Texas EOC English 2: 2.5 Revision
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| Language | English Language |
| Revision | Persuasive |
| Texas EOC English II | Revision |
| Texas EOC II | Revision |
Transcript
breaking bad Jenny wants to revise sentence fifteen to provide
a more effective and sophisticated conclusion Which of the following
is the best revision and hear the potential answers or
revisions Ready room Alright Well jenny's looking to conclude her
paragraph with a bang No problem All we have to
do is make sure that we tie the supporting details
to the main point of the passage Walter was a
hero because of his service in the navy during world
war two And because he worked so hard to help
his children succeed So you can say that he was
a hero to both his country and his family All
right well so the key facts from the original sentence
are that walter served in the navy during ww two
and that he made sacrifices for his family Well the
best answer will connect these details to jenny's thesis that
her granddad was a hero to his country and his
family May the best answer wins All right well sorry
bi You're the first to be eliminated Even though you
have all the stuff we need we get the thesis
and the key facts But the sentence structure is a
mess It's like a dog chewed it shook it around
its mouth for a while then spit it back out
Don't feel too bad though Option d is a major
train wreck is well the main point gets totally lost
in the jumbled away The sentence gives us the details
Next we'll cross off see from our list where to
start with what's wrong with this option Well for one
it's a run on sentence walter was a hero to
his family into his country He was also a hero
because of his service in world war two are both
independent clauses that can stand on their own is complete
sentences do either we need to separate him with a
period or connect him with a semi colon to make
this correct it's really not worth the bother though because
this option also leaves out key details that walter made
Sacrifices for his family way to bring your a game
joyce See looks like the option A broad it's a
game Guess it's just in the blood Well this answer
is correct because it clearly states that walter was an
american hero and then backs up the thesis with details
of both of the ways in which walter was heroic
Walter also dominated at world of warcraft But for some 00:02:18.015 --> [endTime] reason jenny doesn't touch on that Yeah