A word to the wise: secret marriages don't work out well in Shakespeare plays. Just ask Othello and Desdemona.
|Author||Shakespeare - William Shakespeare|
War and Warfare
he should be a big bad general in our army. maybe it was all those victories he
won for us blah blah blah blah blah .I could have done the same I mean I didn't
but I could have .you know a fellow landed on my naughty list when he
promoted this loser named Cassio to be his lieutenant ,and clearly I would have [Cassio cheers and Othello grins]
been the better choice but hey at least it gave me an excuse for my favorite
pastime, knitting. oh and overly complicated plots
dealing with horrifically bloody revenge. I first enlisted this guy Roderigo, to my
cause. after all every villain needs a minion. alright well our first stop was
the powerful senator Brabantio whom we had the pleasure of telling that Othello
had recently eloped with his beautiful daughter Desdemona.
well Brabantio took it about as well as most dads would which is to say not well [tabloid with Desdemona pictured on it]
at all. and we may have fibbed a little saying that othello used witchcraft to
seduce Desdemona. even if I didn't hate SLO the whole plan would have been worth
it just to watch the veins pop out of Brabantio's head.
Brabantio was dead set on poking Othello full of holes but unfortunately for our
evil plan the Duke took Othello's side. fella went on and on about how he truly [dad growls, Othello explains]
loved Desdemona, and then Desdemona showed up and got all gooshy about him.
long story short the Duke believed their disgustingly sweet love story and
Brabantio heads off but still not before delivering this warning- look to her Moor
if thou hast eyes to see she has deceived her father and may thee not.
exactly the wedding blessing Desdemona was hoping for.
anyway if you ask me the Duke only spared othello because he wanted a
fellow to command the army in the upcoming battle against the Turks in [Iago grins]
Cyprus. did I not mention the upcoming battle
against the Turks in Cyprus? ha my mistake.
there was an upcoming battle against the Turks in Cyprus, that is until a fellow
yours truly and every other important character in this tragedy got to Cyprus
and found out that the Turkish Navy had been lost in a storm. kind of a fishy
plot there isn't it ?hmm maybe Shakespeare's producer slapped him with
some budget cuts. in Cyprus I got back on the revenge train. my new scheme was
great .I would convince Othello that Desdemona was cheating on him with [Iago smiles]
Cassio. that way all of my enemies would destroy each other while I sat back and
laughed and appropriately evil laugh. well of course my plan was needlessly
complicated but that's just my thing. alright first I got Cassio drunk then I
got Roderigo to get into a fight with Cassio then a fellow took Cassio's new
job away which sure that's what I was mad about in the first place oh I could
have stopped there but where's the fun in that ?well next i got Cassio to ask
Desdemona to ask othello to give Cassio his job back confused yet hmm? well
meanwhile I planted seeds in a fellow's head that Desdemona was doing the dirty [Iago sets up Desdemona to look like she's cheating]
with Cassio behind his back. I was like hey bud watch out for anything
suspicious, like oh I don't know Desdemona trying to convince you to give
Cassio his job back. yes move right? now all I had to do was get my wife Emilia
to steal a special handkerchief that a fellow had given to Desdemona as gift.
all I had to do was plant the handkerchief in Cassio's room and lead a
fellow there to find it, and voila that Plus Desdemona is inevitable pleading
for Cassio and some ingenious manipulations on my part convinced
othello his wife was cheating on him. Othello decided the only thing to do was
kill Desdemona, totally normal reaction not over-the-top at all . I suggested he
strangle her. what can I say I like to be helpful? meanwhile I convinced
Roderigo to go kill Cassio but he ended up bundling the whole thing, so I had to [Roderigo with a sword]
kill him and blame it on his girlfriend it's hard to keep a good help you know.
at least Othello came through in smothered Desdemona to death, I didn't
have long to enjoy that though because my dumb wife Emilia sold me out and told
everybody what I'd done. well I stabbed her for foiling my
perfect plot but it didn't do me much good. finally realizing what had gone
down othello stabbed me and then killed himself.
blood was everywhere of course .it wouldn't be a Shakespearean tragedy if
it didn't end with somebody having to buy a new rug. and that's the end of this
tragic tale -what's the take away here? easy never get married. [blood in a fancy hall]