Evil (David Warner)
The arrogance. The superiority complex. The boiling resentment against God and all creation.
This guy may not be Satan, exactly, but he sure acts like him. Oh, yeah—that's because he's the personification of all evil—though thanks to the screenwriters and a very funny performance from David Warner, Evil is slightly less menacing than he might otherwise have been.
Evil has got an evil scheme, of course—that's kind of what evil villains do. And he delivers it in the kind of booming Doctor Doom voice of any garden-variety megalomaniac. Here's a standard quote from one of his various evil-plotting scenes:
EVIL: When I have the map, I will be free, and the world will be different, because I have understanding.
ROBERT: Understanding of what, master?
EVIL: Digital watches. And soon I shall have understanding of videocassette recorders and car telephones. And when I have understanding of them, I shall have understanding of computers. And when I have understanding of computers, I shall be the Supreme Being!
It's all pretty standard. Like Satan, Evil here wants to wrest the planet away from God and make it his own. The more of creation he controls, the more he feels he's taken from God.
Underneath all that arrogance, though, Evil is also pretty clearly very insecure. When things don't go his way, he's full of excuses—as, for example, when one of his (soon-to-be-exploded) minions asks why he remains trapped in the Fortress of Ultimate Darkness:
EVIL: Why have I let the Supreme Being keep me here...in the Fortress of Ultimate Darkness?
ROBERT: Because you—
EVIL: Oh, shut up. I'm speaking rhetorically.
ROBERT: Of course.
EVIL: I let him keep me here in order to lull him into a false sense of security.
ROBERT: Ah, clever, clever.
EVIL: When I have the map, I will be free.
Hey, the dude's got an image to uphold.
That said, Evil is still pretty much a match for the whole gang. He tricks them into the Fortress of Ultimate Darkness very easily, and then he takes the map without a second thought. Only Kevin seems to have what it takes to consistently defy him, and even he has his limits. It takes a literal act of God to stop Evil.
That's a bad guy we can definitely respect—and he's still pretty darn funny, too.