Careers

Find yourself. Or at least find a job.

Miscellaneous Careers

Even as a little kid, you were never one to fit into a box. And boy, did your older brother try.

While the other boys and girls were reading Twilight, you were reading The Practical Pyromaniac. When your peers got into football, you got into camel wrestling. So yeah, you’ve always been a bit on the fringe of society. Or, as you’d probably put it, “the gold-glittered tassels of society.”

So…why shouldn’t you have a career that isn’t easily categorized? Who’s to judge if you want to be the guy who picks up poop in an elephant sanctuary? Maybe it’s always been your dream to become a professional snuggler. Or who knows—perhaps it’s your dad pushing you to become the scuba-diving pizza delivery man he never was. It’s not fair of him to put his failure on you, but it is what it is.

Off you go into the great wide…whatever. Good luck with the bizarro career you’ve decided to pursue. May it bring you great joy and provide for some fantastic dinner conversation at the holidays.

(Okay, to be fair, there are some careers that simply don’t fit smoothly into any other category, but they’re totally respectable careers. We…can’t think of one at the moment, but that doesn’t mean they aren’t out there. Somewhere.)

Careers In This Field

Amusement Arcade Worker

Beekeeper

Poker Player

Vegas Dealer

Elf in Santa's Workshop

Professional Gamer

Mall Santa

Crossword Puzzle Writer

Embalmer

Appraiser

Hunter/Trapper

Zookeeper

Glass Blower

Tour Guide

Animal Trainer

Repo Man

Taxidermist

Sorority President