Texas EOC English 2: 4.5 Revision
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Composition | Writing Process |
Language | English Language |
Texas EOC English II | Revision |
Texas EOC II | Revision |
Transcript
i graduate from high school have to becoming a doctor
is very long And i see myself having i'll find
writing their people All right maria would like to revise
sentence thirteen to provide a more effective and sophisticated conclusion
Which of the following is the best revision And here
a potential answers and long cross and doctor Okay uh
well maria has correctly diagnosed that her rough draft of
sentence thirteen is in need of immediate attention Let's Hope
it's insured all the kindly people of geek Oh yeah
that little worm thing And what is that A lizard
that's Good All right The issue is that the third
paragraph discusses maria's long term career plans And then the
final sentence abruptly takes us back to the first step
in her path to medical glory in order to transition
back the first step in a way that actually wraps
up the essay we need to tie maria's ultimate goal
of being a doctor not just playing it to the
place where maria is now let's See which one of
these choices passes the test Well option d fails and
fails miserably this one's even more abroad than the original
sentence It's slaps us in the face with high school
and college without recognizing the entire essay before it Come
on Hey is an awful but it's kind of wishy
washy The claws this is all a long process is
just big and bad writing Come on people And particularly
you maria that you were looking at Yeah let's keep
looking All right You don't have to settle for this
Let's Go Option c does begin by recognizing the rest
of the essay So good job there but beginning the
sentence with although it doesn't make any sense Yeah that
is the best answer It begins by recognizing the long
track to dr dumb described by the rest of the
essay and ties the whole joining directly to where maria
is in the process Now when maria finally gets her
medical license well we're gonna have to have her take 00:02:18.955 --> [endTime] A look at this rash Not pretty Oh