Study Guide

Centaurs

  • Profile

    The centaurs are total animals. Actually, scratch that. Really, they're just half animals, with the lower body of a horse and the upper body of a man. But even with their manly torsos, they mostly act like wild animals. The most famous tribe of these horse-men lives on Mt. Pelion in Thessaly, where they spend most of their time galloping around, swilling wine, swiping women, and hitting things with rocks. Yeah, they're not the brainiest bunch.

    Note: Chiron, the gentle centaur and teacher of the stars, was totally different from his wild cousins. Don't forget it.

    Basic Information

    Name

    Centaurs

    Nickname

    Famous centaurs:
    Eurytion (who started a war by trying to snatch his half-brother's bride)
    Nessus (who caused the death of Heracles)
    Pholus (who got into trouble for giving Heracles too much wine)
    Chiron (the gentle teacher)

    Sex

    Mostly males (some females called centaurides)

    Current city

    The woods

    Work & Education

    Occupation

    Happily unemployed

    Education

    Chiron's School of Etiquette (drop-outs, obviously)

    Beliefs

    Political views

    Pro-Zeus

    Family & Friends (& Enemies)

    Parents

    Ixion (Dad)
    Nephele (Mom)

    Siblings

    Bunches

    Children

    Um, yeah, all over the place

    Friends

    The Satyrs
    Dionysus

    Enemies

    Pirithous (the king who practically annihilated us)
    Theseus (who helped Pirithous)
    Atalanta (who also helped Pirithous)
    Heracles (who killed a bunch of us too)

    Relationships

    Relationship status

    Looking for love

    Interested in

    Centaurides (girl centaurs)
    Nymphs (all kinds)
    Human maidens

    Favorites

    TV Shows

    Hell on Wheels 
    Sons of Anarchy 
    Mr. Ed 

    Quotations

    "In Wildness is the preservation of the world."
    – Henry David Thoreau

    "Don't approach a goat from the front, a horse from the back, or a fool from any side."
    – Yiddish Proverb

    "Man is the cruelest animal."
    – Friedrich Nietzsche

    "We don't need no education."
    – Pink Floyd

    "I like girls that drink beer."
    – Toby Keith

    Books

    The Lion, the Witch, and the Wardrobe by C.S. Lewis (Lewis really gets how awesome we are) 
    All the Pretty Horses by Cormac McCarthy 
    Paul Revere's Ride by Henry Wadsworth Longfellow (Cool poem, but how come nobody knows the name of Paul's horse?) 
    Lord of the Flies by William Golding (Hmmm, guess humans can get pretty brutal, too.)
    The Call of the Wild by Jack London 
    Animal Farm by George Orwell (Boxer is the man. Well, the horse. Well, he'd be better if he was a man-horse... whatever, we like him.) 
    The Red Pony by John Steinbeck 
    Gulliver's Travels by Jonathan Swift (We're all about the smart horses of Houyhnhnm Land—even if they are a little stuck up.) 
    The Bacchae by Euripides (Dionysus really knows how to let his hair down.) 
    Slaughterhouse-Five by Kurt Vonnegut (We cry with Billy Pilgrim when he sees the suffering horses in Dresden.) 

    Music

    Down on the Street by the Stooges (Iggy, you rock our faces off.) 
    Blitzkrieg Bop by the Ramones (We miss you, Joey Ramone!)
    Sweet Home Alabama by Lynyrd Skynyrd (Yeah, we're country boys at heart.)
    Paper Planes by M.I.A. 
    Welcome to the Jungle by Guns N' Roses
    Nights of Wine and Roses by Japandroids (The new stuff we're rocking out to.) 
    Another Brick in the Wall, Part 2 by Pink Floyd (Education? What's that?)

