Theseus
Profile
Theseus was a big deal hero and king of Athens. His biggest claim to fame was braving the Labyrinth of Crete where he slayed the man-eating Minotaur, a monster with the body of a man and the head of a bull. No big deal. Before that, he kicked the butts of six unruly bandits whose queen he'd kidnapped, bringing law and order to the land around Athens. Bottom line: Theseus was an awesome hero. But that didn't stop him from being a total womanizer, which got him into trouble all the time. Eventually, it even cost him the throne of Athens. Womp womp.
Basic Information
Name Theseus
Nickname The Matador, The Lady's Man
Sex Male
Current city Elysium
Work & Education
Occupation King of Athens (retired), Minotaur Slayer (retired)
Education The Ares School of War
Dike's Academy of Law and Order (it was great studying with the goddess of justice herself)Beliefs
Political views If every ruler governed their land as well as I did Athens, the world would be a better place. Just sayin'.
Family & Friends (& Enemies)
Parents Aegeus and (maybe) Poseidon (Fathers)
Aethra (Mother)Children Hippolytus, Demophon, Acamas
Friends Pirithous (My BFF)
Heracles (Who saved me from the Underworld)
Buffy
Abraham LincolnEnemies King Minos (still mad at me for killing the Minotaur)
The Minotaur (for obvious reasons)
The Amazons (I kidnapped their Queen, Hippolyta)
Hippolyta (see above)
Ariadne (she's still pretty upset that I ditched her on an island)
Helen (not too friendly with me because I kidnapped her when she was a kid)
Castor and PolluxRelationships
Relationship status Fling with Ariadne
Hippolyta (First wife)
Phaedra (Second wife)
Tried to marry Helen, but it didn't work out
(Yeah, I get around)Interested in Battle-ology
Daring do-ology
Justice-ology
Seduction-ology
(I don't need to know the fancy terms—it's the action that counts)Favorites
TV Shows Game of Thrones
Mad Men (that Don Draper has a way with the ladies!)
Hercules: The Legendary Journeys
Buffy the Vampire Slayer (I know she's a lady, but she's the bomb)Quotations "A warrior never worries about his fear."
– Carlos Castaneda
"Whoever fights monsters should see to it that he does not become a monster. And if you gaze into the abyss long enough, the abyss will gaze back at you."
– Friedrich Nietzsche
"The basic difference between an ordinary man and a warrior is that a warrior takes everything as a challenge, while an ordinary man takes everything as a blessing or a curse."
– Miyamoto Musashi
"I need a hero, I'm holding out for a hero
'Til the end of the night
He's gotta be strong
He's gotta be fast
And he's gotta be fresh from the fight."
– Bonnie Tyler (she was totally talking about me)Books All the King's Men by Robert Penn Warren
The Sun Also Rises by Ernest Hemingway (love the bullfighting)
The Lord of the Rings series by J.R.R. Tolkien
Ivanhoe by Sir Walter Scott
Henry IV, Part 1 by William Shakespeare
Henry IV, Part 2 by William Shakespeare
The Three Musketeers by Alexandre Dumas
Sir Gawain and the Green Knight (Anonymous)
A Game of Thrones by George R. R. Martin
"Beat! Beat! Drums!" by Walt WhitmanMusic I Need a Hero by Bonnie Tyler
We Will Rock You by Queen
Glory Days by Bruce Springsteen
Don't Stop Believin' by Journey
Love Bites by Def Leppard (reminds me of Phaedra)
Margaritaville by Jimmy Buffet
Minotaur by the Clientele
I Need a Hero by Frau FrauActivities & Interests
Likes Bullfighting
Paintball
Margaritas
Garden Mazes
Ladies' NightGroups Heroes of Greece
Kings of Athens
BullfightersSpotter's Guide
To chill with this famous slayer of the Minotaur, you'll have to head down to the Land of the Dead; more specifically, the Elysian Islands, where the honored dead are supposed to hang out. Theseus is probably down there drinking margaritas with Jason, Perseus, Achilles, and all his other Greek bros. It might be tough to tell him apart from his hero buddies, though. After all, most of them look pretty similar: tall, young, and ripped. Yep, Theseus fits right in with all the mega-jocks of ancient Greece.
Sex: Male
Age: Prefers to think of himself as a young man
Build: Super muscular
Complexion: Tan
Hair Color: Brown
Facial Hair: Clean shaven
Scars/marks/tattoos: Battle scars (the ladies love 'em)
Jewelry and accessories: The crown of Athens (until it got taken away)
Clothing: Only the finest robes
Armor: Yep, and it's bright and shiny
Type of Weapon: Sword, spear, knifeTypical Companions:
Ariadne (until he ditched her on an island, that is)
Hippolyta (oh, until he gave her the boot, to…)
Phaedra (until she fell in love with Theseus's son and killed herself)
Pirithous (this one didn't end well either)Known Hangouts:
Athens
Crete (For a brief Minotaur-hunting trip)
ElysiumSightings
Jan 1, 1970
Hippolytus by Euripides
In this tragedy, Theseus makes a major boo boo when he believes Phaedra's accusations about his son, Hippolytus. Oops.
Dec 20, 2019
Oedipus at Colonus by Sophocles
The king of Athens shows he's got a little heart when he allows poor bedraggled Oedipus a quiet place to die in this tragic play.
Dec 20, 2019
The Metamorphoses by Ovid
Theseus makes a name for himself by kicking some Minotaur tail in Book 8 of Ovid's classic collection of poems.
Dec 20, 2019 - Dec 20, 2019
The Canterbury Tales: The Knight's Tale by Geoffrey Chaucer
In this medieval classic, two love-struck knights cause Theseus a ton of trouble.
Dec 20, 1595
A Midsummer Night's Dream by William Shakespeare
Shakespeare's popular comedy tells the story of young lovers who run into trouble with some fairies the night before Theseus and Hippolyta get married.
Dec 20, 2019
Two Nobel Kinsmen by William Shakespeare and John Fletcher
Shakespeare's romantic riff on Chaucer's "Knights Tale"—Theseus and Hippolyta included.
Dec 20, 1677
Phaedra by Jean Baptiste Racine
The tragedy of Phaedra's unfortunate crush is played out for your entertainment in this play by Racine.
Dec 20, 1996
Hercules: The Legendary Journeys
Heracles gives a young Theseus some lessons in heroism in this not-to-be-missed TV series.
Dec 20, 2019
God of War II
Kratos vs. Theseus: who will win? We guess it just depends on how good you are at video games.
Dec 20, 2019
Immortals
Check out this big-budget Hollywood riff on Greek mythology, and look forward to tons of Theseus action and some pretty tight battle scenes.