Writing: Revision Drill, Problem 1. Which of the following would be the best opening sentence for this essay?
|CAHSEE ELA: Writing||Revision|
|Sentence Logic||Modifying Phrases and Clauses|
|Writing Strategies||Revise Writing|
...we just need to go through the answer choices one by one and see what they've got to say
for themselves. A... "This is an essay about Franklin Delano
Roosevelt." Ugh. Boring. If that was the first sentence
we read of anything, it would also be the last. Pass.
B... "Franklin Delano Roosevelt was one of America's most popular, most inspiring,
and most influential presidents." Ooh... maybe. It certainly seems to encompass
everything this passage is saying. We'll come back to it.
C... "FDR was a really great president who did a lot of really great things."
Um... just learning English much? Sounds like someone was out partying too late last night
and is trying to fake her way through an oral report. Next...
D... "Franklin Delano Roosevelt was a president who inspired a lot of people, and that's why
I'm writing this paper about him." This sentence uses first-person, which is
a definite no-no. Unless you knew FDR personally, in which case... go for it.
B is looking like a sure bet. As in, "Buddies."