A Beautiful Young Nymph Going to Bed: Oh, How Hollywood

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…we’re surprised the sun isn’t up by the time she’s under the covers.

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This poem still holds up today, because it’s about timeless vanity, and the extreme lengths

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many people will go to in order to achieve beauty.

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Surprisingly, things haven’t changed that much since the 1700s.

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As part of her nightly ritual, Swift’s subject removes her artificial hair at the end of

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the day…

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Today, some people wear hair extensions, everything from glued-in strands of real human hair to

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a cheap, sewn-in polyester weave. While the modern gal dons fake eyelashes made

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from mink fur…

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…the classic nymph peels off eyebrows made from a mouse’s hide.

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Not as sophisticated, but as long as she doesn’t dab on a beauty marks made from mouse droppings,

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it’s not too bad. Ladies lacking in the bust department used

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to use wadded-up rags to prop up… the girls.

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Bosom technology is much more advanced today, ranging from push-up bras and chicken cutlets

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for adding a little extra, all the way to implants.

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Finally, if you have extra in all the wrong places, you used to need a small army of servants

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to be roped into a steel-ribbed bodice.

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Today, it’s as easy as pouring yourself into skin-tight Spanx, which transport your

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fat to another dimension.

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It’s likely that the 18th-century babe needed false teeth as an alternative to gumming her

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corn on the cob.

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Today, dental care is just as much about beauty as it is about health. Instead of false teeth,

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we have veneers and UV-whitening.

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Still, don’t go trying to open bottles with your chompers.

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Whether it’s 18th-century or modern day, it takes a lot of extra work to achieve a

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certain look.

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What was Swift trying to say about beauty with this poem?

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Does it still apply today? Shmoop amongst yourselves.