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- We open with an alarm going off in a suburban home and a family scrambling to get ready for the day.
- You'd be forgiven if you confused this for another John Hughes film: Home Alone. But Joe Pesci's nowhere in sight.
- Instead, we have a teenage girl getting ready for school.
- In her room, redheaded Sam looks in the mirror and wonders why she hasn't miraculously blossomed on her sixteenth birthday.
- It hasn't happened.
- When it's time for school, the family scrambles out the door.
- Dad, who's stressed that his oldest daughter will be married soon, gives Sam advice for when she gets married: "elope."
- Sam's bratty younger brother (is there any other kind?) comments, "Who would marry her?"
- And her equally bratty younger sister says, "Mr. T." Hey, we pity the fool who wouldn't want to be Mrs. T.
- All Mom has to say is that she didn't have time to pack Sam's carrots today. What, does she have to grow them?
- Sam leaves for school, upset that her whole family "f*cking forgot" her birthday.