MERCUTIO
You are a lover. Borrow Cupid's wings
And soar with them above a common bound
ROMEO
I am too sore enpiercèd with his shaft
To soar with his light feathers, and so bound,
I cannot bound a pitch above dull woe.
Under love's heavy burden do I sink.
MERCUTIO
And to sink in it should you burden love—
Too great oppression for a tender thing.
ROMEO
Is love a tender thing? It is too rough,
Too rude, too boist'rous, and it pricks like thorn.
MERCUTIO
If love be rough with you, be rough with love.
Prick love for pricking, and you beat love down.
(1.4.17-28)
Romeo and Mercutio describe love in violent and painful terms.
Quote 2
MERCUTIO
O, then I see Queen Mab hath been with you.
She is the fairies' midwife, and she comes
In shape no bigger than an agate stone
On the forefinger of an alderman, […]
And in this state she gallops night by night
Through lovers' brains, and then they dream of love; […]
O'er ladies' lips, who straight on kisses dream,
Which oft the angry Mab with blisters plagues
Because their breaths with sweetmeats tainted are. […]
This is the hag, when maids lie on their backs,
That presses them and learns them first to bear,
Making them women of good carriage.
This is she—
(1.4.58-61; 75-76; 79-81; 97-100)
Mercutio equates sexuality with a madness that visits people in dreams. Sexuality is also interpreted as oppressive, with Queen Mab – the love-fairy – weighing down virgins while they sleep.
Quote 3
MERCUTIO
Romeo! Humors! Madman! Passion! Lover!
Appear thou in the likeness of a sigh.
Speak but one rhyme, and I am satisfied.
Cry but 'Ay me,' pronounce but 'love' and
'dove.'
Speak to my gossip Venus one fair word,
One nickname for her purblind son and heir,
Young Adam Cupid, he that shot so trim
When King Cophetua loved the beggar maid.—
He heareth not, he stirreth not, he moveth not.
The ape is dead, and I must conjure him.—
I conjure thee by Rosaline's bright eyes,
By her high forehead, and her scarlet lip,
By her fine foot, straight leg, and quivering thigh,
And the demesnes that there adjacent lie,
That in thy likeness thou appear to us.
(2.1.9-24)
Mercutio mocks love, reducing Romeo's supposed love for Rosaline to mere lust.
Quote 4
MERCUTIO
This [Queen Mab] is the hag, when maids lie on their backs,
That presses them and learns them first to bear,
Making them women of good carriage.
This is she—
(1.4.97-100)
Mercutio doesn't see much to laugh about. To him, sex is almost literally madness—and an oppressive one, like Queen Mab—the love-fairy—weighing down virgins while they sleep.
Quote 5
MERCUTIO
I conjure thee by Rosaline's bright eyes,
By her high forehead, and her scarlet lip,
By her fine foot, straight leg, and quivering thigh
And the demesnes that there adjacent lie,
That in thy likeness thou appear to us.
(2.1.20-24)
We managed to read this without blushing, but Mercutio is actually being pretty insulting here: he's breaking Rosaline down into parts like the popular poetic blazon http://www.ic.arizona.edu/ic/mcbride/ws200/renlyric.htm, but he's being dirty about it. The "demesnes" that like "adjacent" to her "quivering thigh" are her genitals. (Makes you wonder if the people assigning Romeo and Juliet in high school actually understand Shakespeare, doesn't it?)
Quote 6
MERCUTIO
If love be blind, love cannot hit the mark.
Now will he sit under a medlar tree
And wish his mistress were that kind of fruit
As maids call medlars, when they laugh alone.—
O Romeo, that she were, O, that she were
An open-arse, thou a pop'rin pear.
(2.1.36-41)
What, you don't get why this is funny? Let us explain: A "medlar" is a fruit that looks—to the Elizabethans, at least, like a certain body part—so much so, that they called it an "open-arse" (which would almost certainly have meant female genitalia, and not what we'd associated with "arse.") And then there's the "open et caetera," which means, well, an open vagina; and a "poperin pear," which sounds suspiciously like "pop-her-in." In other words, Mercutio wishes Romeo's mistress were sexually available to him.
MERCUTIO
Nay, I'll conjure too.
Romeo! Humors! Madman! Passion! Lover!
Appear thou in the likeness of a sigh.
Speak but one rhyme, and I am satisfied.
Cry but 'Ay me,' pronounce but 'love' and
'dove.'
