FIDGIT: Of course. We're international criminals. We do robberies!
This is the dwarves' big dream...and oddly enough, they don't even know it. They think they want to get rich but, in fact, they just want to be robbers, which isn't quite the same thing.
NAPOLEON: Yeah, 5 foot 1 and conqueror of Italy. Not bad, huh?
Napoleon is trying to prove himself to the world, and his conquest of Italy is just a reflection of that. His plans are coming true—though look at all the damage these plans are causing.
RANDALL: Listen, I've got a few ideas for a link-up...between your gang and our gang, but I only want to talk to the boss.
You haven't met the boss, have you, Randall? This is the first of many schemes that goes wrong for him—which is a pretty common fate among the various characters.
EVIL: When I have the map, I will be free, and the world will be different because I have understanding.
ROBERT: Uh, understanding of what, master?
EVIL: Digital watches. And soon I shall have understanding of videocassette recorders and car telephones. And when I have understanding of them, I shall have understanding of computers. And when I have understanding of computers, I shall be the Supreme Being!
Evil doesn't realize how much he's like the rest of the world he wants to remake. He's just trying to assert control of it, like Napoleon, Agamemnon, and the dwarves also attempt to do. But there really is no such thing as control here since the Supreme Being is all over that.
OG: I've got an idea forming in my head.
RANDALL: You haven't had an idea for thousands of years.
OG: There is a place where we could find the greatest thing man could want, the goal of everybody's hopes and dreams.
That's a pretty big order...and if you pay attention, you'll see that no one gets close to anything resembling his or her hopes and dreams in this movie. Their quest is probably doomed, though, of course, they're too greedy to notice.
AGAMEMNON: I have decreed that this boy shall remain here with us in our city.
Furthermore, he shall from this day forward be my own son...and heir to the throne of Mycenae.
It's a nice thought, but it's not going to happen. In fact, if you're familiar with Agamemnon, you know that it probably wouldn't have worked out even if the dwarves hadn't showed up.
KEVIN: Now all we need is the map.
RANDALL: What? We don't need the map. We know where the time hole is. Let's get out of here.
KEVIN: But Evil's got the map, Randall!
RANDALL: Damn right he has. Last thing we want to do is see him again. Come on.
KEVIN: But you can't leave it with him, or he'll destroy the world!
At first, Randall wants to get a move on. They know where the hole is, so they don't need a map. And they sure don't need to run into Evil. With a nudge from Kevin, though, Randall will do the right thing. So now, we have a reversal: after trying and failing to fulfill their own plans, Kevin, Randall, and the other dwarves now have to ruin Evil's plans. Hey, if they can't have it, no one can, right?
SUPREME BEING: I had to have some way of testing my handiwork. I think it turned out rather well. Don't you?
SUPREME BEING: Evil turned out rather well.
Well, at least someone's plans have come to fruition—though considering the person in question is God, that doesn't help us mere mortals much. God's plans probably are always gonna trump everybody else's.
KEVIN: You mean you let all those people die, just to test your creation?
SUPREME BEING: Yes. You really are a clever boy.
KEVIN: Why did they have to die?
SUPREME BEING: You might as well say, "Why do we have to have evil?"
RANDALL: Oh, we wouldn't dream of asking a question like that, sir.
KEVIN: Yes. Why do we have to have evil?
SUPREME BEING: Ah...I think it's something to do with free will.
God's plans, of course, can't be defied, even though those plans often result in death or suffering. It's tough, but what are you gonna do? He's God.
RANDALL: I, I was just wondering if there's, um, any chance we might have our old jobs back, sir.
SUPREME BEING: Oh, you certainly were appallingly bad robbers.
God is aware of their little plans, and as they say, when you plan, God laughs. It's a little mean to rub their noses in it, but on the other hand, these folks did almost turn the map over to Evil.