The Bible: 1 Chronicles

The first part of the Bible chronicles the senseless evils of...census conducting. Yes, really. Check out the video to learn more.

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LiteratureThe Bible

Transcript

00:19

give you the scoop on the first book of chronicles

00:22

If you've been following along you may realize that you've

00:25

seen this all before One chronicles is pretty much a

00:28

recap of the history of israel from adam all the

00:31

way teo you know in the solomon proving that even

00:34

in biblical times there were no new ideas Anyway the

00:37

israel lights had just been released from their babylonian exile

00:41

which happened after the persians took power They were going

00:44

home and they needed to regain their heritage They needed

00:48

stories from their great pass to get them going again

00:51

They needed teo stop at a seven eleven and load

00:53

up on snacks for the road You know some manna

00:57

stuff So one chronicles begins with genealogies nine whole chapters

01:02

of them and then tells the story of king david

01:06

it's a bit whitewash though none of that messy groups

01:09

got another man's wife pregnant and then had him killed

01:13

L oh well hash tag Yolo stuff Yeah David becomes

01:18

king after the death of saul the first king of

01:20

israel david spends most of his time Is king fighting

01:23

the enemies of israel and turns out he's really good

01:26

at it Philistine xhm oa bites ammonites and even ara

01:30

means none of them stand a chance against king david

01:34

Are you starting to see why this might be a

01:36

good story for a people who have been exiled for

01:39

generations in glory days galore david continues winning battles and

01:46

even brings the ark of the covenant to jerusalem before

01:49

george lucas takes it for a movie at first is

01:52

placed in a tent which we hope got some pretty

01:54

stellar yelp reviews but then david starts to feel guilty

01:58

he's like i have this awesome house but the aren't

02:02

just has a little tent and god is like chill

02:06

dude The tent has five stars on yelp free wifi

02:10

and a continental breakfast before ten a m also it's

02:13

totally okay for now because one of your sons will

02:16

eventually build a temple for the ark so things are

02:20

going smoothly for david Any israel light's a little too

02:23

smoothly And there's One thing we know will disrupt peace

02:26

and quiet It's a plague No not a plague huh

02:30

Maybe famine still know How about abba announcing a reunion

02:34

tour All right strike three All right So what did

02:37

david do to get got all riled up Well hold

02:40

onto your seats because this is a doozy He conducted

02:45

a census Yep Serious A census you know How old

02:50

are you How much money do you make What do

02:51

you think you pay in taxes this year That senses

02:54

and god was not happy with david So he offers

02:57

him and choice of punishments Three years of famine three

03:00

months of foreign attacks for three days of wrath and

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pestilence Well david decides to go with the short and

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sweet and god plagues the country for three days Seventy

03:09

thousand people die david's Like now i gotta take a

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new census and then has to immediately send a thousand

03:17

j k's to god Not a humor full guy So

03:21

david beg forgiveness from god and build an altar for

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him He also buys got a snickers bar just in

03:26

case he was you know angry or something Yeah god

03:30

relents the plagues go away and david decides he really

03:33

doesn't need to know how many people are in his

03:35

kingdom after all since this bi dan so after all

03:39

the census nonsense is done david starts to gather money

03:43

and materials to build the temple but he won't be

03:46

building it God dropped him a line saying he can't

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build it because he has so much blood on his

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hands what with fighting all the time you know but

03:54

god's like your son is going to be way calmer

03:57

and never take a census so he can build the

04:01

temple While the last thing that david does before giving

04:04

over the crown to solomon is to tell him that

04:06

being faithful that god is the most important thing he

04:08

could do is king and too seriously never ever take

04:11

a census unless he's completely census lists and god chimes

04:17

in also steer clear of terrible puns just my two

04:21

census and presumably he and david shared an awesome air

04:25

five anyway solomon comes to power with nary a pun

04:28

to be heard and the first book of chronicles is

04:30

over Join me next time for the second book of

04:33

chronicles Until then i'm cecil b de shmoop and this

04:36

has been it's not too late to go back to

04:38

law school Look at your sister She picked such a 00:04:40.568 --> [endTime] stable career Yeah right mom sitio