This Means War…But Not Yet
- Brachiano's wife, Isabella, enters with her brother Francisco, Cardinal Monticelso (Camillo's uncle), Marcello (Flamineo and Vittoria's brother), and Giovanni (Isabella and Brachiano's young son).
- Francisco and Isabella talk about Brachiano's suspected infidelity, and Francisco promises to give Giovanni a horse as a present. Marcello and Giovanni exit to fit the horse.
- Isabella tells Francisco to gently reason with Brachiano—she wants to charm him into staying true to her. She exits, as Flamineo and Brachiano enter.
- Monticelso tells Brachiano that he's dishonoring his noble title by pursuing Vittoria and that, when he gets over his lustful obsesson, he'll see how horribly he's behaving and repent.
- Brachiano cockily asks Francisco what he has to say, and Francisco replies with a threatening metaphor comparing himself to an eagle hunting dunghill birds (like the Duke).
- He attacks the Duke for trying to seduce Vittoria and calls her a strumpet. Oh no he didn't! The Duke says that if Vittoria was his mistress, all Francisco's cannons couldn't take her away from him.
- Francisco dismisses this suggestion of war, but then says he wishes he'd never let the Duke marry Isabella, and that they probably will go to war.
- Francisco says that they came to consult Brachiano about pirates, but he's always busy—he probably will only stop being busy when the pirate problem has grown totally out of control.
Marriage Woes
- Giovanni re-enters and the Cardinal says that the Duke should try to set an example for his good and noble son.
- Giovanni talks about how he's been practicing throwing a pike, and how, when he's a general, he'll charge at the front of his army, and free prisoners without charging ransom. Francisco and he joke about this, with Giovanni wittily discussing how he'll manage to pay his troops.
- Giovanni's presence makes Francisco and Brachiano reconcile.
- Francisco is looking for Camillo to discuss how Count Lodovico has become a pirate—he leaves with Monticelso and Giovanni. Isabella enters.
- Brachiano asks what brought her here, and she says devotion. Brachiano, irritated, tells her to go to her room. He refuses to kiss her and is disgusted by her efforts to win him back. Cynically, he even suggests that only came here (to Rome—which, it is now revealed, is where they are) to find a lover of her own.
- Isabella is upset, but Brachiano continues: he attacks Francisco, "the great duke" (Duke of Florence), and claims that the only thing that's great about him is his wardrobe. He curses Francisco, and the priest who married him and Isabella, and his own "issue" (Giovanni, his son).
- Isabella says he's gone too far.
- Brachiano swears by his wedding ring he'll never sleep with her again, and says that they're effectively divorced. He tells her to go whine about it to Francisco.
- Isabella, with her heart broken, nobly says she's going to preserve peace by pretending that she said she would refuse to sleep with him, and wants a divorce.
- Francisco, Flamineo, Monticelso, and Camillo all re-enter.
- Isabella puts on a show—when Francisco tries to get them to reconcile, she calls Vittoria a "whore," and generally acts like she's really jealous and enraged. She wishes she had the power of a man, and could murder Vittoria. Isabella swears on her wedding ring that she'll never sleep with the Duke again. Brachiano plays along, acting like he's angry.
- Francisco says she's mad and jealous, claiming she broke her promise to gently convince the Duke.
- Isabella, internally grief-stricken, leaves, saying she's headed to Padua.
What's Up, Doc?
- Camillo enters. Flamineo takes the Duke aside and introduces the corrupt doctor (Julio) who will help poison Isabella. Flamineo jokes about the doctor's seedy ways, before they dispatch him after Isabella. Flamineo personally says he's going to kill Camillo and make it look like an accident.
- The doctor exits (as, apparently, do Flamineo and Brachiano). Camillo, Monticelso, Marcello, and Francisco come forward.
- Monticelso shows Camillo an emblem of a weeping stag with no antlers someone threw in Camillo's window—it means he's a cuckold.
- Francisco says that it's a good thing Camillo has no children—in Greek myth, says Francisco, people made sure the sun god, Phoebus, never had kids, by asking Zeus to castrate him. They couldn't tolerate more than one sun: it would be too hot. Francisco applies this to Vittoria—they wouldn't want more than one of her in the world.
- Monticelso and Francisco give Camillo, with Marcello as joint-commissioner, the job of ridding the Italian coast of pirates. Camillo is worried his wife will cheat on him even more before he gets back, but Monticelso says he'll try to make sure that doesn't happen. Camillo is still worried and plans on getting drunk tonight. He and Marcello exit.
- Monticelso and Francisco admit that they're making Camillo a sea captain so they can see what will happen if the Duke tries to seduce Vittoria—which they want to prevent.
- They also reveal the Count Lodovico, though rumored a pirate, is actually now in Padua. Apparently, Lodovico is hot for Isabella and wants to seduce her.
- They wish Brachiano wouldn't damage his name by pursuing adultery, but feel that's he's going to do it. They leave, in order to see what goes down.