Texas EOC English 2: 4.5 Revision

CompositionWriting Process
LanguageEnglish Language
Texas EOC English IIRevision
Texas EOC IIRevision

Transcript

00:19

i graduate from high school have to becoming a doctor

00:23

is very long And i see myself having i'll find

00:29

writing their people All right maria would like to revise

00:33

sentence thirteen to provide a more effective and sophisticated conclusion

00:37

Which of the following is the best revision And here

00:39

a potential answers and long cross and doctor Okay uh

00:48

well maria has correctly diagnosed that her rough draft of

00:51

sentence thirteen is in need of immediate attention Let's Hope

00:55

it's insured all the kindly people of geek Oh yeah

00:58

that little worm thing And what is that A lizard

01:01

that's Good All right The issue is that the third

01:04

paragraph discusses maria's long term career plans And then the

01:08

final sentence abruptly takes us back to the first step

01:11

in her path to medical glory in order to transition

01:14

back the first step in a way that actually wraps

01:16

up the essay we need to tie maria's ultimate goal

01:20

of being a doctor not just playing it to the

01:22

place where maria is now let's See which one of

01:25

these choices passes the test Well option d fails and

01:29

fails miserably this one's even more abroad than the original

01:32

sentence It's slaps us in the face with high school

01:35

and college without recognizing the entire essay before it Come

01:39

on Hey is an awful but it's kind of wishy

01:42

washy The claws this is all a long process is

01:46

just big and bad writing Come on people And particularly

01:50

you maria that you were looking at Yeah let's keep

01:52

looking All right You don't have to settle for this

01:54

Let's Go Option c does begin by recognizing the rest

01:58

of the essay So good job there but beginning the

02:01

sentence with although it doesn't make any sense Yeah that

02:05

is the best answer It begins by recognizing the long

02:08

track to dr dumb described by the rest of the

02:11

essay and ties the whole joining directly to where maria

02:14

is in the process Now when maria finally gets her

02:16

medical license well we're gonna have to have her take 00:02:18.955 --> [endTime] A look at this rash Not pretty Oh