CAHSEE ELA 1.1 Writing: Revision

Writing: Revision Drill, Problem 1. Which of the following would be the best opening sentence for this essay?

CAHSEE ELA: WritingRevision
CAHSEE WritingRevision
LanguageEnglish Language
Sentence LogicModifying Phrases and Clauses
Writing StrategiesRevise Writing

Transcript

00:25

...we just need to go through the answer choices one by one and see what they've got to say

00:30

for themselves. A... "This is an essay about Franklin Delano

00:35

Roosevelt." Ugh. Boring. If that was the first sentence

00:37

we read of anything, it would also be the last. Pass.

00:41

B... "Franklin Delano Roosevelt was one of America's most popular, most inspiring,

00:46

and most influential presidents." Ooh... maybe. It certainly seems to encompass

00:51

everything this passage is saying. We'll come back to it.

00:54

C... "FDR was a really great president who did a lot of really great things."

00:58

Um... just learning English much? Sounds like someone was out partying too late last night

01:04

and is trying to fake her way through an oral report. Next...

01:07

D... "Franklin Delano Roosevelt was a president who inspired a lot of people, and that's why

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I'm writing this paper about him." This sentence uses first-person, which is

01:17

a definite no-no. Unless you knew FDR personally, in which case... go for it.

01:24

B is looking like a sure bet. As in, "Buddies."