Brother From the Same Mother
Maybe you're the youngest of your siblings, and you can relate to Mikey. Or maybe you're the oldest, and can totally relate to Brand. Or…maybe you're a middle child, and this conversation is depressing you. (We feel your pain.)
Brand and Mikey have a complicated, but entirely typical, brother-brother relationship. To an outside eye, it might look like they don't particularly like one another. Mikey ties Brand to a chair and leaves him to fend for himself. Brand roughhouses, giving Mikey noogies and dragging him across the porch. Both yell at each other freely when at cross purposes, like when Brand is demanding that Mikey follow him home but Mikey is intent on finding the treasure.
And Brand is definitely not okay with his little brother kissing his girl. Even in the dark and with eyes closed.
But throughout everything, their mutual affection is clear. We see them embracing numerous times, and warm words are spoken…in between all the teasing. Brand is bummed about having to leave Astoria, but he knows it's affecting lil' bro even more, and we can see his heart going out to him. Plus, just the fact that he didn't straight up murder Mikey after that death-defying tricycle ride should be enough to show he cares.
Also, we don't see much of Mikey's dad. Sure, we only see one day in the life of the Walsh Bros, but it seems possible that Brand is filling the shoes of a father who isn't home all that much. He feels a responsibility to be protective of Mikey, as well as to dish out discipline when it's needed.
That would make the whole Andy thing even weirder though, so…moving on.
With all the swashbuckling and car chasing going on, there's little time for romance. But Brand manages to squeeze in time for some smooching with the apple of his eye, Andy.
Because we see her early on in the car with Troy, and then we see Troy getting a tad upset when Andy gives back his sweater, we can safely assume that those two were something of an item. But now Brand is in the picture.
Brand is an all-around good guy. He's respectful, he watches out for those close to him, he's loving and kind and smart. (Smart enough, anyway.) Now that Andy knows what it's like to be with a superjerk, Brand has to seem like a more appealing option.
Plus, Brand keeps his eye on his sweetie-pie:
BRAND: Andy! Look out! Get out of the way! Andy!
He's a man of few words…but they're all protective and sweet words.
So, naturally, there are going to be make-out sessions galore. Or at least attempts at make-out sessions galore.
Their timing, however, is…odd. Their first almost-kiss takes place right after they've seen Sloth for the first time. His face is not, we would imagine, much of an aphrodisiac, but try telling them that. Their second almost-kiss is right after all the Goonies have gone to the bathroom, when Andy mistakes Mikey for Brand. Also not the most romantic of atmospheres, if you ask us.
Their first actual kiss is in the lagoon, while the bad guys are still in firing distance and large rocks are starting to fall from above. Have these two never heard of "dinner and a movie"?
All right, so maybe it's just the nature of their circumstances. Now that the Goonie adventure is out of the way, maybe these two crazy kids can go make out in a traditional movie snogging location: we hear that Astoria has an awesome drive-in.