Thought that English society was all about hosting balls and finding husbands back in the day? Well, you thought… right. But that doesn't make this love story any less exciting to read.
|Author||Austen - Jane Austen|
Language and Communication
Lies and Deceit
Society and Class
Women and Femininity
men as soon as possible. Enter my best friend, Charles Bingley. Chaz
is a super-nice guy. He's also loaded.
So the moment Mrs. Bennet learned that Chaz was living at Netherfield Park, she determined
that he would be her future son-in-law.
Chaz and the sweet Bennet sister, Jane, hit it off immediately.
In spite of my incredible wealth and position in society, my good looks and obvious intelligence,
I, Fitzwilliam Darcy, didn't do so well in the romance department.
In fact, I made Lizzie Bennet, the sassy sister, hate me from the get-go. What can I say? It's
a gift. Mrs. Bennet used some kind of voodoo to make
Jane catch a cold during a visit to Netherfield...
...and then Lizzie showed up out of concern for her sister's health. I was stuck in the
same room with Lizzie for several days and, wonder of wonders, I actually started to like
Turns out I wasn't the only one with the hots for Bennet sister number two.
Mr. Collins, who worked for my aunt, Lady Catherine, was a contender for Lizzie's hand...
...as was a soldier named George Wickham. More on that jerkface later.
Chaz threw a huge ball at Netherfield. Stuff happened. The upshot was that Chaz dumped
... and Lizzie kicked Mr. Collins to the curb.
But, even then, I just couldn't get Lizzie out of my head.
When I heard that the sassy Bennet sister was visiting Mr. Collins and his new wife,
I went to visit my aunt and Mr. Collins' employer, Lady Catherine.
I had my proposal all planned out.
There was going to be mood music and moonlight and a rowboat and singing marine life... Wait,
that's “The Little Mermaid”.
At any rate, I proposed to Lizzie, and she shut me down. She told me she hated me because
I had taken Chaz away from Jane, which was true...
...and because I'd acted like a jerk, which was also true...
...and because I'd been mean to Wickham, which was true, but I had a good reason. That jerk
tried to elope with my kid sister for her money.
I couldn't retire from the field without explaining my actions, so I wrote Lizzie the most amazing
letter in the history of letters, and then I left.
Some time later, I went home to my estate at Pemberley, and who should be there but
Lizzie and her very cool relatives, the Gardiners. I was on my best behavior...
...and Lizzie acted like she didn't hate my guts. It was awesome. I even got to introduce
her to my kid sister, Georgiana.
I thought for sure I was going to get my happily ever after, but then the troublemaking Bennet
sister, Lydia, ran off with Wickham, ruining the reputation of the Bennet family.
But, hey, I'm not rich and influential for nothing. I found Lydia and Wickham and made
sure they got hitched.
Then, I made Chaz return to Netherfield.
The whole I-saved-Lydia thing was supposed to be a secret, but the word got out.
Lizzie, who had kind of started to like me after reading the most amazing letter in the
history of letters and visiting Pemberley, fell head over heels in love with me.
In the end, Mrs. Bennet successfully married off three of her daughters.
Chaz got sweet Jane, I got sassy Lizzie, and Wickham got Lydia the troublemaker.
I'd feel sorry for Wickham, but Lizzie told me I don't have to, and her wish is my command.