Study Guide

Apophis

  • Profile

    Outside creation lurks Apophis: the biggest, baddest serpent of one hundred percent pure evil that ever dribbled out of the mouth of a creator god by mistake. Ancient Egypt's Big Bad made life difficult for everybody—including the gods—and the gods spent a lot of time battling Apophis back into his lurking pit o' chaos.

    If you wake up one morning and the sky is red, it's because Seth's slaughtered Apophis again, so Ra (the sun) can rise. These two have been battling it out every single morning since ancient Egypt wasn't ancient, and maybe even before then. But we have to give it to Apophis: Like that famous bunny in the battery commercials, even though he's lost every sunrise battle (so far), he just keeps on going.

    Basic Information

    Name

    Apophis (Apep, Apepi)

    Nickname

    Adversary, The Uncreated, Big Bad, Enemy of Ra, Lord of Chaos, Sneaky Snake

    Sex

    Male

    Current city

    Nowhere (I exist outside creation)

    Work & Education

    Occupation

    Trying to wreck everybody's everything

    Education

    The Academy of Pure Evil

    Beliefs

    Political views

    I should rule

    Family & Friends (& Enemies)

    Parents

    Neith created me by mistake

    Siblings

    None

    Children

    All evil thoughts, actions, and spirits are my children

    Friends

    Ew… nobody

    Enemies

    Everybody

    Relationships

    Relationship status

    I hate you all

    Interested in

    My only appetite is for destruction

    Favorites

    TV Shows

    Breaking Bad: Sometimes I think you don't need me to be evil.
    I'm love True Detective. So much delicious evil.
    Vikings: Treachery, plunder, and lots of killing—what's not to love?
    Now that they got rid of Nicki Minaj… I don't have to be scared to watch American Idol anymore.

    Quotations

    "I am free of prejudice. I hate everyone equally." – W.C. Fields
    "I came in like a wrecking ball / Yeah, I just closed my eyes and swung" – Miley Cyrus
    "We often give our enemies the means of our own destruction." – Aesop
    "Get to know the monster that lives in your soul, dive deep into your soul and explore it." – Tori Amos
    "Man's greatest fear is chaos." – Marilyn Manson

    Books

    Every time George R.R. Martin kills another character in A Game of Thrones, I laugh a little bit harder. Keep it coming!
    The Forest of Hands and Teeth by Carrie Ryan
    Sounds like a great place to live, doesn't it?
    How the Grinch Stole Christmas by Dr. Seuss
    Now why'd he go and make amends? Epic villain fail.
    "The Second Coming" by William Butler Yeats
    So much evil! Bwa ha ha.
    The Throne of Fire by Rick Riordan
    At least he got me being a bad guy right.
    When I'm lonely, I can always look up my friends in The Encyclopedia of Demons and Demonology by Rosemary Ellen Guiley and summon them to dinner.
    Chaos: Making a New Science by James Gleick
    At last! Some respect.
    I'll read anything about serial killers. These people do my work in the world.

    Music

    "Dear Mama" by 2Pac
    Dear Mama: I still hate you.
    "Monster" by Kanye West feat. Jay-Z, Rick Ross, Nicki Minaj
    I'm the worst monster that ever was… but even I'm scared of Nicki….
    "Imagine" by John Lennon
    I imagine there's no heaven all the time. How come it doesn't happen?
    "Am I Evil?" by Metallica
    Yes, I am.
    "The Kill" by 30 Seconds to Mars
    I always want to break.
    "Devil Inside" by INXS
    Every single one of us.
    "Putting Holes in Happiness" by Marilyn Manson
    Sounds like a great way to spend the afternoon!
    "Wrecking Ball" by Miley Cyrus
    She makes disaster look pretty! Nice job.

    Movies

    Am I the only one who's cheering on the Nothing in The NeverEnding Story?
    Prince of Darkness
    This one even scares me.
    Shaun of the Dead
    Because even the ultimate evil has a sense of humor.
    For pure evil, nothing beats the Joker in The Dark Knight.
    Pitch Black
    All kinds of evil things live in my darkness.
    Marvel's Captain America: The Winter Soldier
    Hail HYDRA!

