirius to the floor, but then Lupin shows up and disarms Harry.
- He helps Sirius up. They're allies.
- Hermione reveals that Lupin's a werewolf.
- Lupin says that it wasn't Sirius who betrayed Harry's parents. It was Peter Pettigrew. We can't take many more plot twists.
- Somehow, Snape shows up.
- He threatens to blow Sirius' head off with his wand, but then decides he'll turn him in to the Dementors…which is a fate worse than death.
- Harry uses expelliarmus on Snape, knocking him into a bed. Goodnight, Snape.
- Sirius reveals that Scabbers the rat is Peter Pettigrew, who has shapeshifted into a rat.
- After prying the rat from Ron's grip, Sirius casts a spell, changing Pettigrew back into a man. A very ratty looking man. And we're grateful that his clothes transform with him.
- Pettigrew is begging them for mercy.
- Harry says they should spare Pettigrew's life.
- He decides they should take him to the castle where the Dementors can have him. That might be a fate worse than being eaten by a cat.
- Harry and Sirius help Ron from the tunnel and they emerge into the peaceful outdoors.
- Good thing the Whomping Willow appears to be taking a nap.
- Harry tells Sirius that he spared Pettigrew, because he didn't think his dad would want his two best friends to become killers. That's sweet. Is there a Hallmark card for that?
- While they have their heart-to-heart, Lupin emerges from the tree with Pettigrew.
- Lupin, who has a terrible knowledge of moon cycles, seems to have forgotten it's the night of the full moon.
- As he transforms into a wolfman, Pettigrew transforms into a rat and escapes.
- Snape conveniently emerges to protect the kids from the wolf.
- That lasts about three seconds before he is batted aside.
- But Sirius in dog form leaps into the fray, and dog wrestles with Lupin.
- Lupin is about six times the size of dog Sirius, and he quickly gains the upper hand.
- However he's called away by a mysterious howling in the distance.
- Injured, Sirius limps into the woods. Harry follows. Seriously, Harry? You don't even want to be in those woods in the daytime.
- Harry finds Sirius unconscious near a pond.
- The water suddenly freezes over. Oh, is it a magic ice-skating pond? How fun.
- Oh wait. No. It's Dementors. The opposite of fun. They're going to suck the life out of Sirius' mouth.
- But a blinding Patronus from across the pond repels the Dementors.
- Who could that Patronus, which looks like a stag, belong to?
- Harry wakes up in the infirmary.
- She tells Harry that Sirius has been captured, and the Dementors will deliver the dreaded Dementor's Kiss to him soon.
- Trust us, you do not want a Dementor to use tongue.
- Dumbledore arrives and tells Hermione to take action. She knows what to do.
- What? What's she supposed to do?
- Hermione pulls out a little gadget and winds it three times.
- It sends her and Harry back into the past, to 7:30.
- This is the moment before Buckbeak's execution.
- They watch Hermione punch Malfoy in the face. That never gets old.
- According to Dumbledore, "more than one innocent life could be spared."
- Hermione takes that as a clue that they need to save Buckbeak, too.
- Harry and Hermione need to save Buckbeak without being seen.
- But the other thems are inside Hagrid's hut, not leaving.
- Hermione throws a rock at other Harry's head to draw his attention to the Minister's arrival. Remember that?
- Past-Harry, Ron and Hermione emerge, and Future-Hermione and Harry hide in the woods.
- When their past selves leave, Hermione and Harry return to the pumpkin patch. Now is not the time to carve jack-o-lanterns, guys.
- Harry creeps toward Buckbeak and unchains him.
- But Buckbeak is as stubborn as a mule. He won't move.
- Hermione lures him away with dead ferrets that she must keep on hand just for this purpose.
- The Minister and executioner emerge from Hagrid's hut, shocked to find Buckbeak gone.
- The executioner, who takes his job very seriously, angrily chops a pumpkin in half.
- Something is going to die today, even if it is just a gourd.
- With Buckbeak in tow, Harry and Hermione run through the woods.
- They reach the Whomping Willow…and wait.
- As they wait, Harry says he saw someone by the lake who made the Dementors go away.
- Harry thinks it was his dad.
- Hermione gently reminds Harry that his dad is dead, as if he forgot.
- Past-Harry and gang emerge from the Willow.
- Cue werewolf fight, etc. from Scene 23. This is very literal déjà vu.
- That female howl we heard earlier? It's Hermione.
- Now past-Lupin is chasing future-Harry through the woods. So they run like they haven't run in, oh, about twenty minutes.
- They come face-to-snout with the werewolf, but Buckbeak intervenes.
- If this were rock paper scissors, Buckbeak is scissors and the werewolf his paper. Lupin retreats.
- Now Harry must rescue Sirius. He runs to the lake where the Dementors swirl about like scraps of kale in a juicer.
- Harry waits for his dad to appear and conjure the Patronus.
- Finally, he realizes it wasn't his dad. It was him.
- Harry conjures the brilliant Patronus that saves the day. Bravo, Harry.
- Harry and Hermione ride Buckbeak back to Hogwarts. Imagine: twenty years ago, half that sentence would make no sense.
- They rescue Sirius from a jail cell in the tower.
- Back on solid ground, Sirius and Harry bond over memories of his parents.
SIRIUS: The ones that love us never leave us.
- Aww. Is there a spell to dry our tears?
- Sirius mounts Buckbeak and escapes.
- The clock chimes, which means Hermione has to hurry. Will she turn into a pumpkin?
- No, they arrive back at the infirmary just as past-them time travel away. Whew. Paradox averted.
- Ah, it's a bright, sunshiney new day.
- Harry visits Lupin, who's packing his office. He has resigned because the wolf is out of the closet. He expects angry parents will demand his resignation anyway.
- Lupin returns the Marauder's Map to Harry before he leaves. Mischief managed, indeed.
- Harry goes to the Great Hall, where a present is waiting for him.
- It's a brand new broom! Not just any broom, but the fastest broom in the world. It's the Miracle Mop of broomsticks.
- Harry rushes outside, climbs aboard, and rockets into the stratosphere, elated.
- The end.