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Menelaus was the king of Sparta, but he’s most famous for getting royally dumped. When his gorgeous wife Helen ran off with Paris, the pretty boy of Troy, Menelaus was beyond angry. He called up his powerful brother Agamemnon and together they drafted the who’s who of Greece to sail to Troy and avenge Menelaus’ honor. Next thing you know, the biggest army of Greeks the world had ever seen was knocking on the gates of Troy, and the Trojan War swiftly kicked into high gear. Ten years and one giant wooden horse later, Troy was in ruins, and Helen was back in her husband’s arms. The lesson here? Never make a Spartan mad.
King of Sparta
Ares' Academy of War
Death to all Trojans!
Hermione (with Helen)
Agamemnon (my brother who really came through for me when Helen ran off)
Paris (who took off with my wife)
Married to Helen (it’s extremely complicated)
My wife (I just can’t help it. Have you seen what she looks like?)
“No adultery is bloodless”
Anna Karenina (Here’s a heroine I love to hate. Adultery is not cool, Anna!)
Your Cheatin’ Heart by Hank Williams (kind of my anthem)
300 (Don’t mess with Sparta!)
Heroes of the Trojan War