Vampires for good, not evil.
Ever been to a doctor? Okay, that's a trick question because either the answer is yes or you've just been freed from some kind of Kimmy Schmidt situation. In that case, welcome. We're glad to see you're already enjoying the Internet.
The reason we ask about the doctor is because you probably had to give up some fluid when you were there. Doctors are obsessed with getting the liquids out of us. It's like they're vampires, but without the smoldering glances that make encounters with vampires so much fun. Doctors are just like, "Here, fill this cup with something disgusting," and they usually won't even say why.
Are they collecting it? No. Worry not, doctors don't keep terrifying and disgusting collections of bodily fluids. At least, not for their jobs.
See, when it comes to medicine, a great way to determine what's wrong with someone is to check out the stuff that comes from that someone's body. So doctors need to look at these fluids of ours, no matter how gross that might seem when you think about it.
Doctors take these bodily fluids and send them off to a place called "the lab." Sounds pretty official, right? It is, and that's a good thing. At this lab, trained professionals perform a variety of tests on the blood, urine, or whatever it was you gave up for their research.
While you might be imagining some form of standardized tests, your urine actually is not filling out a scantron form with a number two pencil. It can only use number one pencils. (Get it? Number one? We'll show ourselves out…) Instead, what happens in the lab involves a whole lot of microscopes and chemistry that's pretty technical—so technical, in fact, that there's a whole field for it: a field called medical technology.
People majoring in medical technology learn all the secrets of getting the most information out of bodily fluids. They turn themselves into urine-whisperers, if you will, using the latest technology and techniques to find out what exactly is wrong with you.
Okay, so as a field, it's a little gross. Most people think that any day where they handle someone else's blood or urine is a bad one. For a medical technologist, though, it's just Tuesday. This is not a major for the squeamish, but if you're tough and you care about humans, it might be a good fit.
It's incredibly important as well. Medical technology is a vital link in the diagnostic chain since doctors need to know what's going on with patients before they can make anyone better. Without medical technologists, doctors would be left to look at a patient, shrug, and wish them luck. Um…thanks, Doc?
So as disgusting as medical technology work can be, it's needed. And it's not going anywhere, either. So long as there are people, there will be a need to analyze what's going on inside them.
Famous People who majored in Medical Technology
- Samaria Bailey, civil rights activist
- Dr. Igor Gamow, inventor of the Gamow bag and Shallow Underwater Breathing Apparatus
- Dr. Patricia Bath, ophthalmologist, inventor, and all-around impressive lady
- Stephen Fodor, scientist and businessman
- Dr. Moreau (with biology and genetics)
Percentage of US students who major in Medical Technology:
Stats obtained from this source.