Although it may be frustrating to have people walking around, getting in the way of your car, and slowing you down in general, please try to exercise some patience. Recall that even you were probably a pedestrian at one point in your life. ::gasp::Obviously, a pedestrian is less protected than the driver of a vehicle, so observe these simple rules and help keep them safe, so that they can reproduce and keep the pedestrian population alive and thriving:

1. Be mindful of the right-of-way of pedestrians. Whether a corner or crosswalk is clearly marked or not, be aware of the presence of pedestrians, and always stop to allow them to cross. Even the ones texting while they meander aimlessly down the street deserve a chance to live.
2. If a vehicle up ahead of you has stopped at a crosswalk, chances are they have not merely run out of gas. Do not pass a vehicle in these circumstances, as it is likely that someone is crossing in front of them.
3. No driving on the sidewalk unless you are crossing over it to enter a driveway or alley. Be careful when you do so, because there may be pedestrians on the sidewalk, hence the “walk” part of the word.
4. Don’t stop in the middle of a crosswalk. Why on earth would you do that anyway?
5. When a pedestrian makes eye contact with you, they are A) extraordinarily attracted to you, in which case you should give them your number, B) trying to fry you with their laser-vision or C) attempting to communicate to you that they are about to cross the street. Assume ‘C’ and stop to allow them to pass.
6. Some pedestrians may not be able to cross as quickly as others. This includes young children, disabled persons, the elderly, and people trapped in quicksand. Cut them some slack and allow them a little extra time.
7. Keep in mind that a blind pedestrian’s only clue that a vehicle is near is by the sound, so be sure to stop within five feet of the crosswalk. Also, just to be sure, lean out your window, yelling and screaming and banging a miscellany of pots and pans.