This is a movie from 1952, so we get all of the credits out of the way at the beginning, and they kick off with Gene Kelly, Debbie Reynolds, and Donald O'Connor in full rain gear, holding umbrellas, and singing "Singin' in the Rain." Talk about cutting to the chase.
Cut to the exterior of the famous Grauman's Chinese Theater in Hollywood. It's a movie premiere. Red carpet? Check. Hordes of doting film fans? Check. More spotlights than a used car dealership on the dark side of the moon? Check.
What's playing? According to the glittering marquee it's the "biggest picture of 1927," The Royal Rascal starring Don Lockwood and Lina Lamont.
Dora Bailey is reporting live from the red carpet. She's like a one-woman E! network. Everybody's stoked to get a glimpse of Don and Lina, the film's stars. Boys have scaled the pole-mounted loud speaker to watch. Cops hold back the jostling crowd. A woman clutches a copy of Screen Digest with Lockwood and Lamont on the cover to her chest.
Movie stars start pulling up in some seriously fancy automobiles. There's flapper Zelda Zanders and her ancient boyfriend. The fans go crazy. Look, it's super-sullen Olga Mara and her equally morose husband! They look like they'd rather be at the DMV! Still, the fans go crazy.
Look, it's Cosmo Brown! Nobody cares. In fact, the crowd looks downright disappointed. Dora tells us that Cosmo is Don's BFF, as well as the on-set piano player. Still, nobody really cares.
Don and Lina finally arrive, decked out all in white from head to toe, with equally dazzling toothpaste-commercial smiles plastered on their faces. He's in a fedora and trench coat. She's in sequins and fur.
The fans are whipped into a frenzy. One chick even passes out.
Dora waxes poetic about what a gorgeous couple Don and Lina are. Ol' Dora's practically drooling on her floral print frock.
Don and Lina stop to chat with Dora while Cosmo looks on. Don does all of the talking, shooting down marriage rumors and then indulging Dora's request that he recount his road to stardom. He's an inspiration, she gushes.