Why Should I Care About This Driver Record Baloney?
First of all, it’s spelled B-O-L-O-G-N-A. Second, if you have racked up too many negligent driver points, your license will either be suspended or revoked by the DMV. You can apply for a new license at the end of this period, and hopefully you’ve changed your ways by then. Oh, sure, it starts with a few minor traffic violations here and there, but before you know it you’ll be committing grand larceny, bank fraud, and/or treason. We just don’t want to start seeing your name in the paper. Unless it’s for inventing some useful electronic gadget, or winning a peace prize. That would be pretty cool.
Each time you have a mark on your record, it stays there for 24 months (or longer, if you did something really shady). Your license can be suspended for 30 days if you accumulate ten points and for up to 24 months if you accumulate another ten. If you can put up 30 points in 42 minutes, you’ll probably make tonight’s highlight reel on ESPN.
Like a Vandal in the Wind
If you absolutely must destroy something, either break a pencil or beat up on your pillow. It’s far too costly to be caught doing anything worse, such as spray-painting graffiti onto the side of a bridge or keying your ex-boyfriend’s Mustang. If already licensed, you can lose your license for a couple years; if you’re not there yet, you can have the issuance of your license delayed for several years. And you’re going to need your license, because it sounds like you’ll have to be doing a lot of running from the authorities.
Here are a few examples of what can get you points on your driving record:
1-pointers
- Failure to signal
- Speeding
- Free throws, PATs, and soccer, hockey, and lacrosse goals
2-pointers
- Failure to obey a stop sign, yield sign, or traffic signal
- Disobeying order of an officer
- Slam dunks and safeties
3-pointers
- Driving while impaired
- Improper passing
- Failure to yield the right-of-way
- Field goals and any shot made from beyond the 3-point arc
4-pointers
- Passing a stopped school bus
- Failure to drive at a reasonable distance apart from another vehicle or intent to harass
- Wagering, speed record
- Rear-ending someone important, like Mickey Mouse
5-pointers
- Operation of a school bus at excessive speed
- Negligent homicide with a motor vehicle