Menelaus
Profile
Menelaus was the king of Sparta, but he’s most famous for getting royally dumped. When his gorgeous wife Helen ran off with Paris, the pretty boy of Troy, Menelaus was beyond angry. He called up his powerful brother Agamemnon and together they drafted the who’s who of Greece to sail to Troy and avenge Menelaus’ honor. Next thing you know, the biggest army of Greeks the world had ever seen was knocking on the gates of Troy, and the Trojan War swiftly kicked into high gear. Ten years and one giant wooden horse later, Troy was in ruins, and Helen was back in her husband’s arms. The lesson here? Never make a Spartan mad.
Basic Information
Name Menelaus
Nickname Agamemnon's Brother
Sex Male
Current city Elysium
Work & Education
Occupation King of Sparta
WarriorEducation Ares' Academy of War
Beliefs
Political views Death to all Trojans!
Family & Friends (& Enemies)
Parents Pleisthenes (Dad)
Aerope (Mom)Siblings Agamemnon
AnaxibaChildren Hermione (with Helen)
Megapenthes (with some slave woman)Friends Agamemnon (my brother who really came through for me when Helen ran off)
Odysseus (more like work buddies)Enemies Paris (who took off with my wife)
Every Citizen of Troy (just because)Relationships
Relationship status Married to Helen (it’s extremely complicated)
Interested in My wife (I just can’t help it. Have you seen what she looks like?)
Favorites
TV Shows Quotations “No adultery is bloodless”
– Natalia Ginzburg
“When tears come down like falling rain,
You'll toss around and call my name.
You'll walk the floor the way I do.
Your cheatin' heart will tell on you.”
– Hank Williams
“Death is the mother of beauty.”
– Wallace Stevens
“Well I hope that I don't fall in love with you
'Cause falling in love just makes me blue,
Well the music plays and you display your heart for me to see,
I had a beer and now I hear you calling out for me
And I hope that I don't fall in love with you.”
– Tom Waits
“In order for a man to be truly evil, he must be a woman.”
– Craig BruceBooks Anna Karenina (Here’s a heroine I love to hate. Adultery is not cool, Anna!)
“No Second Troy” by William Butler Yeats
A Game of Thrones by George R. R. Martin
“She Walks in Beauty” by Lord Byron
“The Charge of the Light Brigade” by Alfred, Lord Tennyson
“The Short Happy Life of Francis Macomber” by Ernest Hemingway
“Beat! Beat! Drums!” by Walt Whitman
The Iliad by Homer (even though there should be way more of me in this one)
The Things They Carried by Tim O’Brien
The Taming of the Shrew by William Shakespeare (sometimes I think the shrew tamed me)Music Your Cheatin’ Heart by Hank Williams (kind of my anthem)
I Hope That I Don’t Fall in Love with You by Tom Waits (but I did)
The Wind by the Zac Brown Band
Drunk on You by Luke Bryan (makes me think of when things were good with me and Helen)
Head Full of Doubt by the Avett Brothers
Maneater by Hall and Oates (lookin’ at you Helen!)
Somethin’ Bout a Truck by Kip Moore
Warrior’s Call by Volbeat (Rock it out.)Movies 300 (Don’t mess with Sparta!)
Hot Tub Time Machine (a new classic)
Anna Karenina (Grrrr...)
Unfaithful
Fight Club (Yeah, I definitely see myself as the Brad Pitt type.)
The Hangover
Apocalypse Now (Most of my life was apocalypse always.)
The Dark Knight RisesActivities & Interests
Likes The Society for Creative Anachronisms
Paintball
Beauty pageantsInterests Royal history
Battle tacticsGroups Heroes of the Trojan War
Union of Kings
Victims of Adultery Support Group
VeteransSpotter's Guide
Menelaus is a big dude with an even bigger chip on his shoulder. We can’t say we blame him, though. When his wife, Helen, ran off with Paris of Troy, Menelaus was the laughing stock of all of Greece. You'd think he would’ve gotten over it after he annihilated Troy and took her back. But from what we hear, they’re still having problems even though they’re living in splendor down in Elysium. You’ll know Menelaus when you see him. He’ll be the guy with the prettiest girl ever on his arm, but the nastiest scowl ever on his face.
Sex: Male
Age: Middle-aged
Build: Muscular
Complexion: Tan
Hair Color: Dark brown
Facial Hair: Big beard
Scars/marks/tattoos: Battle scars
Jewelry and accessories: Crown of Sparta
Clothing: Regal robes
Armor: Well-made and well-worn
Type of Weapon: Spears, swords, shieldsTypical Companions:
Agamemnon
OdysseusKnown Hangouts:
Sparta
Troy
ElysiumSightings
Dec 20, 2019 - Dec 20, 2019
The Iliad by Homer
Menelaus and Agamemnon kick some Trojan butt in this definitive poem about the Trojan War.
Dec 20, 2019 - Dec 20, 2019
The Odyssey by Homer
Odysseus’ son Telemachus pops in on Helen and Menelaus in Sparta in this sequel to the Iliad.
Dec 20, 2019 - Dec 20, 2019
Ajax by Sophocles
Menelaus orders that Ajax’s body not be buried in this tragedy of Trojan War.
Dec 20, 2019 - Dec 20, 2019
Andromache by Euripides
Years after the Trojan War, Menelaus and his daughter Hermione terrorize their Trojan captive, Andromache, in this tragedy.
Dec 20, 2019
Helen by Euripides
In this crazy tragedy, Menelaus discovers that the Helen who Paris took to Troy was just a phantom and that his real wife was spirited away to Egypt by the gods. (Say what?)
Dec 20, 2019
Orestes by Euripides
Orestes and Electra are sentenced to death by Menelaus for killing Clytemnestra in this tragedy. (We wonder what Agamemnon would think about that.)
Dec 20, 2019
The Trojan Women by Euripides
Helen uses her feminine wiles to convince her husband not to execute her in this tragedy. (Oh, Menelaus...you really fell for that?)
Dec 20, 2019 - Dec 20, 2019
Iphigenia in Aulis by Euripides
In this tragedy, Menelaus convinces Agamemnon to sacrifice his daughter Iphigenia so that the Greek armies can sail to Troy. Talk about a major favor.
Dec 20, 0299 - Dec 20, 0399
The Fall of Troy by Quintus Smyrnaeus
In this epic poem, Agamemnon, Menelaus, and the rest of the Greeks totally destroy Troy.
Dec 20, 2019
Troilus and Cressida by William Shakespeare
Agamemnon and Menelaus are both minor characters in this “problem” play about love gone wrong in the Trojan War.
Dec 20, 2019
Troy
This Hollywood blockbuster remixes Greek mythology by having Menelaus die at the hands of Hector during the Trojan War.
Dec 20, 2019
Iphigenia 2.0 by Charles Mee
Menelaus pops up in this totally postmodern remix of Euripides’ Iphigenia at Aulis. (Be prepared for craziness.)
Dec 20, 2019
Marvel Illustrated: The Iliad
Check out Menelaus in Marvel Comics’ awesome adaption of Homer’s Iliad.
Dec 20, 2019
The Trojan War
Marvel kicks out yet another digital comic about the Trojan War—Menelaus included.
Dec 20, 2019
These Seven Sicknesses by Sean Graney
Menelaus acts like Agamemnon’s clueless sidekick in this modernized marathon of all of Sophocles’ extant plays.