Tales of the Madman Underground Part 5, Chapter 22 Summary

Paradise Lost, Beds***ter Found, Paradise Regained (Sunday, September 9, 1973)

  • Paul and Karl get up around 8:00 a.m. and eat cereal while making fun of the religious programs on TV. Fun fact: Apparently, the world was supposed to end in 1980.
  • Paul gets paid to sing at his church, so he has to shake a leg. Before he leaves, he tells Karl that the stuff that happened the previous week is officially over and when they're Browning's age, they'll still be buddies.
  • With Paul gone, Karl gets started on re-glazing the storm windows, one of the tasks his dad left behind for him to do to take care of the house. He decides to get it done by the time Darla gets off work at 2:00 p.m.
  • Obviously, he's still thinking about her offer—you know, the whole cat-killing-and-sex one.
  • Marti's mom calls and leaves a really complex message for Karl's mom that involves Nixon, the Bermuda Triangle, and getting together that night to smoke pot and get drunk. Typical.
  • He's in the middle of taking down the message when Bill's car rolls up in front of his house. He and Karl's mom come in, and Karl gladly passes the phone call off to her and goes back outside.
  • His intention is to get going on the storm windows, but then Bill comes outside and decides he wants to chitchat since Karl's mom is wrapped up in her talk with Marti's mom.
  • Bill needs to talk to Karl's mom before he leaves, so he helps Karl with the windows until then. He confesses that he stood up Karl's mom Friday night because he got scared she'd reject him and went and drank all night instead.
  • He also met her in a bar a couple nights before that. At least he's honest that he has a drinking problem. Karl figures their relationship will last about a week, which is sad because Bill is a step up from the other guys she's dated.
  • Because of the help, Karl gets done with enough time to shower and change before going to Pongo's to meet Darla. He takes a shower and fantasizes about her boobs. Hey, we're just being real here, guys.
  • After the shower, Karl goes into his room and catches Hairball, the cat that's kind of his, taking a poop on his bed and staring innocently at Karl. This makes him feel all kinds of weird—now, he's going to have to kill his cat in order to get it on with Darla.
  • Still, his desire to have sex with Darla trumps his feelings for the cat, and he puts Hairball in a pillowcase and calls Darla, telling her the cat has been acquired and he's ready.
  • He takes along a box cutter and garden shears. He's unsure of exactly what to do, but he'll figure it out when he gets there.