[…]
I must conjure him.—
I conjure thee by Rosaline's bright eyes,
By her high forehead, and her scarlet lip,
By her fine foot, straight leg and quivering thigh,
And the demesnes that there adjacent lie,
That in thy likeness thou appear to us. (2.1.8-13, 19-24)
Here, Mercutio tries to flush Romeo out of his hiding spot in the Capulet's yard by mocking his crush on Rosaline. (Mercutio has no idea that Romeo has just fallen in love with Juliet.) When Mercutio pretends to be Rosaline calling to her "lover" Romeo and begging him to recite some love poetry ("speak but one rhyme"), he sounds like a typical schoolboy giving his buddy a hard time.
But then, Mercutio's teasing turns ugly as he proceeds to list Rosaline's body parts—her "bright eyes," "high forehead," "straight leg," "quivering thigh," and, finally, the genitals that are "adjacent" to her thigh. Basically, Mercutio's description of Rosaline is a dirty version of what's called a "blazon," a poetic technique that catalogues a woman's body parts (and often makes comparisons between said body parts and yummy things in nature—lips like cherries, breasts like melons, etc.). Shakespeare likes to mock this poetic convention. Compare Mercutio's lines (above) to Sonnet 130.
Quote 8
MERCUTIO
I am hurt.
A plague o' both your houses! I am sped.
Is he gone and hath nothing?
BENVOLIO
What, art thou hurt?
MERCUTIO
Ay, ay, a scratch, a scratch. Marry, 'tis enough.
Where is my page?—Go, villain, fetch a surgeon.
ROMEO
Courage, man, the hurt cannot be much.
MERCUTIO
No, 'tis not so deep as a well, nor so wide as
a church-door; but 'tis enough. 'Twill serve. Ask for
me tomorrow, and you shall find me a grave man. I
am peppered, I warrant, for this world. A plague o'
both your houses! 'Zounds, a dog, a rat, a mouse, a
cat, to scratch a man to death! A braggart, a rogue, a
villain that fights by the book of arithmetic! Why the
devil came you between us? I was hurt under your arm.
ROMEO
I thought all for the best.
MERCUTIO
Help me into some house, Benvolio,
Or I shall faint. A plague o' both your houses!
They have made worms' meat of me.
I have it, and soundly too. Your houses!
(3.1.94-113)
Mercutio blames both the Montagues and the Capulets for his death.
Quote 9
MERCUTIO
No, 'tis not so deep as a well, nor so wide as a
church door, but 'tis enough. 'Twill serve. Ask for
me tomorrow, and you shall find me a grave man. I
am peppered, I warrant, for this world. A plague o'
both your houses! 'Zounds, a dog, a rat, a mouse, a
cat, to scratch a man to death! A braggart, a rogue, a
villain, that fights by the book of arithmetic! Why the
devil came you between us? I was hurt under your
arm.
(3.1.100-109)
Mercutio doesn't bother blaming fate for his death—he places the blame squarely on the family feud. Is he right?
Quote 10
MERCUTIO
Why, is not this better now than groaning
for love? now art thou sociable, now art thou
Romeo, now art thou what thou art, by art as well as
by nature. For this driveling love is like a great
natural that runs lolling up and down to hide his
bauble in a hole.
(2.4.90-95)
Translation: being in love makes Romeo seem like a "natural," i.e. someone who's mentally challenged, and runs around trying to hide a toy. Hm. Is Mercutio a little jealous of Juliet? Is he worried that she's going to break up the band, Yoko-style?
MERCUTIO
O, then I see Queen Mab hath been with you.
She is the fairies' midwife, and she comes
In shape no bigger than an agate stone
On the fore-finger of an alderman,
[…]
This is the hag, when maids lie on their backs,
That presses them and learns them first to bear,
Making them women of good carriage.
This is she—ROMEO
Peace, peace, Mercutio, peace.
Thou talk'st of nothing.MERCUTIO
True, I talk of dreams,
Which are the children of an idle brain, (1.4.58-61; 97-104)
Fed up with Romeo's lovesick moping for Rosaline and his claim that he had a steamy "dream" the night before, Mercutio taunts his buddy by saying that Queen Mab must have paid him a visit. (Queen Mab is a tiny fairy that brings dreams to lovers like Romeo and you can read more about her in "Symbols.") Mercutio also informs Romeo that dreams "are the children of an idle brain," which is another way of saying that Romeo is an idiot and his dreams about Rosaline are ridiculous (1.4). Given the context of the speech, it seems like Mercutio is suggesting that, like Queen Mab, dreams (especially Romeo's) are small and insignificant.
But Mercutio isn't the only one to point out when his pal is behaving foolishly. Romeo criticizes Mercutio's crazy rant when he yells "Peace, peace, Mercutio, peace! Thou talk'st of nothing."