    Movies

    Die Hard 
    The Hangover 
    Deliverance 
    Fantasia (Some of the hottest centaur ladies you'll ever see.) 
    Black Beauty 
    The Bourne Identity (Really, all the Bourne movies—he just kicks butt.) 
    All the Pretty Horses 
    The Black Stallion 

    Activities & Interests

    Likes

    Burning Man 
    Oktoberfest
    Rodeos
    Westerns

    Interests

    Oenology
    The study of ladies (oh yeah)

    Groups

    The Society for Half-Animal Rights
    Party Animals
    Horse Lovers 
    The Coalition for Centaur Rights

    • Spotter's Guide

      If you spot a creature with the upper body of a man and the lower body of a horse, then you've found yourself a centaur. The best thing to do is make a break for it. They have a reputation for being totally wild, especially when they've been drinking (which is basically all the time). Take our advice and steer clear of these horse-men, or you might regret it.

      Sex: Mostly males, though some females reported
      Age: Ranges from very young to very old
      Build: Muscular human torso, lower body of a horse
      Complexion: Bronze
      Hair Color: Mostly brown or black, sometimes white or dappled
      Facial Hair: Bushy beards
      Scars/marks/tattoos: Battle scars
      Jewelry and accessories: No way
      Clothing: None
      Armor: Nope
      Type of Weapon: Bow and arrows, clubs, rocks

      Typical Companions:

      Other centaurs
      Dionysus
      Satyrs

      Known Hangouts:

      Thessaly
      Mt. Pelion
      Woods

    • Sightings

      Dec 20, 2019 - Dec 20, 2019

      The Library of History by Diodorus Siculus

      This ancient text says that the myth of centaurs began when people saw other tribes riding horses for the first time. (Way to burst our bubble, Diodorus.)

      Dec 20, 2019 - Dec 20, 2019

      The Metamorphoses by Ovid

      There are tons of centaurs getting into all kinds of trouble in Ovid's classic collection of mythological poems.

      Dec 20, 2019 - Dec 20, 2019

      Imagines by Philostratus, the Elder

      Get the lowdown on Chiron, Achilles, and the surprisingly sexy female centaurs in this ancient text.

      Dec 20, 2019 - Dec 20, 2019

      The Inferno by Dante Alighieri

      In this epic poem, Dante and Virgil go head to head with Chiron, Nessus, and a whole herd of centaurs in the seventh circle of Hell.

      Dec 20, 2019

      Fantasia

      Herds of handsome centaurs and lovely "centaurettes" do a little courting in this classic Disney movie.

      Dec 20, 2019

      The Lion, the Witch, and the Wardrobe by C.S. Lewis

      The noble centaurs in this novel and the rest of the Chronicles of Narnia are kick-butt warriors and loyal followers of Aslan, the Lion.

      Dec 20, 1963

      A Wrinkle in Time by Madeleine L'Engle

      The mysterious Mrs. Whatsit turns out to be a winged centaur in this Newbery Medal-winning young adult classic.

      Dec 20, 1997 - Dec 20, 2019

      The Harry Potter Series

      Firenze, the centaur, is on the outs with his wild cousins for being a human-lover in this mega-popular series.

      Dec 20, 2019 - Dec 20, 2019

      The Harry Potter movies

      Don't miss Firenze and all the other centaurs that trot their way through this magical film franchise.

      Dec 20, 2019 - Dec 20, 2019

      The Percy Jackson and the Olympians and Heroes of Olympus Series by Rick Riordan

      Chiron the Centaur and some of his rowdy cousins put in lots of appearances in this series of novels.

      Dec 20, 2019 - Dec 20, 2019

      Chronicles of Narnia (movies)

      Lots of butt-kicking centaurs are galloping their way through the newest Narnia film franchise.

      Dec 20, 2019

      Percy Jackson and the Olympians: The Lightning Thief

      Check out Pierce Brosnan as Chiron in the movie version of The Lightning Thief.

      Dec 20, 2019

      God of War Series

      Brutal centaur warriors duke it out with the even more brutal Kratos in this grisly series of video games.