Territory Breakdown: French, British, and the Iroquois
How did they decide who gets what? Did they use rock, paper, scissors to decide? Did they throw darts at a map? Flip for it? Do a little eeny, meeny, miney, mo? (Honestly, we could keep going...but we won't.)
|U.S. History||Colonial America: 1600-1754|
It was no picnic watching everyone divvy up our land after the French and Indian War ended.
Of course, this war was really just a small part of the Seven Years War…
… so those Europeans have been at it a while.
They’ve invested a lot of time, energy and
human lives, and sorta feel like… to the victor goes the spoils.
Even when the spoils are the only home we’ve ever known.
The French and British have been fighting over their claimed territories…
…while my Iroquois brothers and sisters are pretty much just siding with whoever promises
to ensure us an allocation of our own land.
We know we can trust them, because Europeans
never break their promises…
Anyways, the big point of contention is over
the territory around the Ohio Valley.
It’s a gray area, since that land is the seat of the Iroquois League…
…where plenty of the French and British had set up shop.
I suggested they “rock, paper, scissors” for it, but no one ever listens to me.
The French initially held a lot more territory than the British, but perhaps they spread
themselves a little thin…
…because the British were able to defeat them eventually.
Unfortunately for the French, their éclairs hardly qualified as lethal weapons.
As a result of their conquests…
…the British gained Florida and Canada.
Now they have more moose and alligators than they know what to do with.
They’ve also had the opportunity to expand into the Mississippi Valley.
Which is the Mississippiest of all the Valleys.
However, war isn’t cheap.
And the British have lately found themselves in a bit of financial trouble.
So what do they do? Have a garage sale of their own? Or organize a fundraiser?
Well, neither. Instead, they continue to tax the pants off the colonists.
And as you might imagine, the colonists aren’t thrilled about the buck being passed to them.
In fact, I wouldn’t be surprised if all the anti-British sentiment that’s been building up lately...
…leads to some sort of “American Revolution.”
But don’t quote me on that.
In the meantime, we Iroquois will just sit back and watch as our precious homeland
gets sliced, diced and doled out to the white man.
But seriously… we’re not bitter.