No, he probably wouldn't make it past the first round of the reality show—we have no way of knowing if he can even carry a tune. But man has that kid got a mouth on him.
Guess that's why they call him…Mouth.
From the moment he enters the frame to the time the closing credits start to roll, Mouth doesn't. shut. up. And most of the time it gets him into trouble. He nearly talks himself into getting his tongue sliced off in his initial encounter with the Fratellis. He's constantly creating drama with other Goonies, most notably Stef, with whom he has sort of a pull-her-pigtails-because-you-secretly-like-her sort of relationship. And the little trick he plays on Rosalita in the opening moments easily could have resulted in a call to the cops and an evening spent in an interrogation room instead of searching for pirate treasure. (He lucked out on that one.)
But Mouth's love of the spoken word isn't for nothing. He's the only one of the Goonies who speaks Spanish, which gets the gang through a number of sticky situations they probably wouldn't have been able to negotiate otherwise. The whole map was written en Español, so without their language-loving friend, they would have been down a water slide without a paddle.
Plus…he knows how to make a stirring speech. When the Goonies are in the wishing well, Mouth starts in on the Real Talk:
STEF: These are somebody else's wishes. They're somebody else's dreams.
MOUTH: Yeah, but you know what? This one, this one right here. This was my dream, my wish. And it didn't come true. So I'm taking it back. I'm taking them all back!
Aww, that makes us puddle up every time.