The Bible: Matthew
Matthew provides an easy transition between the Old and New Testaments. It's like a gateway gospel.
Jewish of the four Gospels. can tell because it's always coming tunes from
fiddler on the roof. so it makes a nice bridge between the
old and new testaments. right? is this little Testament I carried. well [Matthew asking for the old testament]
Matthews Jesus debates Torah with other Jews as well as fulfills a bunch of
Jewish prophecy. well this is supposed to help Jews everywhere ease into the whole [Jews celebrating]
Jesus thing. he also gives a spirited rendition of "if I were a rich man" is
another and it's local theater. very funny people.
all right well the book begins with a pretty long genealogy of Jesus. 14
generations to be specific. but eventually we get to the good stuff. we
meet Mary and Joseph learn about the Immaculate Conception and are introduced [mary and joseph pictured]
to the three Magi. number those guys they're Union now nice. I read wrong.
start Matthew there. it's no "tradition" but still strong start. a small
chance I really like Fiddler. yeah well Mary Joseph and Jesus have [Joseph, Mary and Jesus appear]
settled down in Galilee. Matthew wisely skips Jesus awkward teenage years.
nothing more embarrassing than being invited to a pool party and walking on
water. am i right? and the next time we see him he's being baptized by oh yeah
John the Baptist. that's where that came from. They weren't super creative with [John and Jesus fighting in a pool]
nicknames back then. Well after being baptized, Jesus goes out and spends 40
days and nights fasting in the desert while being tempted by the devil, who [Jesus laying in the desert]
knew how to have a good time? well from here Jesus begins doing all the things
that he's become famous for, he preaches love and forgiveness to the masses, [depiction of Jesus wearing sunglasses]
gathers disciples, performs a bunch of miracles, is the first person to see a
double rainbow, not that last but you know typical Jesus
stuff. so most of these miracles are about healing people with incurable
illnesses, which as you can imagine get Jesus a little attention in and, you know, a little PR. [Jesus sitting on a bench with a pigeon]
well some of this attention comes from the Pharisees. they were the
spiritual leaders of the Jewish faith at the time they weren't super stoked about
Jesus going around forgiving people's sins and healing them. but come on who [Jesus giving speeches]
wouldn't be stoked about that? okay fine I'll stop scuse me some words Stokes.
I just never use it. so what one might say I was stoked. all right. well the [Cecil stoking a fire]
Pharisees are constantly trying to trick Jesus with a loaded questions. but Jesus
being Jesus always outsmarts them or respond in parables. it's a
super cool way produced to reply but protip it's only cool when Jesus does it.
your friends won't appreciate it and might stop hanging out with that weird [man shrugs]
parable guy. I'm not speaking from experiences.
so Jesus continues touring the land healing lepers giving sight to the line [Jesus touring on a donkey]
walking on water and feeding 5,000 people with loaves of bread and two fish.
well this is before unlimited bread sticks at Olive Garden so people are
very impressed. and if you can imagine the Pharisees are looking pretty foolish [Pharisees hanging from a rope]
and they're reaching the end of their rope. then in a throwback to Jewish
tradition Jesus climbs a mountain and has a little chat with MO and Elijah.
well this connection to the Old Testament shows that Jesus is a
continuation of their faith. also what's up with all these mountain chats? first Moses
then Jesus. can't they just meet at Starbucks or [Jesus and Moses sitting in starbucks]
something? so, Jesus keeps on keepin on especially when it comes to stumping
the Pharisees and preaching about forgiveness and God's love. well the [people mock Jesus]
Pharisees finally snapped and they recruit Judas, one of the twelve
disciples to betray Jesus. well the price is thirty pieces of
silver. got a lot of money? I'm sure. so that convinced you to hand over your [Judas picks up silver]
friend for execution now probably not. probably .if your friend stopped
appreciating your fun-filled parables well then all that drop . thing is Jesus
is 10 steps ahead of Judas. at the Passover supper Jesus as one of you will [Jesus and disciples at supper table]
betray me by taking last of the matzah. oh, also one of you will betray me. Pass
the wine. everyone starts freaking out and Peter's pretty upset. but Jesus is like
come on Peter we both know you're going to deny me three times [ Jesus talks to Peter]
the cock crows. and we both know you took the last Matza. well finally the gang
heads to the Garden of Gethsemane where Judas betrayed Jesus by marking him with
a kiss on the cheek. right? the kiss of death. well I guess pointing and saying here he is [Judas kisses Jesus on the cheek]
wasn't quite as dramatic. Jesus is arrested and Peter follows after him.
three times people ask Peter if he's friends with Jesus and three times he's
like good I mean when we're more like a just acquaintances and the cock crows, and [Cockeril crows and attacks Peter]
Peter remembers Jesus' prophecy. oh Peter. well
Judas unable to live with what he's done hangs himself. the high priests hand over
Jesus to the Roman governor Pontius Pilate. Pilate famously washes his hands [Pilate washing hands]
of Jesus fate and lets the crowd condemn him to be crucified. you know between
this and the insistence that the wave be done at sporting event the guy's always
had the worst ideas. well Jesus is mocked beaten and made to wear a crown of [Jesus carries his cross]
thorns while he carries his cross to Golgotha aka place of the skull. Jesus is
crucified between two criminals and at the moment of his death there's an
earthquake and the veil in the sanctuary of the temple is torn in two. well Jesus'
tomb is sealed and guarded to make sure his body isn't taken out but three days [Guard rolls stone over tomb]
later when the stone is rolled back there's something missing from Jesus
tomb. what could it be what could it be oh right Jesus .yep Jesus is missing. why
well he's risen from the dead. turns out an angel came in the night and
the guard was so paralyzed with fear that he just kind of let it happen. well
needless to say the chief priests aren't happy and they try to start a rumor that
Jesus body was stolen, which all things considered better than trying starts a
wave at a baseball game. meanwhile resurrected Jesus heads to Galilee and [Jesus appears in the forest]
meets up with the eleven remaining disciples. book ends with Jesus telling [Jesus appears to disciples]
them to you know go make disciples of all nations.
and to bring him some matza. he's been craving for days. and that's that if you
feel like you missed something well never fear there are three more versions
of the story to go. granted none of them will be quite as Hebrew we as this one
but if you push the Fiddler's soundtrack on in the background to drown out your [Vinyl record playing]
mother's voice asking you why you didn't go to medical school while polishing off
of the briskets, enough you can make any situation feel nice and easy .until next
time i'm Cecil B. DeShmoop and I've got a brisket finish and yes I did start
this video with a bucket of chicken, but a judge not that you be not judged right? [Jesus, Matthew and Pontius Pilot gather around brisket]
yeah remember those words.