    Activities & Interests

    Likes

    Bad dogs
    Nuclear missiles
    Listening to people argue
    Vacuums
    Destruction

    Interests

    Entropy
    Moral theory
    Satanism
    War
    Black holes

    Groups

    Egyptian Mythology
    Evil Genius Online
    Resident Evil
    WWE Raw
    Friends of Serpent Mound

    • Spotter's Guide

      Trust us: You really don't want to see Apophis. But just in case you do happen to run into the embodiment of all the evil that's ever existed, here's a quick identification guide. You know—so you can start running. As fast as humanly possible.

      Sex: Male
      Age: Adult
      Build: I'm pretty muscular for a giant scary serpent, if I do say so myself.
      Complexion: I'm usually sporting dark black scales—some say they're golden, but it's hard to see in eternal darkness. My head is made of flint, and filled with very nasty teeth.
      Hair Color:None… I'm a serpent, remember?
      Facial Hair:
      Again, people: none.
      Scars/Marks/Tattoos:
      None, even though Seth cuts me up every sunrise.
      Jewelry and Accessories:
      Good grief—none.
      Clothing:
      What kind of serpent wears clothes? Not this guy.
      Armor:
      I don't seem to need any.
      Type of Weapon:
      Ultimate evil doesn't need a weapon to be dangerous.

      Typical Companions:

      Evil
      Disorder
      Destruction
      Lies
      Violence
      All the baddest baddies of history

      Known Hangouts:

      Outside creation
      Crime scenes
      Shadows
      Inside every evil word and thought
      House Slytherin

    • Sightings

      Oops!

      We don't know if she stuttered, tripped over the pronunciation of coelacanth, or had too much wine for breakfast, but Neith let a tiny drop of saliva fall from her mouth unintentionally as she spoke the names of all created beings into existence. That unnamed, unwanted droplet became Apophis, the Uncreator, jealous of everything he wasn't and not willing to accept any apologies.

      Jan 1, 1970

      Cue the Jaws Music

      A bowl painted with an image of a god in a boat shows a giant angry snake headed straight for it. There aren't any names written next to the pictures, but we're sure we've seen this story before. (Maybe just this sunrise, even…)

      Dec 21, 2019

      A Bad Guy for Bad Times

      Egypt wasn't a great place to be in the First Intermediate Period—there was civil war, plague, and famine. Maybe it's not so surprising that the first texts that mention Apophis by name show up at this time. He was having a blast!

      Jan 1, 1970 - Dec 20, 2019

      The Book of Overthrowing Apophis

      Egyptian priests came up with a way to help Seth and his friends in their battles against the Uncreated: prayers and magic spells called The Book of Overthrowing Apophis. In the temples each day, they prayed for Ra's victory, even torturing small wax or clay serpents molded to look like Apophis by burning them, chopping them up, or tying them with ropes and nets.

      Jan 1, 1970 - Dec 20, 2019

      ApophiSethTyphon?

      Whether it was because they had a mad on because he murdered Osiris, or Isis told them to, or they just weren't as good at reading hieroglyphs as they thought, later priests started to talk about Seth not as Apophis's enemy, but as his minion. Eventually, by the time the Ptolemies took over, Seth and Apophis were thought to be the same god—and both were also considered to be Egyptian forms of the Greek demon Typhon. (And Seth thought he didn't get any respect before that? Wow.)

      Tasty, Tasty Evil

      Just like Seth destroys Apophis at every sunrise, the Egyptian priests destroyed Apophis in his name on Egyptian New Year, the day of Ra's birthday. At sunrise, they took a cake baked in the shape of a serpent, called it a bunch of nasty names, and then carved it up with knives and ate it. Too bad they didn't have raspberry jam to put in the center of their snaky cake…