Texas EOC English 2: 4.5 Revision

i graduate from high school have to becoming a doctor

is very long And i see myself having i'll find

writing their people All right maria would like to revise

sentence thirteen to provide a more effective and sophisticated conclusion

Which of the following is the best revision And here

a potential answers and long cross and doctor Okay uh

well maria has correctly diagnosed that her rough draft of

sentence thirteen is in need of immediate attention Let's Hope

it's insured all the kindly people of geek Oh yeah

that little worm thing And what is that A lizard

that's Good All right The issue is that the third

paragraph discusses maria's long term career plans And then the

final sentence abruptly takes us back to the first step

in her path to medical glory in order to transition

back the first step in a way that actually wraps

up the essay we need to tie maria's ultimate goal

of being a doctor not just playing it to the

place where maria is now let's See which one of

these choices passes the test Well option d fails and

fails miserably this one's even more abroad than the original

sentence It's slaps us in the face with high school

and college without recognizing the entire essay before it Come

on Hey is an awful but it's kind of wishy

washy The claws this is all a long process is

just big and bad writing Come on people And particularly

you maria that you were looking at Yeah let's keep

looking All right You don't have to settle for this

Let's Go Option c does begin by recognizing the rest

of the essay So good job there but beginning the

sentence with although it doesn't make any sense Yeah that

is the best answer It begins by recognizing the long

track to dr dumb described by the rest of the

essay and ties the whole joining directly to where maria

is in the process Now when maria finally gets her

medical license well we're gonna have to have her take 00:02:18.955 --> [endTime] A look at this rash Not pretty Oh