Texas EOC English 2: 2.5 Revision

breaking bad Jenny wants to revise sentence fifteen to provide

a more effective and sophisticated conclusion Which of the following

is the best revision and hear the potential answers or

revisions Ready room Alright Well jenny's looking to conclude her

paragraph with a bang No problem All we have to

do is make sure that we tie the supporting details

to the main point of the passage Walter was a

hero because of his service in the navy during world

war two And because he worked so hard to help

his children succeed So you can say that he was

a hero to both his country and his family All

right well so the key facts from the original sentence

are that walter served in the navy during ww two

and that he made sacrifices for his family Well the

best answer will connect these details to jenny's thesis that

her granddad was a hero to his country and his

family May the best answer wins All right well sorry

bi You're the first to be eliminated Even though you

have all the stuff we need we get the thesis

and the key facts But the sentence structure is a

mess It's like a dog chewed it shook it around

its mouth for a while then spit it back out

Don't feel too bad though Option d is a major

train wreck is well the main point gets totally lost

in the jumbled away The sentence gives us the details

Next we'll cross off see from our list where to

start with what's wrong with this option Well for one

it's a run on sentence walter was a hero to

his family into his country He was also a hero

because of his service in world war two are both

independent clauses that can stand on their own is complete

sentences do either we need to separate him with a

period or connect him with a semi colon to make

this correct it's really not worth the bother though because

this option also leaves out key details that walter made

Sacrifices for his family way to bring your a game

joyce See looks like the option A broad it's a

game Guess it's just in the blood Well this answer

is correct because it clearly states that walter was an

american hero and then backs up the thesis with details

of both of the ways in which walter was heroic

Walter also dominated at world of warcraft But for some 00:02:18.015 --> [endTime] reason jenny doesn't touch on that Yeah